Expanding on our previous discussion regarding solutions to challenges in married life, let's continue exploring this topic in greater detail.
Try to weld, not wedge
A conversation with our partner on the clash helps, but many times the intellect and the ego do not allow us to do that, to a point where we do not even like talking to our partner on any matter whatsoever. This is because of the wall of opinions that stands in between. We can break that wall with introspection!
Whenever a clash happens, analyze ‘where did I go wrong?’
What did I do to instigate my partner to anger?
The way I behaved with my spouse, would I have liked if my spouse behaved with me that way?
Where all did I behave rudely with my partner?
And say, we are unable to get the answers; and, if our spouse is an understanding one, we can heartily approach him / her and discuss, ‘Can you tell me, how I have made a mistake. I cannot figure it out, will you please help me?’
When we develop the art of finding out and accepting our mistakes in every clash, we are able to resolve clashes very rapidly. By seeing our faults and rectifying them, we are trying to make the relationship, and by seeing the faults of our spouse and placing the blame on him / her, we set out to break the relationship. The choice is ours…
Cleaning the clash asap
Always remember to clean the clash as soon as possible, or else gradually, opinions begin to form, after which negativity creeps in, and going ahead a separating feeling starts developing.
How to clean the clash?
Repent within, heartily and earnestly, for all your mistakes that directly or indirectly caused the clash.
Resolve, ‘I do not want to get into any clash hereafter.’
Yet clashes may happen again. Do not worry! Just continue to clean the clash in the manner stated above, and you will win over all the clashes one day!
If our mind is separating from our partner…
With whom are we trying to create separation? With our life-partner, our beloved soulmate?!
Here again,
Resolve that ‘I don’t want any separation to occur between us.’
Recall every event which is responsible for such feeling to separate, and repent heartily for each instance of conflict. Sit for an hour or two and repent until you feel lighter. Maintain this practice until your inner hurt is healed completely.
Forgive your partner with the understanding that ‘whatever he / she did is due to pressure of the circumstances.’
If we have resolved that:
I do not want to get into any clash, and
If I do get into a clash, then I do not want to create any separation,
doing repentance with these two resolves will prove very fruitful.
We will no more have any feeling of separation with our partner and the clashes too will reduce.
No fun without trust in a relationship
Trust is the soul of every relationship. Without trust, every word is misunderstood and with trust, even silence is understood. Our cent percent loyalty to our spouse with the mind, speech and body is predominantly the prerogative of our spouse. We must never indulge into any activity that deceives our partner, and breaches his / her faith in us.
Thus, adopting and harnessing the right understanding, by Gnani, the Enlightened One, into our life will automatically do away with the reasons, that are responsible for marital problems, at large. And if you think it is still not working out, do not fear. Visit the Living Gnani on a priority!! He can help you get your married life back on track. All the best. Wishing you a happy and problem-free married life!
