John’s Terrible Idiom Tale
By: Rijuta Gohil
John was in a café feeling miserable. He had not gotten enough sleep. Today was the worst day of his life. He had slept in and come to work late. He had gotten a warning from his boss. His boss had said that if he didn’t come on time any other day he would be fired. Then while he was driving home, his car broke down. He had somehow managed to take it to a repair shop. But the mechanics said it would take a few days to work again. So John had decided to walk back home when it started pouring. John had decided to wait out the storm at this cafe. He called his friend, Sam, to tell him about his day to kill time. After the conversation, John was looking out the window of the café when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see..Sam.
“Hey John! How was your day?” said Sam in his cheerful voice.
“Hey,” said John glumly. Then he felt a rush of annoyance. “Look, I told you that today was a bad day and I don’t want to talk anymore so get lost, okay?”
“There is nowhere to get lost John,” said Sam. He was wondering what John meant by get lost. He was born in this city and knows all the streets and places in it. Even if he did get lost, he was 21 year-old with a phone. Sam could easily call someone or use Google Maps to find his way around. ‘How could I, a 21 year old, get lost?’ he wondered.
“It’s a saying! When did you become so annoying?! You sure know how to get on one's nerves!” shouted John. He was really annoyed now.
“Well, someone is angry. I didn’t mean any harm. I was just saying. Anyways, how did I get onto your nerves? Is that even possible?” Sam asked, baffled.
“You don’t know anything, do you?” John yelled.
“Why are YOU annoyed?” Sam asked, clearly confused.
“I woke up on the wrong side of my bed, so WHAT?” John said, half- screaming, half-yelling. He was getting ticked off. ‘Couldn’t Sam just let me be?’ he thought.
Sam was really confused now. John was saying these random sentences that made no sense whatsoever. “How did you wake up the wrong side of your bed? Was there something bad on one side and you woke up on that side? Or were there spikes under a side of your bed and you stepped on the spikes? WAIT, ARE YOU OKAY?”
“Don’t fool around! This isn’t funny! Let’s just order something to eat,” John replied, snappishly.
“Fool around, does that mean acting like a fool? How dare you! I thought you were my friend! I wasn’t acting like a fool at all. I am not a fool!” growled Sam who was offended by John’s remark.
“I didn’t mean it like that. It is just a saying! Let’s just go order something..I want a cup of Joe!,” said John, hastily. He didn’t want Sam getting angry at him. That would not help his mood at all. After all, it wasn’t Sam’s fault that he had a bad day.
“A CUP OF JOE!” Sam wondered out loud. “I didn’t know that Joe could fit in a cup…” They both got up and ordered two cappuccinos.
As they sat down to eat, John said, “I am so hungry I could eat a horse!” After seeing Sam’s confused expression, he quickly added, “Just pulling your leg.”
“Don’t you think eating a horse is kind of mean? I mean, they have feelings, too. Plus, you weren’t pulling my leg. If you did, then I would know.” Sam said.
“You really were born yesterday weren’t you? I was kidding when I said that I could eat a horse. Pulling your leg means telling the untruth. You really think I would eat a horse? You know what, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just chow the food down.” John said, trying to contain his laughter. ‘Sam is hilarious’ John thought while sipping his cappuccino. John wasn’t even grumpy anymore.
“I am 21 years old. I wasn’t born yesterday!” said Sam, now a bit angry.
Seeing this, John said, “Hold your horses! I’ll explain. I didn’t mean it in that way, alright?” He was internally dying of laughter. Sam was just too funny. John never expected that Sam wouldn’t know all these different sayings. He chuckled as he took another sip of his cappuccino.
“Alright, anyways, do you know about that soccer game coming up?” said Sam. Then without waiting for a response, he said, “Well, I think I am going to do awful. Do you think I’ll fail?” Sam was genuinely worried.
“Search me. It will probably be a piece of cake for you. Just go out there and break a leg,” replied John. Sam looked horrified.
“First of all, why would I need to search you? You’re not some kind of criminal. Second of all, how is a soccer game a piece of cake? Cake is something to eat while a soccer game is something to watch! And third of all, why would I want to break a leg? Wouldn’t that mean I couldn’t play? And I really want to play” questioned Sam, still looking horrified.
John just shook his head and chuckled. ‘This is actually very, very amusing,’ he thought as he finished his cappuccino.Then he said, “Knock it off! And before you pepper me with questions, it means stop. And I meant stop asking questions, I am sure you will do great. You love playing soccer. Anyways, I have to go now. Looks it stopped raining. Have fun at the soccer game! Bye!” John laughed as he got up and walked out of the café. Sam just stared at John walking away. Then he smiled. Of course he knew what John was talking about the entire time. He was just acting like he didn’t to play a prank on John. At least he managed to crack John up after John’s bad day.
THE END
