HIDE & SEEK
PRASHANT SETA
HIDE & SEEK
February 2015
It was a pleasantly cold February morning when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Mumbai Airport.
I was travelling to Ahmedabad to attend a college friend’s wedding. It had been four years since we had graduated from the same college. The wedding was planned to be a reunion of our batch mates after four long years.
I gingerly walked inside the airport. Little did I know that the reunion would begin much earlier than I had anticipated.
As I took my place in the queue at the check in counter, I was almost sure it was her. Same height! Same hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued on her. And then about thirty seconds later, when she turned around, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue.
On seeing her, I rushed back in the past. I had never seen her after our college farewell, but her face had always been etched in my memory.
May 2011
Four years ago, this girl had left me in pain. She left me with a lot of unanswered questions. Ever since she left, each day of my life was spent in answering one big question – where had she gone? She went missing on the very next day of our farewell.
I clearly remember our farewell day. It went well. We were together the whole evening in the banquet hall of Hotel Prince Garden, Mumbai where our farewell had been organised. We cherished every moment of our togetherness. We were, or rather, I was deeply in love with her. I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. Unfortunately, destiny had other plans.
I, Abhimanyu Hirani, fell deeply in love with Tasnim Shaikh, during the first year of engineering at IIT, Mumbai. When I fell in love with her, I didn’t know she was Muslim or she came from a humble background. There is no predefined criteria for falling in love – it is truly blind.
I didn’t waste much time. By the end of the second semester itself, I proposed to her and she accepted my proposal. Immediately, our friends started calling us the cutest couple in the campus and by the time we reached the final year, we were truly, madly and deeply in love with each other.
I always knew I had to spend my entire life with Tasnim. I wanted to marry her. I had even convinced my parents to come to Mumbai all the way from Canada to approve the girl of my dreams. They were to meet her on the day following the farewell.
My biological mother and step father were high profile corporate honchos settled in Canada. Their world was purely material and true love and feelings meant nothing to them. For them, time was money and money was God. Wasting a single day on their son was wasting a lot for them.
I had been requesting them since three months to come and meet Tasnim. Finally, when they spared some time for me and landed in Mumbai, my girlfriend had disappeared.
They had been unwilling to come to India to meet her from the start. There were two reasons for their unwillingness – first, they wanted me to marry a girl of their choice, who would surely be a daughter of some NRI corporate pinstripe; and second, Tasnim was a Muslim girl from a poor family.
However, I was determined to marry the girl of my choice, whom I had loved for the past four years. I believed in the magic of true love, I knew my happiness lay with her.
But Tasnim proved me wrong. She set an example of betrayal. She cheated on me. She made me believe that true love is a myth - she proved my parents right. I loved her from all my heart. She knew how much I fought with my parents to convince them to come to Mumbai to meet her. Still, she disappeared without informing me. I called her continuously, but her phone was switched off. I ran to her home twice, only to find it locked. I contacted every common friend for her whereabouts, but nobody knew where she had disappeared. My parents stayed for four days in India, and I tried everything possible to find her, but in vain.
My parents and I had a pact to get back to Canada if Tasnim didn’t turn up in those four days. After four years of staying alone in India, I was going back to Canada with them. Our flight was scheduled in few hours. I kept looking at the entry gate of the airport hoping she would come to see me once she got to know I was leaving forever. I constantly checked my phone in the hope of receiving a call or message from her. She didn’t come to the airport nor did she call me. Why didn’t she tell me if she didn’t want to marry me? I was burning from inside…I was unable to digest the fact that she had ditched me. I remembered our golden days - our late night chats, bike rides, having fast food at road side stalls, the evening walks - I missed her terribly.
I felt weak as I hadn’t eaten properly. My eyes had turned blood red due to insufficient sleep. My head was heavy with her thoughts. I wanted her badly. I was dying to see her, to meet her, to hug her. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
Where was she? The thought echoed in my head.
On the other hand, my parents felt they had wasted four days in Mumbai. They abused Tasnim as much as they could.
“I know these middle caste people well... She was interested in your money, she is done with you now.” My step father ranted as we sat in the airport lounge waiting for our flight.
“A bitch. Forget her… you deserve a better girl.” My mother added.
I knew I could never forget her.
“If she was interested in money, she would have married me.” I replied to my father whom I hated from the core of my heart.
“… And don’t you dare call her a bitch, mom.” I shouted in pain and anger.
I hated my mother ever since she had married my arrogant step-father.
“Are you angry on me for that bitch?” My mother remarked. “She might have done this to many fools like you…”
I tried to control my anger.
“We care for you. Don’t forget, we are your parents...” My father added.
“Parents?” I looked at him and then turned to my mom, “Parents who are only interested in money… You are just money making machines…”
“Shut up, Abhimanyu.” My mother shouted. “You are crossing your limits…”
“Don’t forget you can afford your lifestyle only because we earn. These shoes, clothes, mobile, laptop, bike, car… we buy these for you. So don’t call us money making machines…” My father added insult to the injury.
“You haven’t done any favour on me.” I blurted out in anger. “You married my mother.”
“Abhimanyu...” My mother slapped me hard on my left cheek.
“I think you have done something to Tasnim,” I retorted. Pat, I felt another slap on my cheek. It was from my father this time. He had no right to hit me.
