Ummid: An Excellent Nurse Who…
By JIRARA
© JIRARA, October 2020
Published by JIRARA on matrubharti.com
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Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction as far as all the characters, their names and the names of all the events are concerned and all these are imaginary and hence any resemblance to the persons (and their lives) dead or alive, and any places are coincidental. Even if a few events might look realistic/’real’, these are fictionalised and the associated names are changed in order to maintain their privacy, honour, and security. No intention whatsoever is meant to hurt any feelings of whosoever, irrespective of their personal/cultural beliefs, social or political inclinations, religion-orientations/practicing/philosophy, life styles, and work/business. The ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘me’, and ‘mine’ (if any used) do not necessarily mean the author of this book, and these and other such pronouns: her, hers, his, he, she, him, you, your, yours, ours, theirs…; are used for effective personification and dramatization, and the readers should not take these on their ‘own persons’. The readers should take these stories/verses/thoughts with/in good spirit. The presented ideas and material are based, where feasible, on readings and (thought-) analyses of scientific/other open literature (which seemed most profound and trustworthy), with as much care as possibly taken. The readers are requested to verify these notions on their own, and use their own discretion. However, these stories/verses/ thoughts/ideas (mostly original) are expressed here with an intention of increasing awareness of the readers with a hope that in an overall sense, their (and ours) consciousness would be heightened (in all and multiple directions), so that we all can live our lives on this planet with true happiness, ever-lasting peace and real joy (irrespective of our orientations). The author and the publisher will not be responsible for any negative effects/situations arising as a result of reading these stories/verses and/or following the suggestions if any. No discussions/dispute of any kind will be entertained at any time and in any way, manner, and/or forum. JIRARA.
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Ummid: An Excellent Nurse Who…
She was born in a remote village far from the hassles of the distantly situated towns in the prominent district of one of the most industrialist states in the country. Her father was a police constable in the then capital city of the state. He was highly disciplinarian by nature as well as due to his training related to his job. He had two daughters and two younger sons.
Ummid was the first and only lady who stood number one in her village in her matriculation examination. No doubt, her parents were very proud of their daughter as well as of themselves, that they gave very good education (kelvani/shiksha) to their first daughter, who herself felt very proud, since all the other girls and even the boys in the village were lagging behind in their studies, examinations, and overall education. And in fact it was really a great and proud moment for the entire village that was thriving with mainly farmers, and only had one small school, and a few shops; since for high-school studies and getting bigger goods the men and boys of the village had to go to the neighbouring bigger villages and towns.
Just after passing her matriculation, her parents got her married, this was nearly 55 years ago, to Aribhan, who had not even passed his 11th standard examination, and was quite elder to her; but this was acceptable since those days boys would not study beyond even primary school, and then get engaged in the jobs of their fathers, mainly farming or some small business, or some jobs in police departments, in nearby towns.
In the beginning the life was tough for the couple, more so for the newly wed bride, who found that her husband was not doing much, and was not earning enough money. Also, she became the mother of her first girl baby, and her worries started working on their plans. So, the lady very wisely decided to go for some vocational course, and finally chose the line of nursing, that suited her best at that time; and so she registered for the course in the city where her father was employed, so that her mother could take care of her children. Eventually she had two boys, and then decided to stop.
She in the process got diploma, and also degree in nursing and got employed in the civil hospital of the same city. She continued her practice for several years, and during the same time her husband did small odd jobs; running an auto-riksha, and a pan-masala shop, and even being an agent for a tobacco company, and so on; but his income was not enough to support the family; and he also got into a habit of smoking, mainly due the kind of jobs he was engaged in. Hence, there were always lots of arguments between the two, back and forth on individual responsibilities, supporting the growth and education of their three children, and having a safe place/house for their regular stay. The distress increased to a level where from, they started becoming too opinionated and cynical about each other’s sincerity, hard work, and ‘selfish’ motives; the love took a back stage, and the life became challenging, and even a drudgery.
In the process of time somehow they remained together for the sake of the future of their own children, and eventually got them married with reasonable expenses and established good ties with the new families of their one daughter and two sons. The mother wanted to have full credit, which in fact she deserved so, for seeing that her children were fully educated, settled in their jobs, and in their lives; latter is considered so only if the children get married, otherwise it is said that the kids are not settled at all; the age old belief and convention.
The nurse got a few accolades for her own work and achievements, since inherently she was very hard working, sincere and honest nursing sister. This was also reflected in the upbringing of her three children, they got descent degrees, jobs and good spouses; in fact her own daughter became a nurse as well.
The hard work, and success of the same, and her own initial highest rank in her village, all set into her mind (no doubt she had by that time become a self-made and very successful professional woman), and her egoistic nature started playing its role in her personality of which she remained largely ignorant, or may be unconcerned. This only aspect, the ego, that she has had made her house the home/the family of very successful people, except her own husband who according to her has/had not done anything, (despite the fact that he was always supporting her in all her endeavours, and external dealing of the family, supporting the children’s educations, at least in terms of logistics, fatherly guidance, attending to their health issues, and so on) itself started to push her downward on the cycle of her un-chequered life so far.
