Amaya was in 4th grade when her parents allowed her to go for a school trip. She had always wanted to go but her Amma refused.
So this time , when Amma said that she is old enough to go with Ashi, Amaya was thrilled to bits.
Little Amaya was so excited for the day that all she could think every waking moment was the trip, she made excellentplansto enjoy it fully.
On the day of the trip , Ashi fell ill and her Amma didn't want Amaya to go alone.
Amaya cried and begged her Amma and Acha until her Acha's heart melted.
'Do you want to go that much? Staying with Acha or going for the trip?' Her Acha had asked.
Amaya's eyes welled up, she loved her Acha very much but she wanted to go to the trip.
Her Acha had realized that too..so he dropped her off at the school even though her Amma strongly refused.
Then she went for the one day trip, without Ashi and was so happy for the entire day. When the group returned to school , parents of all those kids were awaiting except for Amaya's.
She was sad at first , then got scared thinking that they all forgot about her but she kept waiting , till someone, anyone showed up.
At last some neighbors came to take her home, which confused her a lot but she kept quiet. When they reached home, there were a lot of people and she saw her Acha was lying in the floor , covered by a white cloth and there was a lamp beside him. Ashi cried loudly saying that their Acha was gone forever. Amma didn't even look at her.
Amaya stood their like a statue for hours, she felt cold and numb.
She should not have left that morning, she should have stayed and told her Acha that she loved him so much, more than her her stupid school trip, more than everything in the world but little Amaya never got the chance to tell him that and never will.
******************
Amaya was sitting through the review meeting, most of the things were about budget and the soft opening of their new resort, which was located in Chithirapuram.
Even though she was listening all of it, the gnawing feeling in her stomach kept bothering her and she wanted to check on Mili and Advaith. She tried to ignore it for solid 20 minutes.
She would just ask him how they are doing nothing else. Advaith won't think that she is being obsessive, is he?
Nothing about the situation wasn't really normal, so it's ok to check on them.
Ok here we go ,
Amaya chewed on her lower lip as she tapped on the message box.
' Hi, this is Amaya. How things are going there?'
Amaya typed carefully, hoping he would reply right away.
It showed that he had seen the message and it showed that he is typing .
But no response came for the next few minutes. Amaya got frustrated by each passing second, what is he writing that's taking him this much time? Did something happen? Is Mili alright?
She should not have let Mili stay.
She kept refreshing the screen until a reply popped up.
' All OK here'
What?? He took this much time to type just three words? Amaya rolled her eyes and realized she was in a meeting, and it wasn't particularly good time to roll her eyes , so she dragged her fingers to touch her eyes, pretending that something went to her eyes.
Nice Amaya, what are you even doing. She checked her surroundings and made sure nobody was watching her.
She refreshed the message box one more time , hoping another message would come in, but nothing happened .
She had expected a little bit informative reply but looked like she's not going to get any.
Amaya tapped her heels impatiently and
she was completely lost in her thoughts, when another message came through.
It was a photo.
Amaya grinned in releif. It was Mili's picture.
She was smiling, the curly hair adorned her little face and there was a bunch of yellow and pink flowers tucked on her left ear. She looked happy.
Releif washed through her. The photo was perfect, like taken by someone who knows how to take a good one.
Amaya had taken thousands of pictures of Mili over the years, but none of them could beat this one. It was taken in dim light, still the picture was perfect enough to spread a smile on her face.
It has catched the happiness on Mili's face, a little bit of mischief and laughter. The photo was lively and has a soul.
Did Advaith take this one? Probably.
Well, he has an eye for it then. Amaya conceded.
By the time she was able to step out of the meeting , her brain was already fizzled out. Mithila joined her on the desk looking as exhausted as herself.
There wasn't much people in the lobby and the crowd was milling around the dining room.
'Where is Mili?'
Mithila asked while taking a sheet of paper filled with flowers from the table.
' Oh..she could draw now...' she smiled .
Amaya was a little taken aback by the enquiry. Mithila had always liked Mili and asked occasionally about her whereabouts too but what she could see from her reaction right now seeing those drawings was pure love.
' She is with Advaith, they are in the park'
Instead of giving another vague answer, this time Amaya chose to reply properly.
If Mithila was surprised, she didn't show it on her face.
