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PARADOX
A paradox is a statement that may seem absurd or
contradictory but yet can be true, or at least makes sense. Paradoxes are often contrary to what is commonly believed
and so play an important part in furthering our understanding
in literature and everyday life, or they can simply be an
entertaining brain teaser. Paradox is a statement or a
group of statements, oxymoron is a combination of
two contradictory terms. Paradox is apparently a true
statement that leads to a situation that defies intuition.
In simple words, Paradox is considered to be an action
that is contradictory and oxymoron is a description of a
phrase, which is contradictory
Examples of Paradoxes:
1.You can save money by spending it.
2.I know one thing; that I know nothing.
3.This is the beginning of the end.
4.Deep down, you’re really shallow.
5.I’m a compulsive liar.
6.“Men work together whether they work together or
apart.” - Robert Frost
7.“I can resist anything but temptation.” - Oscar Wilde
8.Here are the rules: Ignore all rules.
9.The second sentence is false. The first sentence is true.
10.I only message those who do not message.
11.I must be cruel to be kind.
12.His words were pretty ugly and hurt her feelings.
13.Your enemy’s friend is your enemy.
14.I am nobody.
15.What a pity that youth must be wasted on the young. –
George Bernard Shaw.
16.Wise fool.
17.Truth is honey which is bitter.
18.I always lie about lying”
19.Nobody goes to that restaurant; it’s too crowded.
20.Don’t go near the water until you have learned how
to swim.
21.The man who wrote such a stupid sentence cannot
write at all.
22.If you get this message, call me, and if you don’t get it,
don’t call.
23.If the temperature this morning is 0 degrees and the
Weather Channel says, “it will be twice as cold tomorrow”,
what will the temperature be?
24.This statement is a lie.
25.A time traveller goes back in time and murders his own
great-grandfather.
26.I close my eyes so I can see.
27.A group of anti-war protesters surrounded by soldiers who
are pointing rifles at them, with one man out of the crowd
placing flowers in the barrel of each gun.
28.Can you deliver... that which is not delivery???
29. Although not all numbers are square numbers, there
are no more numbers than square numbers.
30.We live in an age when unnecessary things are our
only necessities
31. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
32. There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your
heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.
33. It’s weird not to be weird.
34. Good judgment comes from experience, and
experience comes from bad judgment.
35. I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and
that is that I know nothing.”
36. In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not
getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
37. Don’t believe anything you read on the net. Except this.
Well, including this, I suppose.
38. Life is a preparation for the future; and the best
preparation for the future is to live as if there were none.
39. You are never too old to become younger!
40. He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what
he fears.”
41. Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.
42. I am Dead, but it’s not so bad. I’ve learned to live with it.
43. A lot of people never use their initiative because no-one
told them to.
44. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but don’t three lefts
make a right?
45. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but don’t two negatives
make a positive?
46. All generalizations are false, including this one.
47. Good judgement is the result of experience and
experience the result of bad judgement.
48. I never said most of the things I said.
49. Give me an honest con man any day.
50. It is so difficult - at least, I find it difficult - to understand
people who speak the truth.
51. A fear of weakness only strengthens weakness.
52. Don’t you know that it is only the very foolish folk who
talk sense all the time?
53. There are two kinds of people in the world, those who
believe there are two kinds of people in the world
and those who don’t.
54. Pops added, “you know, they say if you don’t vote, you
get the government you deserve.” “And if you do,
you never get the results you expected,” (Katherine)
replied.
55. Failing to plan, is like planning to fail.
56. When you perceive a truth, look for the balancing truth.
57. One of the great constants in life is change.
58. I would lie to you if I tell You the truth.
59. We exist only to exist.
60. Life is indeed precious and I believe the death penalty
helps to affirm that fact.
61. When you close your mouth, you say everything.
62. Humans cannot create what Nature can create and
Nature cannot create what Humans can create.
63. Fathers are ironic; they want democracy in their country
but dictatorship in their home.
64. I’m not offended until you think I’m offended.
65. Service that is purely self-serving, becomes a vice.
Do not serve, vice.
66. It is the pursuit of happiness that makes people unhappy.
67. The more we do, the more we can do; the busier we are,
the more leisure we have.
68. Without death death is dead.
69. A circle has no end.
70. Ah Life, Thou art a false truth!
71. Attack is the best way of defence.
Palindromes:
A palindrome is a word, phrase, number or sequence of words
that reads the same backwards as forwards. Punctuation and
spaces between the words or lettering is allowed.
