CHAPTER-28
GOODBYE
Chapter Highlights…
“Naomi, get out of my class”, Akshat ordered. I threw my mouth open. I shrugged as he wrote a bunch of key terms in block letters on the whiteboard fixed beside the projector’s screen. Ruhi didn’t skip the opportunity to turn back and leave a wicked smile. The three musketeers checked me out and giggled among themselves.
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Naomi’s POV
“Shut up, Naomi!”
It was the first time that Akshat had raised his voice at me.
“Sir, why?...”
My eyeballs rolled hither and thither. There wasn’t a word I could utter.
“All these days, you denied that you loved me.” He waved his right hand downward. He continued, “Fine, it's totally fine! It was at least bearable. But, your recent act wasn’t fair.” He pressed my shoulders hard, concluding, “You are bad, Naomi. You are very bad.”
I wiped my tears but continued sobbing like a waterfall. “Sir, wait…what?...”
“Wait. I’m not yet done”, said he, breathing hard and displaying his palm at me.
“Are you an infant to not understand what I am talking about or are you pretending to be one?”
Hardly did I have a clue about the reason behind his wrath erupting like that of an active volcano. I merely shook my head. He leaned forward and faked a smile.
“I can’t believe that this is your dirty truth. So, finally, you made fun of my true love. Am I right?”, he roared. I began walking backward as he began stepping forward. I stopped as soon as my back hit the wall. He pushed his right hand upon the concrete backrest.
“No way, sir. I can never dream of committing such a crime. I know how much it hurts when one of my friends fell prey to a cunning classmate who pranked her with her own boyfriend. But, retribution never leaves the wrongdoer unpunished. She is suffering all alone today….”
“So bad of you, Naomi”, he interrupted me. He rested my cheeks in his cozy palms. He breathed hard.
“One is free to mock anything but not at delicate emotional matters including family, friendship, and especially true love. You never stopped emphasizing that you couldn’t love me. Guru Devo Bhava! Fine! I respect your policy but before giving yourself space to read your own heart and make a wise decision, you have hastened to make a foolish decision. You weren’t cheating on me, Naomi. Instead, you were cheating..”
He pressed his right index finger on my chest. “You were cheating yourself by forcibly dating another guy…”
“Please stop it, sir”, said I, resting my hands on his chest and pushing him a handful of feet away. I had, at last, discovered that he was jealous. It was a typical lover’s jealousy. Aww, Akshat sir! He looked very cute although he was angry.
“Why don’t you let me speak? He is my senior. We aren’t dating. It was he who demanded a treat…”
“I see. So, a guy is expressing interest in you by pulling you out for a cock and crew reason. You too gave in thereby reciprocating his interest…”
“No, Kiku. Not at all. He is such a creep.”
“Oh, really? If that was the case, why did you agree to meet him in the first place?”
“Sir, that was because he is a senior. I didn’t want to cause trouble. I just intended to meet him once and screw him in his face. That's it. What was the big deal?...”
“Enough, Naomi!”, he yelled. I hissed and looked around to spot a few students with their IDs of orange-colored tags, shrugging and smiling at us. I turned back to press Akshat’s right palm. I bulged my eyes and shook my head.
“Sir, please talk slowly. Look, you are overthinking right now. I haven’t done anything to upset you, Kiku. Seems like you have misunderstood me.”
I pressed his palm harder as he attempted to talk. “Let me finish. I am not dating him. I agreed to meet just to warn him and nothing else. I hope I clarified…”
He released his hand from mine. He shrugged at the students watching us as if we were performing a street play. The nosy gang left, leaving us alone.
“Naomi, do you know why you have always been lonely throughout your life? It's because you take people for granted…” At this, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I covered my face with both palms and wept my heart out.
“Sir, this is getting too much now.… Please listen to me. I can’t love you. That's one thing. But, at the same time, I can’t hurt you. Trust me, Kiku. I haven’t done anything that's running in your mind.”
“You can fool me but my eyes can’t. I saw you with him. Goodbye!”, he completed, joining his hands along, at me.
Love is so blind that it just happens unexpectedly.
You may fall for anyone!
Would you let go of your policy if you fell for someone you shouldn't? What would you choose-your policy or your beloved?
“Goodbye!”-this word wasn’t like any other word to me. When he uttered it, I stood like a frozen castle. Neither could I inhale nor exhale. Someone whom I thought would always be by my side, no matter what happens, was leaving my life. I broke down to kneel on the ground. I couldn’t gather the courage to look up and see him walking away angrily.