' Oh...better than letting her play in the playing room alone'
Amaya was relieved to hear that , even though she still thought the whole scenario was somewhat strange, Mithila approved her decision to put Mili in his care was kind of helpful to soothe her heart.
' Dinesh will be here in a minute, hm...if you are going to get Mili now, can I tag along with you?
I haven't seen Mili for ages and you guys will go back tomorrow evening. This is my only chance to see her'
Mithila pressed her lips into a thin line, waiting for Amaya's response.
Mithila is a good person , they have been roommates for a few months and she knows her life story more than anyone around here. If she wants to see Mili, it's a good thing right?
Mili should know more people who adore her, right?
Amaya nodded in agreement.
As Dinesh, the night shift guy , who was in the desk during their meeting, came back after 10 minutes of refreshment, Mithila and Amaya set out towards the park.
Since it was the weekend, most of the rooms were occupied by families and a bunch of college students from another state. They were enjoying the weather and the view for quite sometime and it seemed like they were planning to have a campfire near the park.
There has a place built especially for campfire, and students were gathering around there. The sky was clear with stars embroidered all over it , it was beautiful. The atmosphere was quite lively. Someone was strumming a guitar and crooning some old songs which was vaguely familiar to Amaya. It was that kind of evening, where you would enjoy happiness, friendship and lots of warm coffee and chocolate.
They found Mili and Advaith close to the campfire, enjoying the evening and all the chaos happening around them. Mili giggled and almost fell out of the bench where they were sitting and Advaith laughed too.
It looked like they were having fun and laughing over something silly.
Amaya wanted to know what they were talking, so badly. How could he make her laugh like this when they have met barely a few hours ago?What made Mili so happy that she almost fell down from the bench?
Probably something really random like when will dinosaurs come back or why there are pink flowers in a plant when the plant itself is green.
Mili would surprise you with all kinds of questions that could potentially lead you to existential crisis. But for now , Advaith was able to handle them or at least he was good at dodging them. It seemed so.
Even though her curiosity was nudging her to go to them immediately, she wanted to stay away for a few more minutes, because watching them bonding with each other
was so warm and infectious that a smile tugged on her lips too.
Mili had a bunch of flowers in her hand and a few tucked on her ears exactly like in that photo but what surprised her was there were a few flowers tucked on Advaith's ears too.
Mostly people get awkward by doing something obnoxious like that but he seemed to volunteered to do it with Mili.
He had his one hand resting over Mili's shoulder gently, like a mother hen tucking her kids inside her wing, as her little frame hid in the crook of his arm.
If only Mili had a dad , who wasn't an irresponsible asshole like her real one, she would have been able to share such a lovely relationship with him.
Life wasn't fair with Mili or with anyone for that matter.
' He is really good at babysitting , you hired a professional'
Mithila murmured.
' Are you sure he is a writer?' She nudged her shoulder playfully.
She can't blame Mithila, He was a natural, who knows what else is there which he mastered over the years of his disappearance from public eyes.
They haven't noticed her or Mithila for that matter and they were comfortably talking among themselves.
Amaya didn't want to interrupt them , however Advaith noticed them first, then Mili and she
ran to her arms right away...
' We had so much fun Ammu so I didn't miss you at all...' she chimed in.
' Not even for a second?' She poked Mili's cheeks faking a hurtful expression.
' A little bit...maybe? Don't be sad Ammu...we will go for picnic together without Adhi and will have so much fun' she replied conspicuously.
Amaya laughed.
'If you say so bubs...sure'
Amaya had no idea what picnic was she referring to. Hoping it's not about jumping in a river or hiking a mountain to see moon closely , she would be fine.
' Hi Mili...do you remember me?' Mithila smiled at Mili.
Mili's eyes crinkled with recognition.
' Mithu
...'
Amaya was a little bit surprised that Mili had recognized her right away since they had only met twice in the past.
' Aww...you are all grown up ...big girl Mili'
' Thank you Mithu...' Mili giggled covering her mouth. She got shy on this big girl reference.
where is my lollipop?'
Mili tugged on Mithila's sleeves.
Amaya looked at both of them one after another.
' Oh....so there's a lollipop connection?'
'Of course there's ' Mithila popped out one lollipop from her pant pocket like a genie.
Mithila made time and effort to buy them for Mili and here Amaya wasn't even being honest with Mithila.
