12
THE TRAIN
[In Kali Yuga the human civilization will degenerate spiritually. The age would be known age dark age because in it people would be as far away as possible from true knowledge. Dharma is symbolically presented as a bull. In Satya Yuga, the first stage of development, it had four legs, in second Yuga it had three, in third it had two means in each age dharma is reduced by one quarter. In Kali Yuga, morality would be reduced to only a quarter of the Satya Yuga, so the bull presenting the Dharma would have only one leg and it would be unable to stand. It would fall and with it, mankind will fall. Then I’ll come to stand it again on its four legs and bring Satya Yuga back on the earth.]
Until I hear the whistle of the train I struggle with the conversant- person inside me.
The train enters in the station with ear-piercing noise, gliding like the snake in the desert, and omitting clouds of smoke as if she is a daughter of Pralaya. I haven’t seen something as long as the train before. Its shadow travels till head building.
It is black, as black as a snake, standing on metal rails, formed of metal, as long as a row of twenty huts together. I understand why my people fear it. They believe the train is an incarnation of a bad giant who was used to swallow peoples. Some secret gossip when they start train every time at the terminus they offer a human sacrifice (Bali) to it. Of course, the human sacrifice (Bali) is chosen from the poor folk living beyond the wall, not from the traders, Nirbhayas or Devatas. I don’t know the gossips are true or not.
I don’t believe in this as my people are gossipers. they are superstitious and even fear of certain days – don’t wash your head on that day and don’t look at the moon on this day, don’t go in the south on that day and don’t buy or sell anything on that day.
They believe in Karma and me too but not like them. They think everything we get is due to Karma and that’s our Karma of past life that we are the Sunyas and untouchable but I don’t believe in such Karma. I think Karma is that if we do good deed our future would be good but I don’t believe in the Karma of past life affects this life. We don’t even know what is going to happen to us in the next moment and my people always say – if you will do this that will happen to you and if you don’t do this that will happen to you. For my people, Karma is only to frighten the hell out of them.
Teen-ager Sunyas start whispering to each other. None is enough brave to go near it to watch it properly, not even I.
I am feared as if I am seeing a giant who eats hundreds of people in his meal. Then the doors open and we see Nirbhaya, one behind each open door, all looking merciless like Jagpati and resemble him in look, having so many battle-scares over their skin.
“experienced will lead their sons and daughter to cars when I say,” Jagpati again appears on a high place, carrying something in his hand, an instrument like a torch which makes his voice twenty times louder than it actual is, “all understood?” he holds that black voice-louder-torch high.
All Sunyas nod their head, having no right of speaking in chorus in presence of Devatas or Nirbhaya.
I wonder how my people can be so silent.
If we are called wild then we should be wild but we all are looking mild like tame?
Why?
Are we not wild?
Are they lying we are wild and undisciplined people?
Maybe – they are.
Why?
To show us lower than them. To make us believe we are not human but only the Sunya. To prove us they are higher and finally, to rule us.
My father grabs my hand, breaking my thoughts and leads me to a car. A car means a big empty part of the train separated from other same parts by doors. They call it a car, so we do.
Then I saw Nirav- another leader of the troop. He is looking strong and menacing. I feel fear as soon as my eyes meet with him. The eye contact has lasted only some seconds but I knew in that time he has something cruel within him. My father is right – I should be careful when he his around.
My father climbs first and holds out his hand to help me climb aboard. “Carefully,” he says. His voice is serious. For a moment, I don’t know what to do.
“What are you waiting for?” he says, Then he wraps his hand around mine, pulling me onto the train with him.
“Thank you,” I say as I’m aboard.
Inside the train is just metal and metal except for the place where we suppose to sit. That place was covered in leather and soft. When I sit, I feel like I have thrown myself in the water, where there isn’t the jarring impact of falling.
In my car, we are thirty Sunya with a Nirbhaya – to make us disciplined.
I wonder why they send Nirbhaya if they want us in the discipline they can make us so by giving fear of Pralaya. Sometimes I think why we fear Pralaya? We shouldn’t.
“Your seat belt?” the Nirbhaya in our car says, “experienced teach your apprentice how to tie it.”
I look at my father, he catches two belts made of strange material and having clips at both and, “look at how to do it?” he says me.
As I nod my head saying- I am watching, he draws clips together and it makes a click. It is tied around my father.
I do the same with my belt.
All the Sunya do the same.
“Now, make yourself ready to see what Pralaya has done.” The Nirbhaya says, “The merciful creator has secured you in the wall but you should see the ruin of Pralaya in the way so you can show your gratitude while working in construction for the cause of noble.”
All the Sunya are listening and then nod their head as if these constructions are being made for us.
I also nod my head, not wanting any doubt of people around.
“Experienced you know the rules,” Nirbhaya continues, “Tell them one by one before the train starts.
