Trembling Shadows
A romantic, psychological thriller
Kotra Siva Rama Krishna
“Certainly I do.” Then Anand explained about Sunanda’s boyfriends with Aravind. Without showing any facial expressions Aravind heard all that very patiently. Sameera felt very much surprise as Anand explained the matter so to Aravind without any feeling at all. Aravind indeed could influence anyone, she thought.
“Is there no wrong at all in her maintaining boyfriends like that and satisfying her bodily urge with them?” Anand angrily asked.
“Certainly it is wrong! Adultery! She deserves a very big punishment for the grievous wrongs she has committed.” Aravind said.
“Aravind what you are talking? Sunanda is already in problem. You are making it even more worse by talking like this now.” Sameera said with lot of anguish in her voice.
“What anyone can do? The wrongs she has committed so far are like that” with a satisfying smile Anand said.
“In fact with such a characterless woman you should not lead your marital life at all.” considering the satisfaction in Anand’s face Aravind paused a moment and then said again “Make all efforts to get divorce from her as soon as possible.”
“What you are talking? I have no intention to divorce her.” Anand startled a little and said.
“Why…Why? Why should you share your life with an adulterous woman like her?” looking at him questioningly Aravind asked.
“No… No… I am not going to divorce her. I just punish her for the wrongs she had committed.” Anand said hastily.
“Yes, you never give divorce to her. Because she has got lot of properties with her. You are having a comfortable way of living with her. If you divorce her you will lose everything of it. You are not such a fool at all to lose the benefits and facilities you have got because of her wrong doings in the past. But you punish her for the wrongs she had committed.” His voice was with force and full of angry that stunned Anand. He did not talk anything. It appeared that he had fallen in deep thinking.
“Ever it has not occurred to you that you are doing a mistake?” Aravind asked him again. Sameera was looking at him surprisingly. She could not think of that he would take the situation that easily into his control.
“She did wrongs.” Anand said slowly “Not excusable”
“Who did not do wrongs? Are you never did a wrong in your past? If you want to live with her, just forget about the wrongs she committed in the past. She is so much decided to lead a perfect life with you. Cooperate with her.” Aravind paused and looked straight into the face of Anand again before continuing “Otherwise give divorce to her. She can easily get more suitable husband than you. But before doing anything, be sure of yourself that you never did any sexual wrongs. Because, it is quite impossible to anyone not to commit them.”
There was no response from the side of Anand. But it appeared quite clearly that he was started thinking in a different way then. There was no animosity and anger in his eyes now which appeared sometime back.
&&&
“You and your mother…You both are two big whores” the person to whom she has given herself physically to get the financial aid to complete her medical studies said on the first day after making her completely naked and got himself on top of her. “She never agreed to give you to me in this way. I never could think of that I can lay my hands on you like this. But at last I can. Money has that power, has it not?”
While his hands roughly moving all over her naked body, she heard what he was saying helplessly. She did not have any male touch unto that day. She was going to lose her virginity in the hands of this age old brute. Just for money. However much she wanted to study medicine, she could not feel happy at that time. She could feel the flow of hot tears on her cheeks. It seemed he was completely oblivious what she was feeling, what she was thinking. He was doing whatever he wanted with her body and getting maximum pleasure.
“You did not come easily to me, you whore. It is causing me to give up an awful lot of money. Only because of me you are able to join in medicine. Don’t try to stop me. Let me get the pleasure in all the ways possible from you. I want to have the value of every rupee I am spending on you both.” When she tried to stop him going down on her and play with her public parts he said.
She still could remember his awkward kisses all over her body. She winced with pain when he kissed and bitten in the very smooth and objectionable places in her body. Her groans with pain as well became a source for his pleasure.
“But you are more enjoyable than your mother. That whore is not as good as you to me. She never agreed to get you for me. But at last she did. The help I offered to her, made her agreed to give you to me. At last she got you into the trade. A whore’s daughter is a whore. What else she can be?”
It was like a whiplash to her. She knew that her mother was doing some odd things to make the family move on. She suspected prostitution as well one of them. But she never questioned any of that. Why it was so? she thought with depression. Was it just because that they were utter poor? She never had thought that she had to sleep with the man with whom her mother slept. She suspected whether this man made her mother as well suffer in this way.
“How beautiful you are! How tender your youthful parts are! I feel happy that I am the first person to enjoy your youth and enter into you” while exploring thoroughly one after one the youthful parts in her body he said.