Examples of Palindromes:
The longest single word palindrome in the English language,
according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is the onomatopoeic
‘tattarrattat’, coined by James Joyce in Ulysses (1922) for a
knock on the door. Fun fact: the longest palindrome in use
today is said to be the Finnish word “saippuakivikauppias”
which means soap stone vendor. Other fun palindromes
include:
Single Word Palindromes:
Anna, Civic, Kayak, Level, Madam, Mom, Noon, Racecar,
Radar, Redder, Refer, Repaper, Rotator, Rotor, Sagas,
Solos, Stats, Tenet, Wow.
Multiple Word Palindromes
Dontnod.
I did did I?
My gym.
Red rum, sir, is murder.
Step on no pets.
Top spot.
Was it a cat I saw?
Eva, can I see bees in a cave?
No lemon, no melon.
History of the Palindrome:
The word palindrome is derived from the Greek ‘Palin,’ or
“back” and ‘dromos’ or “direction.” The actual Greek phrase alluded to the backward movement of the crab. Palindromes
date back to about 70 AD, when they were first found as a
graffito buried in ash at Herculaneum.
This first known palindrome was in Latin and read
“sator arepo tenet opera rotas” which means either:
The sower Arepo holds the wheels with effort. or
The sower Arepo leads with his hand the plough.
Not exactly a grammatically correct sentence, but still pretty
fun.
Palindromes were also found in ancient Greek and in ancient
Sanskrit, so obviously people have been having quite a lot of
fun with these unique words for quite a long time.
Another aspect of the palindrome is that it is able to reproduce
itself. If a word is formed from the first letters of each word,
and then from the second, the third and so on, it can then be
arranged into a word square. A word square can be read in four
different ways: horizontally or vertically from either top left to
bottom right or bottom right to top left.
Types of Palindromes
Character by Character
The most common of English palindromes are those that are
read character by character, for instance, level, rotor and
racecar. Character by character means that each character of
the word matches, and the word can be spelled the same
forwards or backwards.
“Madam I’m Adam” is a famous character by the character
palindrome. Palindrome examples also exist in phrases or
sentences where punctuation, capitals and spacing are
ignored.
For instance, “Sit on a potato pan, Otis”. One of perhaps the
most famous palindromes that exist in this form is
“Able was I, ere I saw Elba.”
Name Palindromes
Palindromes exist in names too; a past Prime Minister of
Cambodia was named Lon Nol.
Word Palindromes
Some palindromes use whole words rather than letters,
for example “First ladies rule the State and state the rule:
ladies first.” There, instead of each character matching,
the whole sentence can be read backwards and forwards.
The individual letters don’t match, but the whole words do.
Number Palindromes
Palindromes aren’t just a word game. They are also found
in numbers and are studied in recreational mathematics.
In fact, a palindromic prime is a palindromic number that is
a prime number, such as 191 and 313.
Palindromes are even seen in molecular biology. Many
molecular lengths between 4 and 8 nucleotides are
palindromic as they correspond to nitrogenous sequences
that read the same forwards as they do backwards.
Other Types of Palindromes
Palindromes are seen in dates, and even in acoustics when
a phrase once recorded and played backwards sounds the
same. Palindromes are also found in modern and classical
music pieces. The purpose of using palindromes in your
writing, whether it’s words, whole sentences or numbers,
is to create something entertaining. Consider them brain
teasers. So go ahead and have fun with them!
TIT-WITS
1.All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterwards
that causes all the trouble.
2.When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always
tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”
3.A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find
such a man. - Lana Turner
4.Behind every great man is a woman rolling her
eyes. -Jim Carrey
5.A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes
it more often. - Oliver Herford
6.Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to
see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
7.Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin
8.I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should
have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin
9.Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems,
I’m tired of solving them for you.
10.Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but
if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
11.They say that love is more important than money, but have
you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
12.“The primary feature of women is not a ‘beauty’, it’s a
‘mystery’.”
13.“Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug
perpetually up your nose.”
14.She grabbed his hand and held it tightly, and he thought,
“She loves me!” And she thought, “wow this sidewalk is icy!”
15.How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys
two cases of beer instead of one.
16.Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to
create a Facebook account.
17.If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without a
high speed Internet.
18.I don’t work on weekends, or any other day that ends with “Y”.
19.I didn’t find out what happiness means until I got married...
and then it was too late.
20.Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth
shall set you free… ‘From your job.’
21.When you meet the right woman she will sink into your arms,
then your arms in her sink.
22.Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter...
people the opposite.
23.Why can’t cats work on the computer? They get too
distracted chasing the mouse around.
24.I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!
25.After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was
nobody to pick me up.
26.How can you make sure you never miss your target?
Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
27.One day my wife’s credit card got stolen… what a relief it
was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!
28.Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick
fingers.
29.I feel the best when I am happy.
30.What she does when she sees someone pretty. She stares,
she smiles and when she gets tired, puts the mirror down.
31.My wife is like Math, can’t be contradicted.
32.Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people
during Math class... none of which had anything to do
with Math.