She felt guilty again, for all the times she wasn't that caring towards Mithila.
' Hey' Advaith greeted brightly. Looked like Mili hasn't tired him out yet.
' Hi..' Amaya faltered a little. ' I hope Mili didn't trouble you much?'
' Not at all... I had a wonderful time. She is such a sweet child Amaya. I don't remember when was the last time that I laughed this much. Thank you for trusting me with her.' Their was such sincerity in his words, her cheeks burned.
' No , I should be the one to say thank you. You were a great help' Amaya rubbed her cheeks hoping she was not turning red by each passing second.
They need a change of subject and Amaya turned towards Mithila.
' This is Mithila ' Amaya pointed towards her, trying to give them a proper introduction.
' Your friend, we have met before ' he replied and nodded to Mithila.
Amaya took a moment to register those words.
Even Advaith had seen them as friends, maybe it's just her who has not yet given their relationship the much needed recognition of friendship rather than
acquaintances. Amaya nibbled on her lip, contemplating why she is so scared of letting people into her life. She had only read about people creating walls around them in fictions. Maybe, she is one among them, is she? A sigh escaped her lips.
The campfire was going on full swing by now. The students had settled and the laughter, music , food being circulated and shared among them ... everything was perfect at that moment. The boy who was sitting in the middle was singing an English song which she couldn't recognize at all. Mili who was clinging on her side like a little monkey, started whining for another lollipop.
' Mithu...can you please give me one more lollipop? Actually two?'
She was making this adorable puppy face , with her big eyes and little pouty lips.
Mithila laughed.
' You can't eat a lot of them Mili...germs will attack your teeth at night' she was mimicking a TV commercial with expertise.
' Not for me Mithu...for Ammu and Adhi. Maybe you could eat one too. ' she added thoughtfully.
Mithila had got a few more in her pocket and she generously shared it with them. Mili insisted that they all should eat right away, since they are friends , just like the students gathered right behind them.
Since they didn't want to disappoint mili all agreed and started licking lollipops much to Mili's pleasure.
Even though it was a little bit silly, Amaya knew herself relaxing . There was something sweet and comforting being around them. She felt a sense of belonging for the first time in a while.
While they stood there, savoring the sour candy , enjoying the music and laugher around them , Amaya was at ease with herself. She thought it's like a bubble , a bunch of people who were ready to accept her just like that and she doesn't have to worry about fit into the group.
Amaya thanked him again and about to take their leaves when Mili decided to have a chitchat with Advaith again. They said something to each other on their ears and looked at Amaya and smiled and gave thumbs up to each other.
Mithila raised her eyebrows at Amaya who was as clueless as a potato, gave a wide eye and shrug implying that she had no idea what is going on there.
Mithila's husband, Roni was waiting when they came back. Mithila hurried to leave but not before giving Mili a quick hug and telling Amaya to update her about Mili and Advaith's secret deal.
Amaya tried to forget all about it while feeding Mili and cleaning Charlie's cage and feeding him. As soon as Amaya fed Charlie, Mili picked him up with her little hands and she struggled to keep him in place considering he was big enough.
' Ammu , let's go for picnic' Mili smiled at a totally confused Amaya.
' Picnic? Now?' Charlie also looked terrified about the prospect of going out for a picnic this late, probably he was afraid that Mili is going to drop him in any second, which was true to certain levels.
' Bubs, it's too late...can't we go tomorrow? We could go somewhere nice?' Amaya tried to cajole her.
' Ammu...we are going to see washroom..that's our first picnic spot. Then we will go to kitchen, then we will visit your bed. That's it. Adhi told me that we could go to picnic anywhere as long as we do it together and enjoy it..'
Sure, he has a point. Since she had no other options to bail out, Amay joined the picnic and they went to the washroom and showed Charlie around. Mili was very precise about showing everything in the washroom including towels and shampoo bottles and water flowing from the tap.
They went all around their tiny apartment and had Amaya's home made cookies too . Finally Mili's energy ran out, she was sleepy. So like Amaya had promised before, she read her few pages of Alice in wonderland and then a few pages of Aladdin too, until she was fast asleep. Amaya tucked her in and kissed her plumpy cheeks saying good night. Amaya stayed there looking at sleeping little Mili. She wanted to cherish these little moments where she is still a little girl, unaware of all the troubles in the world. Amaya wanted to protect Mili from everything that could hurt her or affect her. However, there's so much she can do when they are unsure about their future.