She took this aspect very seriously, and now since her three children were settled in good jobs, in their married lives, and that each one had one child of their own (eventually each had two), the nurse one day had unpleasant arguments and serious quarrel with her husband, and then left her husband and went away to another city in the same state, and got her job transferred to this new place, and in fact started staying with a man who helped her settle in the new city (in fact, she was in touch with this man for some time by now). The nurse (and her husband) did not take any official divorce, since this would have been a shame to them because they would be looked down upon in their respective native places, and that the act of legal separation would have affected the families of their own daughter and two sons. The nurse also gave a strict instruction to her three children not to help their own father who was then left lurking, and wandering from one place/ashram to another; because there was no other option for him except finding a place where he could have a shelter and meals free; he could not go to his native place to live with his father’s family, that would have been a prestige issue for him. Only certain ashrams would come to rescue, but even here he had to do some work, which was not a very hard work though, and the life was largely peaceful, and assuring. Unfortunately, here also he faced some issues because of his hot temper, and he had to shift to another place, and in the process he kept doing this a couple of times, because he did not have any great financial support from his children; on the contrary he had transferred his own land to his elder son’s name, and he himself became sort of a pauper, whereas his three children were reasonably rich.
Despite the strict directive from their mother, the three children used to take care of their father in some ways as per his emergency needs, of course clandestinely hiding the facts from their now bossy mother who was illegally or illogically staying with another man, without formal separation from her legitimate husband and the father of her three children. The sense of vengeance was working in her mind all the time; the grudge was that she did everything and took every pain for their children, and their father did not do anything for them and for her also; however, by the most considered opinions this was an unreasonable accusation on the poor husband, who himself mostly agreed with her claims, and was ready to do anything, except on the financial front, for them within his capacity; of course this ability was not so great in its dimension.
When her husband’s younger brother went to her to persuade her to go back to her own family, and stop staying with the new man, she heard his advice, but totally ignored; she remained adamant, she wanted her husband to realise the same and more hardship than she herself has had gone through, in raring her children. Here, she flaunted all the descent manners of an otherwise mature lady, wife, mother, and very successful professional.
Years ago she was often vocal on the issues of independence of women in her own clan-community-society, and used to give lectures in some public places; and even once she spoke from the same platform/dais from which her father-in-law used to give lectures; who himself was a reformist, and social worker, besides being a law professional. Unfortunately, the father-in-law never might have imagined that his smart and professionally successful daughter-in-law would leave his own son, her own husband wandering like a monk.
Although his three children loved him, and looked after him occasionally, they never allowed him to stay with them, mainly because of their nurse-mother’s strict commandment, and/or their own personal family restrictions.
Eventually and gradually, the life started ebbing away for the nurse, she faced several health issues of her own, her eyesight became very poor beyond any sensible means of the treatment, had a constant pain in her back, may be because of her hard work and overtimes in the nursing homes/hospitals, and then after her retirement, the new man that she had chosen to live with, created the circumstances that pushed her to go back to her own house which she had left several years ago; may be the man was too selfish, and knowing that the nurse has had developed several health problems, and some psychological issues, decided to dump her away, otherwise she would have been burdensome to him and his treasury.
She spent some years in isolation in her old house from her own family members, stayed alone; where she used to be taken care of, and looked after by some neighbours on the instructions and the arrangements made by her three children who were staying in the cities of their own jobs. Occasionally, the children would visit her, but she was not able to travel because of her recurring back pain, and very poor eyesight. She lived in a shear isolation, cut-off from all her relatives and friends, and still she never relented on the husband; and eventually succumbed to the abode of nothingness.
In fact, knowing that her condition had gone bad, and even it might be irreversible, her husband, on the hints from his children, quickly visited her, was on her bed side for the last few days she lived. It is not clear that she would have recognized him, because of near total loss of her eyesight; maybe she would have recognized his voice, but, nobody knows what might have transpired between them during this last ordeal of the nurse; was it (mutual) reconciliation, forgiveness, repentance, or anything else remains a mystery.
After the initial post-death rituals for her, her husband went back to the same ashram where from he had come to see and meet her during her last few days; may be now there was no purpose served for him, that his own wife was no more, and that all those last several years he had stayed in shear isolation and far away from her, he might have got used to it; or if he stayed here in her house, her ‘soul’ might haunt him and he would be crushed under the burden of repentance, remorse or anything else.
What odd turns, the ugly diversions, and the curved paths, the lives of even hard working, sincere, and otherwise lovely human beings, take no body perhaps can predict; what is in the womb of time who can divine?
Ummid an otherwise excellent nurse who; even though she had nursed hundreds and hundreds of patients for decades, and she herself was nursed by several (including her husband, though occasionally); could not or did not ‘nurse’ her own husband.
May her soul rest in peace.
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