Ram, Where are you?
Author- Runjhun Saxena Subhanand
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Amidst busy life of work and home, my writing would have remained a dream had it not been for my husband, Mr Anadi Subhanand, who motivated me to pen down my thoughts. He being a writer himself truly knows the tranquility this passion provides. This work would have not been possible without my friends Mrs. Arpita Sinha, Mrs. Suchismita Dikshit who had been my critics in providing useful feedback. I extend my gratitude to my parents, my sister for always being at my side. Above all, a thank you to my son, Manas Subhanand, who created this new life for me.
1
It was a cold winter morning and the sun had barely shed its warm light on the earth. However, Deepika was up early with a mug of clear water near the tulsi plant singing the Gayatri mantra in her sweet voice, ready for her daily morning puja.
“Oh, even in winters she’s up so early. Why can’t she let us sleep? Oh, this voice is so disturbing,” exclaimed her mother-in-law, Veena, who was cuddling in her warm quilt.
“Let her do what she wants. Why are you bothering yourself? It’s her belief,” said Jamuna Prasad, Deepika’s father-in-law who was up and reading his daily newspaper.
“In Hindu dharma we consider our husband as our God, she should pray to my son,” said Veena.
Unaware form all this, Deepika continued her daily morning prayers and hymns and then went to prepare tiffin for office.
Rajesh, her husband was also up and getting ready for office.
“Deepika, are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes, just have breakfast then we can leave, “she answered.
“Papaji, your breakfast and lunch are ready. You can have when mummyji wakes up,” told Deepika. “And today is Tuesday, so I’ll do Sunderkand when I return in evening. Please tell her not to make dinner for me.”
Both Deepika and Rajesh left for work. “Did she go?” inquired Veena cautiously slipping off the quilt from her face.
“Yes, now you can get up,” chuckled Jamuna Prasad.
“Huh, what a Drama Queen she is! All this puja and nonsense is not going to do any good,” exclaimed Veena and got busy with her daily chores.
By evening, Deepika was back with a bunch of flowers and laddu. With both hands full she barely managed to ring the doorbell.
Ting-tong!
Veena opened the door. Deepika entered in with a faint smile.
“You’re back early? No work in office today?” inquired Veena.
“Work was there but I finished early. Had to do Sunderkand today,” replied Deepika.
“Hmmm, my poor son had to work long hours. See he’s still not back,” cried Veena.
Deepika ignored the daily sarcasm and proceeded with her work.
“Do you really believe in all this God and puja, or is it just a show off?” remarked Veena.
This remark took Deepika with surprise and she replied sternly, “It’s my faith. Not a drama.”
“Really? Faith, Huh?” claimed Veena. “In this mud idol?”
“Yes,” said Deepika, “even in this mud idol I can see God.”
“Well then let me see where your God is. In the next 24 hours show me your Ram.”
Deepika was stunned in silence. Veena continued on top of her voice. “Yes, call Him for lunch. Make kheer for Him. Serve Him with laddu.”
The sarcasm was too much for Deepika to handle. But she maintained her calm. Somewhere, inside her, someone had shaken her faith. It was like an open challenge for her.
“OK. I’ll invite my Ram tomorrow,” she replied with determination and went to do her puja.
That evening she sat with full concentration and a fighting spirit in front of the idol.
“Lord Ram! Are you testing me?” she thought.
“Well, it seems like a test for you. With firm belief I pray that I may be able to show your greatness to the world. Show me your presence, Shri Ram. You have to. You cannot let me down. No, you can’t.”
That night dinner was unusually silent.
“Uhh,” Rajesh cleared his throat and signaled his father.
“Nothing much, just the usual, mother-in-law daughter-in-law argument,” answered Jamuna Prasad.
“Hmmm… Deeps did you bring papa’s blood pressure and diabetes medicine?” said Rajesh trying to change the subject.
“I got blood pressure ones, but couldn’t find diabetes medicines,” answered Deepika.
“Ya, ya… How will she find medicines, she doesn’t have time. Today was her Sunderkand day!” added Veena.
“Raju, do you know her Lord Ram is coming tomorrow, for lunch,” continued Veena with a chuckle in her tone.
Rajesh stared at his mother in amazement. “Yes, yes… it’s true. She will serve Him kheer and laddu… Ha ha ha ,” and Veena burst out in uncontrollable laughter.
Deepika picked up her food and left for the kitchen, washed her dishes and went to her room.
“Tell her not to mind,” said Jamuna Prasad to Rajesh.
After dinner Rajesh tried to console Deepika. “Don’t mind. You know mom’s behavior. She’ll forget everything tomorrow.”
Deepika didn’t reply but continued reading a book which she had picked up and was lazily lying down with it.
“Are you angry?” inquired Rajesh.
“No, in fact I’m determined,” replied Deepika. “I’ll show her that my Ram will come.”
“Hmmm… Ok my Jhansi ki Rani, go to sleep,” smiled Rajesh and kissed her good night.
“By the way, I checked your papa’s medicine box. It seems he’s not taking his medicines daily. Remind him,” replied Deepika.
Deepika was unable to sleep. She turned to her side and thoughts were racing in her mind. Sometime later she dozed off.
2
It was a cold misty morning. One could hear chirping of the birds. Somewhere in the distance there was a sweet sound of temple bells penetrating into the atmosphere. The golden beam of sun was scattering slowly like a fine sieve. Deepika opened her eyes and saw through the window.
It was one of the most beautiful mornings she had ever seen. She gathered her shawl and went out in the garden. Cold breeze made her tug to her shawl closely as she moved through the grass. She felt she saw a faint image in the corner. “Who’s there?” she asked.
No reply came so she again asked.
“Deepika, it’s me, Your Ram. You invited me. Remember?” said the echoing voice.