Amaya was planning to go back to her home with Mili by Sunday evening and she hoped she could come back by night. Staying with her Amma for an entire night is an actual nightmare. Sigh....she wondered why she is so scared of her own family. Everyone loves their family, at least most of them do. Then there was Amaya , who actually wants to ran away from her home as soon as possible and migrate to Canada, put a lot of distance between herself and her Amma.
She turned of the lights in kitchen. Checked the doors and windows for safety.
Finally her sleepless previous night was catching up to her . She yawned as she climbed to her bed , beside Mili.
Amaya was about to forget about the secret deal between Mili and Advaith when her phone chimed with a new message and it was from Adhvaith, the least expected person to message her, that too a voice note.
She frowned. Amaya found all her interactions with Advaith so far , odd .
There's something so endearing about him that Amaya wanted to know more about him and let herself relax a bit , at the same time she wanted to run away in the opposite direction from him. Her thoughts are contradicting in itself.
If she let herself entertain with all the stupid things that her mind tells her, she could end up in a lot of trouble...like she hasn't enough in her plate already.
She searched for her earphones in the side drawer until found it in a messy knot like always.
She was still frowning when she connected it to her phone and clicked on the voice message.
' Hi Amaya,'
Amaya yanked out her earphones quickly. She wasn't ready to listen to his voice this closely. Why can't he text ? Why a voice note ?!! She shook her head in frustration.
He has a really nice voice, low, slightly breathy and Amaya disagreed to like it.
Amaya took deep deep breaths until she believed she could deal with a voice note. Then she plugged in the earphones and clicked on the message, this time prepared.
Hi Amaya,
sorry for sending you message this late. I didn't realize that it was this late until I picked up my phone.
Mili told me that you guys are going back tomorrow and it's your day off too. If it's okay with you, will you two come for lunch with me? I promised Mili that we will play together and eat lunch too.'
He paused for a bit , like he was thinking while talking. Amaya bit her lip, this was really weird to picture him in her head how he was talking to her.
'I am sorry, I know that I should have asked you first but you know Mili, I couldn't refuse her and I really would love to see her before she leaves.
Will you think about it and let me know?
Sorry again and have a good night. '
Oh...so this was their secret deal...convincing me for another meet up.
Amaya stared on the screen and thought hard.
' It's not a big deal...right? Mili likes him and this time she is not asking for a favor and most importantly Mili would love to go. They could go to his room around noon and let them play and eat together and leave as soon as possible. Mili deserves all the happiness and this is something Amaya could do .
Once she decided and convinced herself that it's not really about her and it's about Mili's happiness, that they will go there, she wanted to text him right away but backed out in the last moment.
It's pretty late . She could text him in the morning.
Amaya slept peacefully that night, maybe Mili being beside her helped. She was deep in sleep when her phone started ringing. At first she tried to ignore it but it kept ringing therefore she reached out towards it and pressed the answer button without even checking who was the caller.
' Good morning Amaya...' Mithila was too chipper for a morning call.
' Good morning, why are you calling me this early?'
' Early? It's already eight . I am going out with Roni's family. I just wanted to check whether you have found out what deal they made between Mili an Advaith?'
She sounded excited about the whole thing while Amaya scratched her head.
' Oh that?? He messaged me last night asking whether we could join him for lunch? He wants to see Mili before she leaves '
' Aww ..that's so sweet. What did you reply?'
Amaya could feel the excitement in Mithila's voice.
' I didn't reply yet'
' What ? Seriously Amaya?'
' It was late and I thought I would reply in the morning ' Amaya replied defensively.
' Hm...but you guys are going right?'
' yeah....I figured Mili would love it.
We would go and come back quickly. '
' You could take your time Amaya, you like him too..and he seems to be a pretty decent guy ' there was a hint of smile in her voice. Amaya clutched her phone tightly.
' It's just for Mili. I don't want to make any misunderstanding with the management. I am not working for him , not a personal assistant or anything. People will talk useless things if I keep going there without any reason ' she conceded.
This was the first time that she openly admitted about her fear. She is a staff and she should stick with her duties only , stepping out of it will make her the center of gossip in their work place which is unpleasant. It has been their in the back of her mind till now, saying it out aloud, she had confirmed herself that she's utterly confused and scared about the situation.
