8-His highness:
A thirsty jackal in search of water entered the house of a washer man where jackal found a big tub half filled with water. He tried to drink it but could not reach the water as it was beyond its reach. But the jackal continued its efforts and finally it succeeded but in the efforts it fell into the tub.
The water in the tub was blue, as the washer man had just finished the colouring of clothes. White jackal turned into the blue jackal when it came out of the tub. The intelligent jackal announced himself as the king of the jungle stating that it is awarded with the lordship by the goddess of the jungle. The animals like other jackals, deer, rabbits etc. of the jungle accepted the blue jackal as their master and started calling the jackal highness and started serving the lordship with heart and soul.
Some were massaging the lordship; others accepted the duty of arranging quality food to their master blue jackal.
There is an old Greek saying that “Character is habit long continued”. Or “Old habit dies hard.” Or an old French saying that “What is learned in the cradle lasts to the grave.”
All these old sayings proved to be true to the lord, the jackal as some other jackals at a distant place in that jungle started howling and by listening to the yipping sound of other jackals in the jungle, the lordship forgot that he is his highness and started responding in the same pattern.
A lion was passing bye and as the lion heard the yipping sound of the lordship, galloped towards the lordship and ate it.
9-Self-confidence:
A junior member of an office was so fed up with the job allotted to him that he dialled the number of his boss by mistake and ordered a cup of coffee with the instruction that the coffee must be served within five minutes.
You bastard! Do you know whom you are talking to?
The boss roared from the other side.
No, but remember that coffee must be served quickly, junior again repeated the instructions.
You fool I am the boss of this office. The boss was hysteric.
On realisation the junior was stunned but the arrow was already shot. The junior collected his confidence and made a counter question boldly ‘do you know whom you are talking?’
This was the limit. The boss went mad. He shouted ‘you rascal! if I was knowing to which fool am, I talking you might not be standing on your feet in the chamber.’
The junior thanked the god and disconnected the phone in a jiffy.
10-Wrong number:
The new maid attended the telephone.
A male voice was from the other side asking the name of the recipient of the phone. The maid told that she is the new maid of this house.
Where is your master lady? The gentleman asked from the other side.
Sir, she has been in her bed room since morning with her husband.
Call her on the phone, the person on the other side ordered the maid.
Sorry sir, I can’t. I have been instructed not to disturb her.
You fool! I am the husband of your master lady. I can’t believe that she can betray me in such a way. Who is the rascal in her bedroom?
Again sorry sir, I don’t know as I am new to this house, the maid replied.
Listen, I am aghast by the betrayal of my wife. I will not only pay you handsome money but may be that I will marry you but you have to do me a favour.
Sir, tell me what I should do?
Kindly shoot both the bastards in the bed room. The revolver is in the drawer. Rest I will manage. I will save you from the police too. Yes, brave lady! do it without any hitch, I am holding the phone to get good news from you.
After some time two shots were fired in the bedroom. The gentleman on the other side heard the sound of firings, and then the voice of the maid who was saying that she did the job as instructed.
The maid enquired what to do with both the dead bodies
The gentleman instructed the maid to dip both the dead bodies in the swimming pool and rest he will manage. Yes brave! I am holding the line. Do it and tell me.
Sir, I have searched the whole of the backyard twice, but there is no swimming pool at all.
Are you on phone no. 22754685?
No sir, it is…,
The phone was disconnected on the other side.
11 - Copy paste is an art:
He was very talkative and a master of this art.
Whatever he speaks, speaks with full command and so impressively that the person hearing him, gets impressed.
Yesterday he stunned everybody listening to him, saying that he has spent five glorious years of his life in the arms of a lady but the lady was not his wife. Many of the listeners asked simultaneously then who was that lady?
He kept smiling all the time but did not tell the name of the lady.
Every one became too eager to know the name of the lady in whose arms he spent his glorious five years.
After a lot of insistence, he told that he spent his five glorious years in the arms of his mother.
Oh! How foolish are we? Exclaimed some of the listeners.
One of the listeners took it seriously and decided to use the same trick with his wife to bargain.
In the night he said to his wife verbatim “I had spent five glorious years of his life in the arms of a lady but the lady was not his wife.”