A little red velvet box fell in front of me. “Sir, I knew that you won’t leave me. Akshat sir, I lo..”, said I, breathing hard. I blushed and lifted my head up to find him closing his fist and sobbing at me. I stood up and was about to hug him. He pushed me back.
“Kiku”, I trembled. Wait, what was I about to tell him? Was I about to propose? Naomi, have you lost it once again? You just can’t love him.
“This is my last gift for my first and last love. Congrats, topper!”, said he, smiling hard. “I wanted to surprise you but what a twist! You surprised me, in turn!” I bent and grabbed the cute little gift from the gentleman.
“Kiku, please don’t desert me like that”, said I, catching hold of his hand. He moved to release his hand. I shook my head. “Thanks for your gift. You are very sweet, Akshat sir. But, think about it. Am I so desperate to get into the typical immature girlfriend-boyfriend relationships that I would go to date a guy? Why would I, when I have you…?”
He turned to shrink his eyes at me. He managed to escape his hand. He walked away. I closed my eyes. I leaned on the wall behind me. I experienced a strange pain in my heart. I’m sorry, Kiku. I never considered that every action of mine would impact you in some or the other way. I opened the gift wrapper.
I smiled, massaging the shiny red top surface. I blushed at the golden bracelet having ‘Good job!’ inscribed, in white color and in a cursive fashion. There was also a tiny chain-like hanging between the two words. I kissed it. “Akshat sir, please return. I want you. Don’t ask me why, for, your purpose in my life is beyond my level of understanding. I can’t and will never let you go, Kiku.”
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“Good morning sir!”, the entire class wished him. Akshat walked with a wide smile. I looked around to note the chime on the faces of my classmates; it seemed as if they were excited about a new lecturer’s first class. The early summer’s Sun lost it in front of the collective human chime. But, I could feel that the chime on my face was different than usual, that morning.
“Aww! How do you make every one of us love you so much, Akshat sir? Hmmm”, thought I, chuckling at the bracelet he had gifted. I wore it along my left wrist. I blushed, as I rotated it. What did you think? I would just weep and sit in a corner if Akshat decided to go away like that. No way! He was the first man who gifted me. None have ever and can ever love me like him. I won’t let Kiku go from my life.
He bulged his eyes seeing me back on the third bench with my friends. He sighed. No, you can’t stop observing even trial things about me even if you wanted to. Oh, Akshat! Come on, don’t pretend now. You love me. I shrugged and chuckled to myself, seeing him ignore establishing an eye-contact with me, during his lecture. I didn’t take my eyes off him. Sometimes, I rested my chin on the desk or on my left hand.
My eyes smiled at him as I made notes along. I was looking at the projected slide, then at him, and finally at my notes. I looked at him for longer than the other two sources of attention. My eyes were on him while my right hand was on my notes. I felt my pupils dilating and my cheeks turning rosier as he spoke without a break, sometimes looking at his own notes, the textbook, or the slide behind him.
“Guys, the fourth semester, being an even semester, is short with a heavier syllabus. You should study regularly otherwise it will be hard as we near the exams”, he announced, closing his textbook and placing it on the table. He leaned on the table behind him and folded his hands. He smiled, looking from the extreme left corner to the extreme right corner of the classroom, continuing to ignore me.
Urgh! Why are you doing this to me, Akshat sir? Not fair. He gestured a thumbs-up sign at Karan who pouted at his words.
“Cool. Don’t worry while I’m here. Public International Law is an interesting subject. I will make it easy for you as well. All good?”
Karan nodded and whistled. Akshat chuckled at the others clapping and cheering for him. Rohan stood up from the last bench. “You are here. So, my degree is here. Thank you, sir!”
I blushed, rephrasing his words, “Kiku, you are here. Thus, my life is here….”
Vyomi dashed my shoulder. But, I had only whistled. I blushed and looked back at Akshat. He happened to look at me. Yes! At last, I managed to win his eye contact after our fight last evening. Before he stopped frowning, I lifted my left hand and displayed the bracelet. I blushed and lip-sang ‘Thank you, Kiku’. He smiled at the bracelet but returned frowning at me. I made a sad puppy face; he wanted to blush but forced himself not to, as he bit his lips and looked away.
“Naomi, get out of my class”, he ordered. I threw my mouth open. I shrugged as he wrote a bunch of key terms in block letters on the whiteboard fixed beside the projector’s screen. Ruhi didn’t skip the opportunity to turn back and leave a wicked smile. The three musketeers checked me out and giggled among themselves.
“Dude, what did I just hear?”, Vyomi hurried in my ears. She patted my shoulders while Tanvi and Diya asked me if anything happened between Akshat and me. When they enquired to my bestie, she claimed, “Dude, I can neither believe what my ears just heard nor my eyes bulging at Akshat sir frowning at Naomi and pointing at the door.”