' why are you thinking that far Amaya?
People will talk no matter what, it should not be bothering you when you are just being attentive towards him.
Please go there and have a good time. Don't worry too much about hypothetical situations in your head...'
' I will try ' Amaya smiled. It was a good feeling to talk to someone about these things. Mithila was right maybe. She could just go and relax a bit.
' Wear something nice okay ? It's almost a date '
' what ?' Amaya's jaw dropped.
Mithila giggled...' I know that's stretching it too far but come on wear something nice for my sake...
I have to go now...go text him and get ready. Squishy hugs from me to mili...bye'
Mithila was gone before Amaya could conjure a proper response.
' What nonsense was that' she muttered and smiled nonetheless.
Amaya texted him right away that they will be there for lunch.
A quick thank you text came through making her guilty that he was waiting for her reply probably.
Amaya tried not to press herself about her attire or appearance.
Even though, she found herself trying three outfits back to back and settling with an old lilac colored top and white skirt.
Mili was excited about meeting Adhi today, that's why Amaya decided to kick all the useless worries to the back of her mind. She would think through it later ,sure. For now, she just wanted to be with Mili .
' Ammu...do you know hippopotamus has pink milk?'
She asked while Amaya was combing her hair.
' I don't know....who told you that?'
'Adhi' she replied covering her mouth slightly, like it's a secret she's sharing.
' Then do you know that Otters have skin pockets for their favorite stones?'
Really Mili? You were talking all these with him??
' Yes...he is the best Ammu....he knows a lot of things and even knows Masha and bear game...we will play today'
She brightened up with all the excitement.
Mili was impatient to wait till lunch time , so they ended up going earlier than required.
That means, they could return earlier too and leave earlier too. All in all , it was going to be okay, Amaya consoled herself.
Mili insisted that they should take Charlie along with them since he will be bored to stay at home alone..poor thing.
. So that's how they had ended up earlier than expected at Advaith's suite. Amaya pressed the bell and waited patiently, while going through her Instagram profile where she scribbled her thoughts but kept it as a private account.
Nobody followed her and vice versa, it's just like an archive. When will she be courageous enough to make her account public? She was scared about someone reading them but equally hopeful that someone would like it maybe? She could at least share it with Mithila? Maybe she would be able to give her a little feedback? She considered it for several moments and made a mental note to show Mithila.
Mili engaged herself and Charlie by exploring the little garden in front of the patio, when they lost interest in that, which took more than a minute only, Mili headed towards the side of the suite, where the private pool was located.
Amaya didn't noticed their absence at first but when she realized , she ran to the other side.
Mili and water , Amaya panicked.
She rushed towards the pool area of the building.
Mili was letting out Charlie out of his bag and they were settling in the edge of the pool, unaware of Amaya's fear. Mili dangled her legs in the water, she looked happy and blissful.
Amaya stopped for a second just to look at the peaceful view infront of her . Mili and Charlie ,beside a pool, eyes casted over the plantation under the canopy. It was breathtakingly beautiful. But Mili is so small and sitting at the edge of rimless pool, panic shot through her. Amaya fastened her strides, she wanted to call Mili but her throat closed up. She just wanted to reach Mili and pull her up from there, nothing else mattered at that moment.
She was walking too fast and someone opened the side door and stepped out walked towards her
Before she could register what was happening, she pushed that someone out of her way, exactly into the pool. Mili stood up and doubled over with laughter.
' Mili ...are you alright? How many times I have told you that not to go to the pool without me? Don't do that to me Mili'
Amaya closed her eyes and took a deep breath to collect herself. She can't shout at this little girl whom she adored .
' I am alright Ammu ..pavam Adhi.
Why did you push him into the water Ammu? Did he do something wrong?'
Her little cute eyes widened with concern.
That's when Amaya realized that she had pushed someone into the pool and it's none other than Advaith, who was gaping at her in shock right then.
' Can't believe that you did this to me' he pointed himself and the pool .
Amaya flushed . She was shocked as well.
' I can't believe either...' she shook her head in disbelief .
Despite of the awkward situation, Mili laughed in the corner and Charlie looked totally bored.
