Chapter-23
I sad, frustrated and wanted to be alone. So, go out from office for fresh air to breathe. How could my family think that I am in depression? as if I have done something weird and shameless. At least my mother and sister really need to understand that what I want. I stop my car near a park full of tress, chirping of birds I know this place from last year when my car broke down and I stopped for rest and I feet better. I switch off my phone for a while to think about what I have done that I need to go to see psychiatrist. Elena took revenge from me but I am not angry with her. Though I expected that she would smile and understand and say, ‘Evan enjoy your life. I don’t mind stay blessed and happy’. This thought makes me smile. How will I tell Logan that my forks consider my love life as some sort of mental illness?
How are you, Evan? I turn back and surprise to see Sarah. Sarah you? How do you know that I am here? I track your phone, she laughs. I am joking actually I was passing by and saw your car and thought maybe you need me. She replies. What makes you come here? I am here to sell my dad’s property. She points at a small house on the other side with little garden. This place is beautiful, you must keep this place. I suggest. I wish to but I need money and you know the crisis. She explains. I keep quiet. So, are you depressed with the headlines.? No, I am sad about what my mom, dad and dear sister thinks about me. You know they are expecting much from you, they all love you. They have dream for your wedding, bride, babies and they are hurt and you didn’t tell them. That’s why they feel worst so they react in this way. Don’t worry time will heal everything, she puts hand on my shoulder. Thanks Sarah! you have always been a great friend. I hold her hand. Weston thinks that you like me more than a friend. I hesitate to speak. He is an idiot, sometimes he thinks I like Peter, then you but he never thought of himself. What? I leave her hand and look at her face. Do you like Weston? Yes, I do, in fact from high school, I adore him. but never speak and now he has chosen someone else and is going to marry his love. I am happy for him. She inhales. You would have told me about Weston earlier may be there could be a different story. I say to her. When I thought of telling you, he announced that he has found the love of his life. From school till date, he never looked at me in that way. So, it was always one-sided love. we sit on a big stone and watch the small river flowing in front of us.
Love is complicated, yes, it is! I reply and we both smile. I like Logan, he is a nice guy and I know about Mason that he liked you once he told me. When Peter saw you, both holding and kissing each other. I asked him and he said that you were his crush. When he came back from London, he wanted to meet you but he had an accident. Sarah says and tries to read my reaction. I always think maybe it is because of hormonal change as I like girls too. So, I never took him seriously thought just a sort of attraction. But Logan means a lot to me. My voice is seductive. Then go and talk to him, be with him, no matter what others say. Your family will understand you one day, I think. But you should be stronger and more positive about this relationship. She again says a correct thing. Sarah, I wish I could do something for you. I feel pity for her. Life is sometimes unfair to us and we have to accept the way it comes. We hear the chirping birds. Some birds don’t belong to sky. I say and we both sit for a while to feel the nature.
At dinner, I tell Logan about all that happened today, he says that you must do what your parents’ want because they love you and one is lucky to have such a loving family. I can see the pain of his past in his eyes while speaking. This family belongs to you too and one day they will accept you. I assure him. I don’t expect much, when you are with me, I feel complete and happy. He puts a spoon of rice in my mouth and I smile. I promise him that we never fall apart. We shall overcome from this phase too. Yes, we do, I love you! Evan. I too and we kiss each other on lips.
Next morning, I sit in front of William Davis a man in late forties, with glasses and he wears informal clothes. He looks so fit and healthy like in thirties. Evan, I will be happy if you tell me about yourself, from where you want to start. I look at him and very slowly, I tell him about Logan, my childhood attraction Mason, Elena and my friends everything. I open up very easily. Usually, people take time while talking about their life, but I am glad you are at ease to share. He speaks. I don’t want to come for more sessions, I have come because of my parents. Trust me, you need not to come again, if you accept that this is not because of hormones change. You choose a man and you are bisexual. And it is nothing related to science. It is concerned with your body and heart with whom you would like to share your intimate feelings. No matter, if in the future you start liking women then also it’s completely normal. He tells me like a friend not a psychiatrist. I love Logan and decide to be with him forever. Evan, don’t burden your soul much. If you choose to be a gay. Then it’s not your fault, it’s human nature with whom one wants to live. And live with whom you like. You have reached new heights where you can easily see the sunshine of life. Love leads you in the right direction if you trust this feeling. Don’t ever or decide something for your heart. Let your heart decide for you. He stops and I smile with gratitude and he understands my expression. So, Mr Evan, you were right, you need not to come here again. You are just confused in your mind but you are not in depression and I will tell this thing to your father also. I expect him to understand you in a better way it hardly matters how much time it takes.
Thank you, Mr Davis! I really feel better and proud of what I am. I am in no dilemma. Thank you is not enough for what I feel now. Yes, thank you is not enough you have to pay my fees and we both laugh.