33.To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math:
I hate you.
34.In Math class we learned more about algebra today,
such as X + 10 = Y, if it is so why I should bother?
35.Math If you’re a fish swimming against the current,
you will soon be electrocuted.
36.Some observations on dogs-
(i)They never marry, as they are already living a dog’s life.
(ii) They don’t like to be the pet of Dhobi because they
neither get Ghar nor Ghat.
(iii) They are scared of their tails which do not change in
accordance with situations.
(iv) Healthy dog bark- Ruff-Ruff.
(v)The cold dog bark - Scarf Scarf.
(vi) The confused dog bark- Wutf-Wutf.
(vii) They are sorry that they can’t bite
their lady owner.
(viii) But are extremely pleased with their life only because
they are at liberty to lick their lady owner, even in front of
their lords.
(ix)You can trust your dog to guard your house but never
trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
What is SPA? Fresh 10,000 years old mud for sale.
37. A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long
enough to cover the subject and short enough to create
interest. - Winston Churchill
38. I think I’m starting to have a problem with my vision,
ever since I got married I haven’t seen any money
through the entire house.
39. My wife loves me so much; she tries her best to attract
me to her. The other day she put on perfume that smells
like a computer.
40. My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she
entered the wrong password over and over again until
she managed to convince the computer that she’s right!
41. When I rushed into my doctor’s office and told him
I have 40 seconds to live? The doctor told me
“hold on a minute”!
43. A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the
fish in, looks at the fish and says ‘I am taking you for tonight’s
dinner!’ The fish replies ‘I already ate; can we go somewhere else?’
44. Friends! I am on a 09 day fast, so far, I’ve lost 05 days.
45. If a philosopher Answers your question, you will no longer
understand what you asked in the first place.
46. An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but
instead grows in length and width.
47. Life is the dash (-) between the birth date and the passed
away date.
48. My wife asked me what numbers to play at the lottery. I
told her ‘the winning ones!’
49. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more,
the one that gives up is the real winner.
50. Getting on a plane, I told the lady air hostess, ‘Send one
of my bags to New Delhi, one to Bengaluru, and one to
Mumbai.’ She said, ‘We can’t do that!’ I told her, ‘You did
it last week!’
51. A bikini is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the
property without obstructing the view.
52. When you see a married couple walking down the street,
the one that’s a few steps ahead are the one that’s mad.
53. Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already
tomorrow in the other parts of the globe.
54. Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me
because I’m not in a hurry.
55. It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is,
I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
56. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
57. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision
maker.
The most important four words for a successful marriage:
‘I’ll do the dishes.’
58. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up …reading.
59. What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal
that can jump at all, because houses can’t jump.
60. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t
have a job if he was any smarter.
61. After many years of studying my Geography book I finally
know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
62. Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
63. I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in
front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.
64. In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac
there is power and in water there is bacteria.
65. The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do
drugs, doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.
66. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as
hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way
to make water, a vital ingredient in wine.
67. I have the world’s largest seashell collection. You may
have seen it; I keep it spread out on beaches all over the
world.
68. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
69. Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live
in an institution forever?
70. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know
nothing.
71. My wife told me we have to separate… The whites from
the darks.
72. When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or
him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.
73. I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders,
when they said they do, I told them ‘run outside naked!’
74. The difference between running and walking is a lot more
apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.
75. Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy
working then drink before work.
76. There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her
crazy. Her heart.
77. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of
someone to blame it on.
78. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets
better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
79. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me
to quit going to those places.
80. Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never
get anything back.
81. Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll
take it anyway.
82. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.
83. There are three sides to an argument - your side, my side and
the right side.
84. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll
be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
85. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in
her way.
86. Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have Rs 50
million but I was just as happy when I had Rs. 48 million.
87. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
88. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
89. They told me I was intelligent...and I believed them.
90. According to my best recollection, I don’t remember.
91. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the
softness of the bread.
92. The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last
thing you do.
93. I’ve had amnesia as long as I can remember.
94. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
95. It takes two to lie... One to lie and one to listen...
96. Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
97. The space between your fingers was created so another
can fill in them.
98. Marriage is like a public toilet; those waiting outside are
desperate to get in, and those inside are desperate to come
out.
99. Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
100. I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack
the time to make it shorter.
101. I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
102. Everyone is gifted - but some people never open their
package.
103. Don’t consume alcohol, it kills. your lying capacity,
your enmity and your arrogance.
104. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it
by leaving early. – Charles Lamb
105. If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counselling;
if you can use either one, it’s a miracle– Jack Adams
106. An adult is a person who has stopped growing at both
ends and started growing in the middle.
107. Always and never are two words you should always
remember never to use. – Wendell Johnson
108. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal
from many is research.