Deepika was stunned for a moment. “Where’s my kheer and laddu?” the voice continued to say. It was the most melodious voice she had ever heard. Ah, what a soft, soothing and comforting voice.
Deepika continued to move in the direction of the voice when suddenly she twisted her ankle.
“Ah….,”she cried.
“What happened?” said Rajesh trying to wake her up.
“Did you see a bad dream, honey?” asked Rajesh.
“No…. In fact the most beautiful dream,” Deepika smiled and got up from bed. She hastily looked at the clock. 5:00 am. “What an auspicious hour to see the dream,” she thought.
“Where are you going? There’s still time. You can sleep,” said Rajesh in his sleepy tone.
“To make kheer and laddu… My Ram is coming,” she chuckled and left for the kitchen.
“Hmmm… it seems there’s no time for ladies to go mad,” he exclaimed and slept again.
3
By 8 o’ clock the day had gained its usual speed. Breakfast and lunch was ready. Deepika and Rajesh were ready to leave for office. Jamuna Prasad busy with his newspaper and Veena was sneaking from her quilt for them to leave.
“What are those extra boxes for?” asked Rajesh as Deepika stepped in to the car. “Kheer and laddus. You don’t know when Shri Ram would like to have His lunch,” replied Deepika innocently.
“I’ll have to take her to psychiatrist today only,” thought Rajesh as he started his car and drove off to office.
By 11:00 am both of them got busy with their work. Deepika and Rajesh both worked in the same office, though different projects.
“Hi, Deepika,” waved Ashwin, Deepika’s colleague. “I can smell something delicious from your bag. Is there anything special today?” Ashwin asked. He grabbed her bag and took out the kheer and laddu boxes.
“Ummm… smells great.”
Deepika grabbed the boxes back in a hurry, “Arrr… It’s for someone special.”
“Oh! The Great Indian Women,” Ashwin exclaimed with accent. “You still cook delicious food for Rajesh?”
“It’s not for him,” said Deepika.
“Oh, then for whom did you make these? Hmmmm… is there something fishy going on?” chuckled Ashwin.
“Oh no… Oh! cut the crap. Who’s going to argue with a rumour-monger like you? Taste some….” She said as she handed over the boxes.
“Ha Ha.. I’ll take a laddu… Oh it’s tasty,” Ashwin replied with his mouth full of laddu.
“I must say, every morning you bring a smile to my face. No matter how my day had been, you make me forget it. Thanks…” admitted Deepika.
“That’s what Rakhi brothers are for,” said Ashwin and moved to his desk.
In the other bay, Rajesh was busy handing the clients, when his mobile rang.
He hastily picked it up, the moment he saw his mother’s name flashing. “At this moment?” he wondered.
“Ya Ma…” he could hardly say more when her mother shrieked from the other side.
“Raju…. Something is happening to your papa. He’s … he’s fainting… holding his chest… Come soon… Hurry” exclaimed Veena in a troubled voice.
“Oh! Ma… just wait! I’m coming don’t worry.”
Saying this Rajesh just ran towards Deepika’s bay.
4
“Deepika… Come out of your bay. It’s urgent,” said Rajesh in a troubled voice as he rang up his wife going towards her bay.
“What happened, Rajesh? You sound tense,” replied Deepika as she moved from her desk.
As she came out she saw anxious Rajesh running towards her. “I think papa had a heart attack. We need to rush home.”
“Oh Ram! Wait I’ll get my stuff,” Deepika said and ran towards her desk.
Ashwin saw her running in haste and understood that some emergency had occurred. He quickly packed her stuff in her bag. “Don’t worry. You just log off from your work and leave.”
“Thanks a lot. Papaji had a heart attack it seems. I’m leaving.”
Rajesh was waiting for her in the parking.
“Ok, let’s go. You calm down honey. If you want to help your father you need to reach safely. Take a deep breath and drive. I’ll make some calls on the way,”
“Hello, Ambulance service?” Deepika called an ambulance and gave hem directions of her home. “They’ll reach before us,” she exclaimed.
“Hello, Anita aunty? Deepika here. Can you please check with mummyji downstairs? I’m reaching home in few minutes. Papaji is unwell,” Deepika called her neighbor.
By the time they reached home, an ambulance was already there. Paramedics were carrying Jamuna Prasad to the ambulance. Veena was crying loudly and she ran to hug her son the moment she saw him. Anita’s 21-year-old son was there at the door.
“Mummy was not at home when you called. So she told me to come. I came downstairs,” explained Sonu.
“Thanks Sonu,” cried Deepika. “You are looking weak yourself.”
“Haven’t eaten anything aunty. But you don’t worry.”
“Oh, I just have some laddus, have one. I’ll go to the hospital,” said Deepika.
“Rajesh, you bring mummyji in car with you, I’ll go with papaji in ambulance,” Deepika said as she sat in the ambulance.
Ambulance rushed to the hospital with its light and siren ringing.
The entire way Deepika could think nothing. Her brain seemed numb to her. But even in this arduous situation she chanted the Sunderkand verse throughout.
“Deen Dayal Virad Sambhari; Harho Nath Mam Sankat Bhari!”
Soon they arrived at the hospital where the paramedics rushed Jamuna Prasad to the emergency room. Rajesh also arrived with his mother.
As Deepika stepped out, the ambulance driver exclaimed, “Madamji you seem tensed. Don’t worry everything will be fine. After all you were chanting what Devi Sita prayed to Shri Ram.”
Deepika suddenly turned over with a tear in her eye and said, “Thanks.”
She was about to leave when something dawned over her and she went to the driver and said, “Bhaiyaji have this laddu and pray that my father-in-law becomes well.”
“He will. Believe me,” and he walked away.
