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Afraid - 2

Do you want to live because you are afraid to die? If you think something should be written about the question, go ahead and do so.

Am I afraid of death?...Am I? All my life I have been a dare devil. Afraid of nothing. But I have never wondered or asked myself until today, Am I afraid to die?....My name is Dehlia Turner. I am twenty four years old. Only child of Hank and Pricilla Turner. I had a wonderful childhood and my parents are amazing. They have given me everything I could need or ask for in life. My life was perfect until three months ago. I started having severe cramps and numerous other health issues with my stomach. Thinking it was just a bug or something silly, I went to the doctor that Wednesday morning for my follow up check up and results on the blood tests and scans that was done the previous week, assuming I would get pain medication and maybe some antibiotic to clear up the virus. I had no idea that day would change my life.

Walking into the old grey haired doctor's office. He looked up with almost a smile of sympathy on his face as he welcomed me and told me to take a seat. In detail he explained the results of my bloodtests and scans to me. As he spoke I felt the blood drain from my face, my head started spinning, and I felt tears stream fown my face. Cancer!!

My pankreas, my stomach, and my womb. All of it. The cancer was allready so aggressive that the doctor explained he is not even sure chemo and laser therapy would make a difference. He could give me Morphine for the pain. And it is up to me to decide if I want the treatment done or not. I was completely numb. Speechless. I had no idea what to do or say. The doctor kept talking on, something about my diet and other factors that I would need to change. I didn't hear a word he said.

Back to the present. I refused all treatment. this is how I go, so be it. Am I afraid to die? No. I am not afraid of death. In my case, end my suffering. 

In her eyes you could see the misery

and destruction she had faced day by day,

In her voice you could hear the defeated tone and sorrow in every word she didn't say, Her mouth told a story that would break the strongest man amongst men's heart, Even if she so masterfully faked a smiled on her part

She got up and dressed up and showed up even when she did not have the strength to simply stay alive, She pushed through and kept going even when she had no reason anymore to survive, Because as proven over centuries, over and over again she realized that she would have to save herself every day, There was no knight in shining armor coming to save her or take her pain away

Through all the trials and sorrow, she remained soft hearted and kind, Continuing to show up for people