' I am really really sorry...don't know what happens to me at times. I was just scared that something will happen to mili. I didn't notice that you were here' Her voice squeaked a little. I got scared and this happened. She pointed towards the general direction of pool, refusing to meet his eyes .
Amaya wanted to die out of embarrassment. This is a first in her life and career that she keep doing something unpredictable and unprofessional. How could she do this now? Where was her brain and better judgment or was she this bad from the beginning to start with. All the thoughts clouded her mind and she was sure her eyes were welling up now.
' Look Adhi...Ammu is going to cry.' Mili was beside her ,studying her face unsure.
Amaya bit her lip down and blinked back the tears .
' I am not bubs...don't worry ' Amaya lowered herself and looked at Mili, gently patted her cheeks.
' But you are biting your lips and doing this blinking. Remember once you told me that when Ammamma scolds you, you always do this? '
Amaya was baffled to know that Mili remembered every tiny little things she had said before. She didn't want to lie to her but she couldn't tell her everything exactly either. So she tried again,
' That was long ago and Ammamma was scolding me then. Look, Adhi is not scolding me right? I am pretty sure that he is happy to take a dip in the pool right now.??'
She just wanted to change the topic and herself from all the emotional stuff.
Mili was thinking really hard when Advaith climbed out of the pool, his clothes clinging to his body, hair a wet mess.
' Ammu is right. I really enjoyed being in the pool. Anyway I was about to take a shower after all the cooking. You guys came early ' he said looking at Mili who gave him a goofy grin.
' You cooked? I thought we were going to eat the delivered meal?'
Amaya was yet to understand the clause of the deal.
' Oh...it's nothing, Mili told me that you can't cook and she wanted to eat something yummy and don'tworryabout all these...I am not upset.' He gave her a reassuring nod.
' Oh?' Amaya was baffled. Mili had already spilled the beans about her cooking skill. She and her Amma was alike in that case only. Both of them can't cook a proper meal for heaven sake. No wonder Mili hadn't asked her to cook something special for her .
' Sorry for not asking you beforehand and thank you for coming.' He smiled. Water was still dripping from his hair and that smile was dazzling one, with that lone dimple making an appearance.
Amaya held her breath for a moment , she bit down the urge to poke his lone dimple and crossed her arms infront of her .
' This is better' she thought to herself.
This was the moment when writers wrote that sparks were flying in the air..woah. She chewed on her inner cheeks not to smile at that moment.
'Come inside , I will quickly join you guys'
Mili ran inside without a care in the world. Amaya stood awkwardly at the door.
Advaith had left already to change , so Amaya took her time to study the room.
It's the same exact suite she had seen , countless times in the past. The air was filled with the aroma of freshly cooked food. There was nothing interesting and he seemed pretty organized.
Mili was already knocking on his bedroom door ,as she was so impatient.
When he came out, they immediately started to play Masha and bear games on his tab.
Amaya picked up a book from the table and pretended reading.
The game was about cooking some porridge and feeding into her friends and washing dishes.
They seem to enjoy the game a lot.
She gladly watched them giggle and bantering over something.
Amaya was hungry by the time they agreed to stop the game and eat.
' Ammu...can I take Charlie out and feed him ? He must be hungry...paavam' Mili suggested thoughtfully.
Amaya helped Mili to take Charlie out of his carrier bag and feed him.
Then she headed to the kitchen area holding a small jar filled with her special cookies. She can't cook but her cookies were good , at least that was what she have been told.
She put the jar carefully on the table, hoping he would like them.
' Need some help?' Amaya asked while searching the table.
' Nothing ... I am just warming the food . It will be ready in a minute '
' Okay'
She wanted to make some small talk but hesitated to ask anything. So she stood awkwardy, try not to stare at him which she was failing miserably by each passing second.
' Amaya , I have something to ask you. '
She almost jumped by his voice, realizing that she was almost staring. She crossed her arms together, ready to hear him out.
' Can I just tag along with you today?'
The question was really simple yet Amaya found it really hard to answer.
She doesn't want to answer right away but how earnestly he had asked , she couldn't deny such a request.
She wanted to write down the pros and cons and make a decision like she always did , nevertheless she found herself saying yes to this sudden request .
Big big sigh for kind and cute guys with lone dimple, Amaya wanted to pull her hair out. She had set herself up for this...sigh!!!!