“Naomi, should I repeat? Go”, he said. I stood up from my seat, gazed at the floor, as I concealed my tears and headed towards the door. The three musketeers burst out a round of laughter. To not mention, Tina brayed her heart out, this time good enough to let out tears of laughter. My other classmates including my own gang wondered at Akshat’s sudden rude attitude towards me.
“Sir!”, called Karan. He raised his hand. I stood by the wall and gestured for him to stay quiet.
“Doubt already?”, asked Akshat, encouraging him to proceed.
“No, sir. Me and doubts? No way, but, being in a law class, I want to seek justice for my friend. Why did you kick her outside?...”
“Look, she wasn’t concentrating in my class”, Akshat justified. He turned at me to swallow his heart-wrenching pain. “I wonder what students who aren’t serious about studies will ever be serious about. I just motivated you guys but she…”
“Sorry for everything, sir. Although I don’t know where I went wrong, I apologize. Sorry once again!”
“Sorry isn’t the solution”, he argued. I wiped my tears. I diverted myself by folding and placing my notes on the wall. I continued taking notes as he resumed his lecture. Twice, when he happened to maintain short eye contact lasting for not longer than a dozen seconds, I winked at him first with my left eye then my right. He sighed aloud and swallowed his timidness.
However, a matter of certainty was that despite his temper, my place in his heart still prevailed. Bravo! Akshat sir loves me. That's why he was and is angry at me. Now, it's my turn, sir. Aww! I have never been this close to a guy ever before.
The bell rang aloud. I closed my notes and shrank my eyes at him waving at the class which bid him adieu, for a while, with joyful cheers, as usual, except that Karan was upset.
“Guys, before I leave, I want a volunteer to help me collect your assignment. I will be circulating one next week.” At once, Ruhi raised her hand. He denied that he didn’t want to shoulder all the burden on the class representative and that he wanted someone else, for a change. I nodded at his new approach to thoughts. He is unique.
“Sir!”, I exclaimed. He turned to face me. “Shall I please do it, sir? I have always wanted to volunteer and cultivate my soft skills. Please…”, I requested, shrinking my eyes along. He smiled without his knowledge. That's when I realized how love is beyond our own control. Our good old debate of self-control-I had lost my point, seeing him lose it.
“Thank you very much, sir!”, I thanked him, as he nodded. He headed with his laptop and books to leave our classroom. As I walked along with him, he informed me that he would mail the details. I blushed at his beard which had grown a little thicker, all of a sudden. How come? Urgh! Naomi, attention to detail. Focus on the assignment. Why are you pulling me closer although I don’t want to, Kiku?
“I hope you got it”, said he, gulping a mouth of drinking water. He sat back on his seat in the staffroom.
“Yes sir. I will revert to you in case of doubts.”
“Nois(Nice)!”, he complimented, without a smile. He wasn’t even looking at me when I asked him if I could leave. He pretended to flip the book’s pages.
“Kiku, that's all? Shall I leave?...”
“Of course.”
“Kiku, don’t do this to me. I can’t digest the fact that you are ignoring me so badly. How can you wrong me if some random guy flirts with me?...”
He got up from his seat. He leaned forward while I moved my head a little back.
“I don’t prefer to discuss non-academic matters with students”, said he, breathing hard into my eyes. “And, only those close to me have the right to address me by my pet name. You have lost the special status you once had in my heart.” He hurried towards the entrance.
“Kiku! Kiku! Kiku!”, I emphasized. He turned back only to frown at me for the umpteenth time that day-the first day after our first fight. This time, I too frowned at him. I stumbled at the doorstep.
“Kiku!”, he exclaimed, wrapping me in his cozy arms, right on time. I blushed at his eyes, anxious if I was fine. I felt his sudden concern despite his striving to maintain his rage.
It is true that actions speak louder than words. When love is the subject, words are often opposite to external gestures. For instance, someone staying silent when you propose to them and then, just after a moment, speaking out to reject you may actually mean something else. My example doesn’t even relate to the current situation in the story but I wrote the line from what I felt, as the author and not as Naomi. Pardon me for diverting!
Akshat released me to stand erect. We couldn’t take our eyes off each other.
“Careful. I won’t catch you the next time”, said he, walking away.
“Aww! No worries, Kiku. I’m sure our next catch moment will arrive soon”, I grumbled purposely so that he could hear. He shrugged at me and hurried downstairs. I chuckled and blushed to myself.
Will Naomi manage to reassure Akshat?
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