The odor of Incense
Still fresh on my mind
Besides that empty door
My mother was crying by it's side.
That day won't be forgotten
Even though it was bad
I'll crave you on my heart
Just remember to miss us dad.
It was afternoon
Who took him
Far away from us.
And It was that sun
Who was making the weather hot
But my hand felt cold
Touching that pale body
Who's now have left the soul.
That warm tears of mine
Was pouring endlessly
I was calling out for him
He just left carelessly.
In the home, there was
Some silence was embedded
But I heard him talking
Telling me "it's okay!"
Then it became the eve
Not wanted to wait for us
To reach the hometown.
We left in hurry
Leaving the rest behind.
The road was long
It took us 5 hours to complete
In that last journey
I had to follow his guide.
He told me
"Not to worry."
"Go on with your life."
Even though he never said it
I heard it from inside.
The first hour, I was thinking
It would have been better if
We had stayed longer.
We could have traveled
Many journeys together.
Leave the rest,
What about my mother?
You left her crying
Miss you forever.
Dad I don't blame you
It's a part of the nature
It's the truth, like
A storm to a clear weather.
Damn that vehicle
That shook you from outside
I let my anger slip, cause
I was also crying from inside.
I had this thought
If, you ever leave us behind
What would have happened
If you had never by our side.
The second hour of a journey
Was getting worsen then it was
I heard my mom sobbing
What should I have done then
My throat was also throbbing.
Now the sun has said goodbye
The world has hug the stary night
And that moon was smirking at me
Mocking me, made me feel jealous
That he could stay forever.
I looked away knowing
It's the fatel truth of nature
In order to bring harmony
It has to be where it were.
At the time we reached the middle
Our tears were already dry
We could feel the pain
But there's no tears to cry.
I was sitting beside his lifeless body
Looking back at our memories
He taught me many things with love
That old bycycle was also broken enough.
That cooking of his
Led my stomach to bliss
Those vegetables markets
At morning will never lose its shine.
I still remember he scolded me
For not going to school
And praised me for growing up so beautiful.
I saw him smiling when
I draw those stupid things
And I heard him crying when
I got many injuries.
The phase of hour third
Reminded me to my worst
He never gave up on me
When I was sick for years.
He hoped for the best
For me to be independent
I argued with him for my dreams
Cause his and mine's thoughts were different.
I never blamed him to let me choose
His path of life
He just wanted to show the love from his side.
When the winter comes
We lit the coal fire at hall
And those roasted potatoes
Tasted too sweet to have it all.
And those summer days
What to tell?
The weather was hot
And we did nothing at all.
Yeah! But there were times
When we went on some vacations
We hit the road
We laughed and cried togather.
It hurts to say that
Now all is gone
But memories won't fade away
They'd be stuck like a gum.
On those Sunday mornings
We should have gone for a walk
We could've made ourselves clear
It would have better
If we could have talked.
But it's okay
We never forget to share love
It's okay cause
We shared it enough.
We played the game called ludo
"Life is beautiful girl, just you don't know."
I know I'm gonna miss you everyday
It's fine but there's so much left to say.
On the next fourth hour
I lost my faith
This mind on my head
Was making me insane.
I have to look after mother from now on
You told me to stay strong
But how can I When you're gone.
"Don't worry. We'll be okay"
We'll make it with time
I just regret that
There wasn't enough time to say goodbye.
Remember when we had those happy moments
I'm glad I charish it back then
Now they're fading
I guess i should've hug you back then.
I regretted
When I had fights with you
I regretted
When I shouted at you
"I'm sorry."
I still feel you presence around me
Dad, I know you'll never leave
It's just your body.
Hour of fifth
I believe in afterlife
I believe
It's not a myth.
I choose to deny
That people are dead
Being dead is not the ending
I believe it's the new beginning.
Your soul may have left your body
But when you know that
You'll know it's true.
One must left this world when time comes
It's not easy but they need leave
To be born with a new life.
The phases are not beautiful all the time
I know it hurts but it's the truth of life.
"Oh, look. We've reached the hometown of yours."
The villagers who were suppose to look after each other
They didn't wanted to let us inside because of COVID 19.
We knew that he didn't die of it
We knew that they're safety was our priority.
We didn't exposed his body
We knew but just in case
We covered it all up
So they won't get COVID 19.
We only performed our rituals outside the village
We knew that they're health was important
That is exactly why
We didn't blame them for not coming for the last phase.
Dad, the ending had come for this journey
But I know, for me, for you
It's the new beginning.
