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I am Radha

I am Radha. I was born at a place called Braja,where the community I lived in were herds men who cared for cattle like cows and water buffaloes.My father was Brishabhanu and mother Krittika.The name of my village was Barsana. When I was eleven I was married to a man whose name was Ayan. He had a mother and a sister and I lived my life as other women did,in our place,doing household chores,bathing and bringing water from the river Jamuna, collecting milk from the cows, making curd,cottage cheese,and butter from the milk and going to sell them in the market of the city of Mathura,on the other side of the river Jamuna. So I had to cross the river on a boat with the other women of our community who went to buy and sell. So life went on slowly and smoothly like the flowing waters of the Jamuna. Then one year came the rains. It was raining so hard that it seemed the world was wrapped in layers and layers of water. Jamuna had flooded and washed away our homes and cattle sheds. All of our people ran towards the high place at the end of our village, where there was a hill called Gobardhan. There was a cave in it and we took shelter in it while the rain poured in sheets outside and the water ran in torrents and the sky thundered and flashed lightnings. Other men and women from nearby villages had also taken shelter in the cave. The cave was crowded and dark. The faces in it had fear written on them large. I was shivering wet when I felt a warm touch on my left arm. I looked up and saw beside me a dark man who was looking out of the cave as if trying to assess the situation. He was wearing a yellow cloth wrapped around his waist, and his bare arm was touching me but he was not aware of it. The rain stopped after three more days and we all returned home. Life gradually returned to normalcy but I felt that something had changed. I could not forget the thrill of that warm touch in that rain drenched cave. I could not forget that dark man whose body touched mine. Days went carrying with it many sleepless nights. Then one day towards evening I saw the villagers rushing towards the river Jamuna.My sister in law Kutila came back from her friend's house and gave me the news that the vicious poisonous snake who lived in the river with his mates and often killed cows and men who went to bathe and drink in the river was killed by the son of Nanda and Yashoda of the village Gokul. She touched up her face with some makeup from her box of toiletries and went out to go to the bank of the river where everyone was rushing. I locked the door and followed the crowd to the river bank. The huge black slmy snake was lying dead by the river bank. It was as black as sin. The man who had killed it was standing beside it, his body wet with sweat and water as he had gone deep into the river to kill the venomous snake. Every body was praising him and looking at him with awe and wonder. I had threaded my way through the crowd and was watching the snake bleeding and lying dead on the ground. I lifted my eyes to look at the man who had killed it and my heart skipped it's beat as our eyes met

 He was the man I had met in the cave, and as he smiled my winter turned to sudden Spring. There was flowers blossoming all around,there was fragrance in the air, splashes of colour, gentle breeze and bird song. The young men and women had had met with colours dissolved in pots of water, dry powdered colours and fragrant kumkums. They were throwing colours on one another and there was roars pf laughter and bawdy jokes and ribald songs. I was watching  and listening to them when I felt a strong arm holding me from behind in an embrace and as I turned my face to see , I was smeared in colours. It was that dark man I saw in the cave and standing beside the snake on the bank of river Jamuna. Our eyes were locked for a long time, and then he bent his neck and kissed me on the lips as I melted in his embrace.Then he saw me home. One night as I was lying awake in my bed I heard the sound of a flute. Some one was playing Ahir Bhairavi on the flute. Who was it? I climbed out of my bed and followed the sound which took me to the forest which we had to cross to reach the river. The forest was dark though there was a full moon in the sky. The moon light filtered in through the leaves of the trees in the forest when a breeze blew. I was surprised to find that many girls and women had also come to the forest following the sound of the flute. They were also searching for the player of the flute. After trailing through the forest I came to an open ground. I was struck with wonder as I saw before me a group of women from mine and other villages of herdsmen standing in a full circle holding hands. That dark man with a flute in his hand was dancing and going round the circle, touching and kissing them as they danced and swayed to his tune. At one point he turned his head and saw me. He came running to me held my hand and drew me gently into the charmed circle. His dark body was glistening in the moonlight in that night of late night. The dance went on throughout the night and at the crack of dawn we returned home. Another day when I was going to Mathura to sell milk I saw him with a small boat at the ferry ghat. He ferried me across the river to the other side and when I came back in the evening he brought me back and walked with me to my home.Then one day as I was grazing cows in the green pasture he came running and said "Radha I am going".His eyes were filled with unshed tears."Where?",I asked. "To Mathura." He said and went away as fast as he had come. I did not meet him again.