After being physically abused in her childhood, Rachel was left with a shattered inside. Which was guilty, agitated and angry with the whole world. It took years to build up her self confidence and trust the opposite gender again.
The fear of being beaten by his father for every small thing, brought Keshav to believe he was worthless. Due to which he developed stammering in his speech and that remained with him for a lifetime.
What is this? Emotional damage. The harm others brought to you or sometimes, when not catered on time, you invited the injury for yourself. And sadly, even when you are educated and old enough to differentiate between right and wrong, the impairment is so deep, that healing seems almost impossible.
Many events and circumstances occur in our lives which can be difficult, traumatic or deeply hurting. The heavy baggage that we carry with us. After that it's like loading skeletons of the past on our shoulders and taking them with us into our future. Which of course is definitely going to interfere with the peace and harmony of our present.
Do we want that? Certainly not! Before hopelessness creeps in and dominates us, let's take matters in our own hands and do something about it. Emotional healing is quite in contrast to physical healing. Physical healing needs you to relax and slow down. Whereas emotional healing asks you to pull up your socks and get to work. It demands you become wiser and do something to change your life for the better.
First and foremost, if you have an emotional problem, accept it. We are all humans and we all have a past. Don't hide under the cover of, "Nothing, I'm fine."
So next time a devastating feeling captivates you, don't sideline it. Be brave and question yourself. Why am I upset and what do I actually want? What am I willing to do to make myself feel calm and peaceful again?
If the fault is not yours and the emotional baggage is due to someone else, if possible, talk it out with that person. And if not, then distance yourself from that situation. Nothing is more important than your own happiness. It might be difficult to understand, but at the end of the day, we live with ourselves.
If the mistake is yours, still there's surely no need to drag the burden of guilt all around. Forgive yourself. It's the first step towards healing. Remember, we all goof up at some point. Do something to rectify and repair the damage. What's the opposite of feeling bad? Feeling good! And that's exactly what you need.
Having said that, it doesn't mean you need to rush and make everything perfect overnight. It won't happen. It may only leave you feeling worse. Give yourself time. Slowly, steadily and systematically move in the right direction and stay focused on your objective, that is emotional healing.
Coping with the death of near and dear ones. It can be extremely agonizing. For a couple of years I couldn't digest that my father is no more. He was such a compassionate and lively person. Every time I called up my mother, believe me, I could literally feel his presence in the background. I'm not a cry baby. But the intense emotional weightage that I carried after he passed away was unbearable. Needless to say, it took time. Now I fondly recollect the good times we spent together and I try my best to live life to the standards he had set. It's my tribute to him.
Towards the end I would only like to say one thing. Love and laughter have the strongest virtues for emotional healing.
-Shamim Merchant, Mumbai.
_________________________________________________
