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You are my life - episode 7

"You have to divide with this, then only you will get the final answer", Vijay was telling to Nina , but she seemed hadn't listened to him at all. She hadn't looked at the notebook in which Vijay was working her mathematical problem in 'integral calculus'. She was totally lost herself looking at his face without even blinking.


Nina, a 16 year old gorgeous girl, studying plus two, from third floor, noticed him on the day one when he came here. She found him more handsome and attractive than her usual boring apartment guys. In that apartment many of them tried to impress her, she also dated with 1 or 2, but didn't find any interest in them.

But this new guy, appeared so different, once in a while she's crossing him to get attention, he didn't even bothered to take a look at her. When she tried to talk with him, he just answered the questions asked by her with one or two words. That impressed her so much, she collected details about him from chitra aunty, found that guy was only interested in studies, there by got an excuse by asking a doubt in her subject to meet him in person.

So today she came here as she had a "doubt?!" in her maths book, for that purpose of fulfilling her wish, she searched this book for more than an hour in her room. Now her dream came true, so she was lavishly enjoying it. It's past 7, both were sitting in the living room sofa in chitra's house.

Suddenly a giggle came from outside by which she got back into her senses from her spellbound state and Aadhira entered inside the living room, running fast as though escaping from something. She straight away came to the sofa and climbed up on Vijay's lap.

"It's enough for today Nina, rest of them will see tomorrow", Vijay closed the book and switched over his attention to adhira as he knew her intention was not to clarify the doubt.

"Oh shit...this little devil", Nina gritted her teeth in anger.

Ramya got inside the living room in search of her baby with a bowl in her hand, as she's feeding her dinner. She saw both Nina and Vijay were sitting close together, a sudden wave of anger passed through her for a second for an unknown reason. Looking at Nina's features, her make up and measuring gaze upon her, Ramya felt something inside her heart gone down, she doesn't able to decipher what it is. As It was disturbing her most, She just went straight to the kitchen looking for chitra to divert her attention.

Nina waited there for sometime, but Vijay didn't turn up, he completely engaged with the baby, she reluctantly left the place as there's no other go.

"Are you coming know? Be ready at 6.30, will go together in auto, the reception hall is near by only", said chitra to Ramya, they came out from kitchen talking with each other.

"No sis.. I am not coming", Ramya replied quietly.

"Why girl?! Almost all of us in this apartment are going, she is our neighbour know, we must attend her daughter's reception without fail, don't hesitate, at least adhira will enjoy...." Chitra tried to convince.

Ramya said nothing. Her face got darkened, it appeared as though she's fighting back something inside. Chitra keenly watching her face, looking for a reply. "What's the matter Ramya?" She asked gently.

"She didn't invite me", Ramya replied quietly, looking nonchalant.
"Oh....That's ridiculous", chitra mumbled. A sudden silence occupied the place. Chitra didn't know what to say. She readily understood the reason behind, because she herself undergone the same situation earlier. 2nd floor suseela didn't invite chitra for her daughter's 'valaikappu' (baby shower) ceremony as she doesn't have a child.

"Even in this 21st century, they are foolishly following all those old customs" chitra said in a bothered tone with suppressed anger and distress.

"Leave it sis, you carry on.....", Ramya's face showed an empty smile.

**********

"That's it...This is your fate Ramya, that's what your place in our society, but you are dreaming for something else, that's not possible, be satisfied with your position and whatever you are having, that's the only way for your quiet smooth life" once again the inner voice saying Ramya.

She is sitting on the chair nearby to the bed, placing her elbow on the table, with the hand holding her head and looking at the wall. "Yes, you are true", her lips mumbled quietly. Today one thing became clear for her after seeing both that girl and Vijay together, what she felt was purely jealous. At that time, she couldn't understand, but now after thinking quietly, it's clear-cut, she is definitely feeling for him, she doesn't know how it happened?! when, why, and where it happened?! but it happened!!!

The great single woman Ramya, a widow, mom of a 2 year old girl child, who had crossed so many hurdles in her life, and thought that she made up her mind about the future with confidence, with only single goal set of bringing up her baby... now falls in love with an unknown young guy, that too a teenager.....The worst thing in all this chaos is the so called her lover boy doesn't even taking a glimpse of her at all... very good Ramya!! Great!! Keep it up!!!

The thought of 'loving him' brought both pleasure as well as sharp pain at the same time in her heart.. without her knowledge he slowly entered inside her heart inch by inch and now occupied a permanent place there.....it happened what should not be.... even with the continuous warning from her subconscious mind, it had happened...

"No!!! No!!!! No!!! This is ridiculous. Oh God!! Where does he come from?! Why had it happened?! How come it's been possible?!" Ramya was fully in pain and vain. Water started pouring down her cheeks.

"What's all these Ramya?! This is how you have been raised by your mother?! Where is your culture?! Or else, are you thinking that you are living in a western country?! Being alone, nobody is there to question you means, not doing whatever you want!! There's some principles and customs in this country a woman should follow, by following them you are becoming an example for your child and her future generations...all our forefathers guidances are to ensure a pretty good, pure Blissfull life for us... you must know that..." Her inner voice said.

"Yes, I know..." She let out a sigh.

She knew well that this is wrong, but she can't help herself, everyday she is making a decision, the next day her heart running behind him like a kitten, she felt much ashamed..... and also annoyed by this everyday battle between her mind and heart...

life is not a movie where you have all those colourful dreams like 'love' and 'duet songs'.... she once again cursed herself for having a weak mind expecting such small joys and thinking about her own happiness.


She just drank a glass full of cold water placed on the table to soothen her distressed heart. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

She looked at her baby. She remembered her previous solemn aim of her future. She should not do the same mistake what her mother did earlier. Without adequate education she experienced many difficulties in finding a decent job. Without adequate income now she's facing many troubles daily to lead an economically peaceful life. Since she's having a baby at her hand, she couldn't able to continue her further studies, and do part time work to obtain the skills like short hand, computer which are much needed requirements for job hunters.

She should study well, get good degrees, must improve her skills, earn adequate money to give proper education to her baby. That's what her aim must be......

She remembered her goal....

Whatever may be the obstacles, she should make her baby study well, attain a respectable position in society when she grows older, and she should gain the courage to lead this life as single woman before she gets 'tie knot' with a suitable man. Her duty is to help, support and guide her child to achieve this, and that's what her life is meant to be....

She previously thought about a decision, and this is the right time to confirm that decision....

Ramya's face got brighten up, her vision is clear now. She could be able to see the path laid down before her....to step in and walk down, the only thing she needs to do to accomplish this is get away from him...

She wants to get rid of the 'encroaching feelings and thoughts about him', for that she is ready to go any corner of this world....

Ramya decided, wanted to make a call, she looked at the clock, it's past 12 midnight, so she just typed a detailed message about her requirements to a distant friend, in mobile and tapped the sent button.

She let out a sigh in relief, she felt her heart light like a balloon....

She lyed down next to her baby, looking at her peaceful face, she closed her eyes to sleep.



*********

Ramya made up her mind and took a decision, but there's always one thing called 'fate', let's see what happens....


To be continued.....