His wife was stunned and cried, “Who was that rascal lady?”
The husband laughed and said no, no I will ot tell who was that lady?
Please, the wife requested eagerly.
The husband bargained. I will tell if you allow me to have the whisky.
OK, the wife agreed with the restriction of two pegs.
After two pegs, the wife again asked “who was that lady?”
The husband asked which lady?
The one in whose arms you spent your five glorious years and she was not your wife.
Who? Maria, Sonia hitch… hitch, Julia…? The husband enquired.
Next morning the husband opened his eyes in the hospital.
12- Common Sense:
In India it is a common myth that Americans are the most intelligent people on the earth as they have a huge amount of common sense.
And this is why they are far ahead in science and technology then the rest of the world. Why is it a myth? Because Indian never realise that most of the doctors, technocrats in America are Indians. Most of the technical institutes in America are headed by Indians.
Some of the fellows in India collected a huge amount of money and sent the most intelligent person among them Mr. Z to America to purchase some amount of common sense from that money.
Mr. Z alighted the flight and after due checking
at aerodrome he came out. Since Mr. Z was
new to the New York city and he was in
search of a cab to reach his pre booked hotel.
Luckily, he got one which was being operated
by an Indian driver named Y.
Enroute the cab driver asked Mr. Z the purpose of his visit to New York.
Mr. Z was a simple person. He disclosed the purpose of his visit.
The cab driver was a smart person. He offered his services in helping Mr. Z at a lower cost. Mr. Z agreed. The cab driver asked a question to Mr. Z. ‘I have a family of four, my wife, my son and my daughter.
Can you tell me who is the fourth person in my family?’
Mr. Z told ‘n’ numbers of names as the fourth candidate of his family except the name of the cab driver.
Mr. Y then told Mr. Z that the fourth member of his family will be Y, the cab driver i.e. he himself and only this is called common sense which Indians are lacking. I too lacked common sense when I was new here.
On reaching the hotel Mr. Z paid the cab charges and the fee of common sense he earned from Mr. Y. Mr. Z enjoyed there for a few days and returned back to India.
On reaching India Mr. Z gathered the people who had collected money for the purpose. The gathering was eager to know about common sense Mr. Z procured from America.
Mr. Z told the gathering that really Americans are full of common sense, even Indians who are the native Americans have plenty of common sense. I have purchased the common sense at very low cost from an Indian cab driver.
Show us, show us, the mob shouted. Mr. Z calmed them and threw a question at the gathering. ‘I have a family of four, my wife, my son and my daughter. Can you tell me who is the fourth person in my family?’
The gathering told ‘n’ numbers of names as the fourth candidate of Mr. Z’s family except the name of Mr. Z. However, one old man replied that the fourth member of your family will be you yourself.
Mr. Z. Mr. Z, said no. The fourth member of my family will be Mr. Y the cab driver, and only this is called common sense.
13- Defensive offence:
I can save you from the death penalty by the court but my fee you can't afford. The advocate said to a murder accused.
No problem, I have lot of money but the money I earned from this murder is kept at a secret place which I can take once I am acquitted from the charge and will pay you even more than your demand. The accused murderer assured the advocate.
OK, dear. Now listen carefully. In the court you shall have to pretend as if you are insane. The advocate advised his client.
The client asked the trick to prove him as insane.
The advocate taught the lesson to his client with the rehearsal.
In the court the client was dramatically silent and was answering the advocate of persecution, judge and even his own advocate for all their questions with a single word “Yahoo”.
The court released and discharged the client from the charges of murder on the plea of he being an insane.
The client was thanking his advocate happily.
The advocate asked his fee stating that now you are free.
The client became silent saying “Yahoo”.
14-Bad listeners:
The magician generated the sound by snapping the thumb and the middle finger and asked the audience to do the same with the help of their thumb and little finger as he did.
Many of the spectators tried to generate the sound with the help of their thumb and little finger but failed to do so.
Some say he has the art of mesmerising the people. Others say it is not mesmerism but a trick which he uses to mislead us. Nobody got the trick correctly as they were bad listeners hence inattentive while the magician was performing the snapping of fingers.
