"Paritosh, I've been wanting to tell you something for many days now."
"What?"
"Can we live in a separate house after getting married? You have such a huge family. The very thought of staying with everyone, actually scares me. Moreover, after marriage, all my friends are living independent of their in-laws."
For a minute I was speechless. Three months after our engagement, I fell in love with Poonam. Nonetheless, I didn't expect her to come up with such a wish. In my large household, fifteen members of three families lived together in a colossal bungalow, and I loved all of them. My family was my life, but how could I explain this to Poonam in words?
I took both her hands in mine, and keeping patience, said lovingly,
"Poonam, if we go on to live in a separate house, my parents will be devastated. I have a request. Let's stay together with everyone for twelve months. If you're still not comfortable, then we will do as you say."
She didn't like it, but agreed without any further argument.
After marriage, in a span of one year, different incidents ensued; both bitter and sweet; happy and sad.
"You relax and go to work, don't worry about the house. We're all here." Poonam was elated to hear my mother's remark. I drew her attention to this subject.
"Poonam, if we were living separately, would you have got this space and freedom?"
"Well... Of course we would have to make some petty adjustments, Paritosh. Howbeit, having our own individual house has advantages of a different level."
Huh!! Now what do I say to that?!?
Once, dad and my uncle had a heated war of words over business, and the fight blew the roof as they came neck to neck against each other. They weren't on talking terms for a stretch of time, and Poonam kept giving me those meaningful glances, as if saying, "See, what happens when you breathe the same air in a large family!!"
But by the time Diwali approached, mom and aunt cemented everything to as good as new. Not only that, all of us celebrated the festival in complementary grandeur.
Poonam and my opinion of living in a joint family, kept oscillating like a pendulum.
Ten months after we tied the knot, I met with a massive car accident. I underwent a leg surgery, had a blood transfusion, and was hospitalized for nearly twenty days. My cousins took care of the doctor's appointments, check-ups, medicines and all the running around errands. The entire family stood by us like a strong pillar.
One evening, while Poonam was sitting next to me in the hospital, she took my hand in hers and began gently,
"Paritosh, all our folks maybe weird kind of specimens, but I must confess that there is no place on earth where we'll find the happiness and support like we receive here in our big fat loving family."
Her admission was like a warm blanket on a freezing winter night. Smiling, I kissed her hand, and poured my heart out. "We may have our differences, but nothing is more important than a family. Poonam, now that we've witnessed all sorts of bizarre things in these ten months, what is your current point of view?"
My jumpy nerves were in my mouth when I asked her the next fearful question. "Do you still want to go and live separately?"
She burst out laughing and squealed.
"Are you crazy? What's there to ask? It's a given, we'll always live together, with our dear family!"
Shamim Merchant, Mumbai_________________________________
Shades Of Simplicity
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