“We are not at all interested in your life… you fool.” He added.
“If you have done anything wrong to Tasnim, I swear, I’ll kill you.” I threatened him.
My father raised his hand to slap me again. My mother dived in to stop him.
“You mother fucker…” He shouted from a distance. I lost my temper and punched him hard on the face. He fell on the floor. My mother and all the other passengers looked at me in bewilderment.
After thirty odd minutes, the boarding for the flight to Canada was announced. My parents stood up and picked up their bags expecting me to do the same. I didn’t want to go to Canada to live my life with that arrogant man. I decided not to go with them.
Finally, they left after severing all ties with me.
February 2015
The girl who unknowingly spoiled my life was standing barely five feet away from me. I wasn’t happy to see her, I wasn’t sad either.
I had done everything possible to find her. I had left my home for her. My visa had expired and I stayed back in India illegally to find her. I had to spend six months in jail because of my illegal stay. I developed Attention Deficit Hyper Active Disorder. I spent six months in rehabilitation centre. I lost my career. I had big plans for the future; instead, I became a beggar and a mental patient. I had no money, no job and no home. In fact, I had no future. I lived my life with whatever money my mom transferred in my account.
At 27 years of age, I looked 40 years old. My face was pale, I had a beard and couldn’t walk properly. On the other hand, she was as fit and gorgeous as before. We were the same age, but she looked much younger and confident. I felt like a complete loser. I didn’t even know whether my friends would recognise me anymore.
Every now and then, she turned around to look at me. Finally, she reached the counter, took her boarding pass and left. I wanted her to smile at me, come to me and apologise to me. I wanted her to come and run her hand in my hair. I wanted to keep my head in her lap and sleep peacefully. But she completely ignored me and walked off.
I saw her once again in the waiting lounge. She was reading a magazine. I sat on a chair opposite hers.
Her silence was awkward and her behaviour was quite strange. She had changed completely.
I couldn’t bear the weird silence between us. I gathered courage and went to her uninvited. I sat by her side. She smelt the same!
“Tasnim?” I asked. “I hope you remember me…”
She stayed quiet. I had expected her to be ecstatic on seeing me. On the contrary, she didn’t pay any heed to me. She wasn’t interested in me. She didn’t even notice my pathetic condition.
“Can you please answer one single question?” I asked her.
She took a deep breath. “Yes...”
Her voice was music to me. It was so pleasant. I was dying to hear that voice.
Why did you do this to me?” I desperately asked, “Where were..” I couldn’t complete the sentence and broke into tears. I hadn’t cried in the last four years.
“Abhi...” she said. I had been dying to hear ‘Abhi’ in her voice.
“As planned, I came to your flat on the next day of our farewell.”
I looked at her in confusion.
“I was very happy but as I was about to enter your home, I overheard your parents talking about us in your drawing room...”
Whatever she revealed was shocking. According to her, she came to my home and overheard my parents discussing us. They abused Tasnim and her entire family in every sentence of their conversation. My parents were discussing ways and means to detach me from her, and how they could set me up with some other girl once we reached Canada. They said she had trapped me for money. They were planning to throw her out of my life.
“They didn’t like me, Abhi,” she said in a low voice. “I loved you a lot... but...”
“You should have spoken to me once…” I blurted out in desperation.
“There was no point, Abhi. I didn’t want to leave India… I had an ailing mother and a younger sister. Who would have taken care of them? In spite of that, had I left India and your parents would have kicked me out of your life… I would have been completely lost... I was afraid… I was really afraid Abhi…”
I turned silent. Had she spoken to me about her fears then, I would have never asked her to move out of India. I would have happily taken care of her family.
But she didn’t trust me. She loved me but couldn’t understand me.
“I was afraid what if…” She stopped without completing her sentence.
“What?” I asked
“What if you had ditched me in Canada on your parents’ insistence…” She still could not complete her sentence.
Her words pierced me. Even in my wildest dreams, I couldn’t imagine leaving her.
I hesitantly asked, “Do you still love me?”
She looked into my eyes, which shimmered again with the hope of having her back.
“Actually, Abhi, I am married now...” She replied.
“My husband is on his way to the airport. We are going to Ahmedabad for a vacation.”
She wasn’t going to attend the wedding. She wasn’t going to Ahmedabad to find me.
She told me she was working with a multinational company in Mumbai and her younger sister was studying in IIT, Mumbai. Their mother had passed away some time back.
“Do you want to know about me?” I asked.
Before she could reply, a young man walked up to her and hugged her. They seemed really happy. They chatted for sometime and then he looked at me...
“He is a college friend… going to Ahmedabad for a batchmate’s wedding...” She clarified.
“Great! Good to see you, man.” He lifted his hand to shake mine, but I stood transfixed. A college friend? That is what she called me? Neither did I reply nor did I shake his hand.
Soon, they were lost in conversation and forgot about my existence. After about ten minutes, they walked to the terminal as the flight boarding was announced.
I was going to Ahmedabad only to meet her. It was my last hope of finding her. Now, there was no point of going to Ahmedabad anymore.
I walked out of the airport and saw the plane disappear in the sky, taking away four years back from my life.
I hailed a taxi from outside the airport and returned.
T H E E N D