All head nod again in approval – saying yes, we know.
My father looks at me – “don’t cry even if you see something horrible.” He says it without hesitation, and I hate his words.
I nod.
Perhaps my father can hear my heart pounding, because when he says second rule his fingers touch mine, “Don’t close your eyes.”
I nod.
“The doors will be open so don’t unfasten your belt before the terminus,” he says, worried now.
What is this terminus? I think but don’t ask as my teacher has told me don’t reveal your curiosity in presence of a Nirbhaya or a Devata.
I nod.
“No one will repeat the rule – if you break them you will be thrown out of the train, without giving a second chance.”
How can he say such unjust rules without hesitation, and how can I believe him I think but I nod, speak nothing.
What unjust rules!
The Nirbhaya standing outside wave green clothes cut in shape of a triangle and having a symbol of terrible bird’s face in the center of it, and we hear a defining whistle of the train, the Nirbhaya standing in our car leans out and shows a green lamp to the Nirbhaya outside. Again the train whistles.
I can’t understand why they were doing so but it is sure they are safety measures – they aren’t enough foolish to do all such processes just for tradition.
The terrible face of the bird – I assume it would be what my teacher says - an owl that is a symbol of the Creator. My father says Beyond the wall on their flag is the same symbol. No one knows exactly but gossip is that the creator has chariot marked with an owl sign and his Temple is haunted and dogs are barking all around it. The crow crows and the owls let out eerie noises over his chariot when he sets out on it. He hates horses that are why his chariot has strange animals named asses that can walk even in the sandy desert.
I feel small jerks and something beneath me moves…
No, we move…
We move along with the train…
It’s something excited we never have experienced before. All look at each other. If we haven’t heard the rules I surely have shouted with excitement.
I want to shout but on the other hand, I don’t want to be thrown out of the train.
I keep silent, watching the train to move.
It moves but slowly, so slowly that if it keeps the same speed it takes us a week to reach but then something strange I hear, I voice like ocean roaring when its waves crash into rocks.
I know what is it – it’s sound of the engine. My father has told me the train runs due to its engine.
First I think how we can see anything in the darkness around but as the train leaves the wall behind and came out from the underground route to the elevated track I can see ruin everywhere even in the dark. Thank god. The train travels during the night otherwise all the Sunya in the train have started screaming and they have thrown us out of the train –in the darkness.
In the moonlight I saw ruin – only ruin everywhere. Buildings made of the glass and metal and cement are towering the high, dotting every inch of both the sides of the elevated track, they are so horrible in condition as if they would fall just now and crush the train beneath them.
Everywhere nothing but the skyscraper buildings as my father has told me, half broken, with big holes, and half buried in the sand as if someone has buried the whole area in the desert and still the half of it is visible.
Moonlight is shining on the sand and broken glasses of the buildings, making faint shadows here and there, on the sand and over buildings.
“Experienced,” the Nirbhaya says, in a high voice, “tell them what Pralaya can do if they don’t follow the rules.” his voice so loud that we can hear it even in the wind blowing in from open doors and windows.
As all experienced Sunya nod, the Nirbhaya leaves the car, opening a sliding door he disappears in another cart.
“That’s the ruin, my son.” I see tears in my father’s eyes. He is feeling guilty as if Pralaya has come just due to him.
“This is multistoried houses where people live before Pralaya but then it came and destroyed everything.”
I look into his face, pretending to hear what he saying but my mind is busy in thoughts – why the Nirbhaya left the cart? Why he allows us to talk?
I have no answers.
No Sunya has an answer.
But…
The Conversant has.
The conversant inside me know the answer – that’s call brainwashing. I have read it in a book of knowledge.
Before Pralaya ruler does the same thing to rule people.
Nirbhaya wants to make us feel this ruin is due to us and if we don’t follow the rules the same horrible things happens again.
But how can we be responsible for the ruin which happened before hundreds of years of our birth?
But… Sunya can’t think logically. They can see things as they show them. If they say the oceans have drinkable water but you broke the rules and its water turned salty. My people will believe.
If they say the moon was as bright as the sun but you lost trust in the Devatas and its light grew pale. My people will believe it and feel miser for making moon pale.
Fuck my people.
Fuck their foolishness.
My people’s foolishness makes me angry at them, even I love them.
Anger – a banned characteristic for us.
Anger is also a basic emotion of life. If you get never angry means there is a fault in your system.
Should I not get angry when my people are forced to work beyond the work? Should I not get angry when Devatas kill my people? Should I not get angry when Pralaya is hidden in the ocean and any moment it can swallow my people and I can't do anything for them?
I’ve discussed it even with my teacher but what he said is a bit little different. My teacher says misdirected anger can cause harm but everyone should have anger. This is the anger that electrifies you and makes you active in action.
***
To be continue.....
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