He raped her so brutally. It was not ended on that day and she had expected that in before itself. But every time before she offered herself to him she collected the money from him. He grumbled every time to give the money to her but he did.
“Mom, why did we fall into a trap like this? Why cannot we live a life like all others?” she asked her mother with anguish on one day.
“I am that much poor and these people forced me to live like this. Now even we try, these people would not allow us to live in a decent way. After your father’s death, I have tried in all the ways possible to live decently. But these people got succeeded in seeing that I could not get any other work to do. At last I myself have to offer to these people’s sexual urges to gain a living. If it was only for me, I might prefer to die rather than got myself into this garbage. But there were you too. How I could leave you to die?” There were tears flowing down on her mother’s cheeks.
“Oh, mom. Don’t weep please. Anyhow I am feeling happy that I can manage to study medicine” wiping the tears on the cheeks of her mother and trying to make herself and her mother happy Malathi said.
“I have become quite helpless. I am feeling disgust with my own life. At least you see that your offspring would not fall into this dear. Please” there was lot of agony in the eyes of her mother.
“Certainly mom, don’t worry about that at all”
In the fourth year of her medicine her patron was died. Her mother as well died in the same year. She became so desolate, so helpless and so unhappy. Then Rajesh came to her help. She said all the people except Rajesh that she was living with her step father and mother. So it had gone all the while without much problem from outside. No one tried to probe too deep into that matter. Everyone was busy with his or her own problems.
“Don’t stop studies please. I know you are intelligent and hardworking. I shall provide all the means necessary for you. Just continue it. Once you have completed your studies, we both start practicing medicine together. You work for me some years freely until the debt is cleared.” It was not at all surprised to her that Rajesh offered help to her then. He was such a good friend to her. Long before then she started liking him.
When once Rajesh decided to marry Tanuja it hurt Malathi a lot. In fact she wanted to marry him. Moreover physically they both became one too. But he appeared too much infatuated towards Tanuja. He said firmly that he wanted to marry her. Malathi got lot of angry. She felt too proud to insist him to marry her. And for the help he did to her she had decided to let him do whatever he wanted with his life. As he was thinking marrying Tanuja would give him more pleasure, she thought better let him do that. That was the only way to repay him in full for the help he did to her. That was why however much it hurt her she did not try to stop Rajesh from marrying Tanuja. After Rajesh, the other person she liked a lot was Vinod. She feared if she made too late some other woman would claim him too. So she proposed marriage immediately with him after Rajesh fixed for Tanuja and it worked out.
Malathi moved uncomfortably in the chair in which she sat. There was a small smile on her lips. What a sweat boy Vinod was she thought. His masculinity was so strong. She could not think of a lean man like him would have the capacity to satisfy her urge completely but he could. It was surprising to her he understood well not only about the mind as a psychologist but the body also. His philosophy of human being as well quite appealed to her.
“Human being is an animal. Its main aim always is to satisfy its bodily urges. It first tries to do that through justifiable means. If through justifiable means not possible to satisfy them, it would not stop. It tries to satisfy them even with very unjustifiable and ugly means too. It tries to appear dignified and decent but never fall short even to do the ugliest things to satisfy itself especially when it comes to sexual urges. There is no difference between male and female in this regard.”
How apt he was in his saying so! Otherwise how could she give herself to Rajesh too! Why she had felt such longing for the touch of Rajesh even after she was properly married to Vinod and satisfying herself sexually with him? Why atleast Rajesh not tried to stop her? ‘Human being indeed is an animal’ she thought.
On another occasion Vinod said to her. “One other thing we never can understand in our lives is sex. We make it so sinful that we desist ourselves even to discuss about it in open. We think that we don’t do wrongs if we suppress and cover it. But it would come out with doubling force. We never can command it and we never can suppress it completely because it comes from inside of us. Not from outside. It is inherent, immanent and inborn in our bodies. Even at the last moment of our life too, we cannot get rid of it. What all we have to do is try to understand it in a correct way.”
She could still remember the complacence on his face when she offered herself completely naked on the bed. His hands somewhat clumsily moved everywhere on her body on that day. His mouth touched every nook and corner on her body. But even at the very first time itself her experience with him was quite nice and memorable.
He never had asked her any awkward questions. He never objected her staying in the hospital sometimes even in the night times too. When Sunanda was so small a girl he looked after all her needs whenever Malathi had to completely holdup in the hospital. It was indeed very difficult to give cooperation like that all the time.
(I hope that you enjoyed upto here. I shall publish the next chapter as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to rate and review.)
