Chapter – 8: Excuse to feel proud
Jay once told me. When we think from the bottom of the heart we get the goal. We get what we want. On that day In the jungle while I was running even though I was doing what I wanted to do. Something was not right. my heart was not ready for it. Within those moments lots of things were bothering me.
Voices were playing with me in my mind. In the end, they won I did what they said. Sometimes we do things that we are not supposed to do. We have to pay for what we have done. I wasn’t ready to live in society. I felt like I don’t belong there. What if I didn’t escape the thoughts and everything I learned here. What if I started to make things worse. Even though I hated the COA base so much, that place made me feel warm, gave me food, made me feel like I am at home. Maybe I was afraid about the fact that I will have to struggle to live in society, Every day I will have to struggle to get food, get a place, to feel safe at night. I will not survive there. The way I hurt Tarif for money to get food, I was afraid I will do that again.
I went back to the Military camp. Told the fake Story to them. They sent me back. After two weeks I was back at the camp. New kids were already there.
She opens the door of her residency. In the hall, she sees Zen and Arif. Arif is reading Book. Zen is about to complete folding his clothes.
“I came back” Annie
Zen completes his last fold and leaves for dinner.
“There is no Welcome Party for you.” Zen.
Annie and Arif both hear the door closing. After confirming that he left.
Arif looks at Annie. He was waiting for Zen to leave.
“You made a mistake Annie” Arif
“I thought you all were going to run. You didn’t go. Why?” Arif.
“You already knew we are going to run. still, you didn’t inform anyone. Why?” Annie
No one talks. Both are looking at each other. Annie suddenly remembers something.
“You failed the exam on purpose.” She smiles.
She remembers the test of mine planting. Where Arif and Zen failed. Now she realizes that Arif made mistake by reason.
Arif leaves her and goes outside. Annie didn’t leave him. She follows him.
Arif opens the door.
“Wait. That means I am right” Annie
“You can’t leave like this, tell me why you didn’t inform them” Annie grabs his hand from the corner.
“The day Taya died. she was about to die. Albert was before her. She knew her death is before her. Jay and Taya nodded to each other. It was real quick. I thought it was just my imagination that Taya and Jay were working together. But it wasn’t after a long time, I saw you burning something in the woods. I checked there after you were gone what I found was a small burned piece with a drawn map. Then I realized that I was right that Jay and Taya were working together. That means Bagus was already aware of this. After all, Taya was his mentor and Jay was ..”
“is..sorry to interrupt. but he is still my mentor” Annie
He looks at her and continues.
“Jay is your mentor the way you burnt it after a long time of jays gone. that means you were aware of that mission and you were waiting for him to come back. He didnt ran after Taya's death.The way he suddnely disappeared. That means the mission wasn’t definitely the escape from this place. It was nothing but saving kids. That’s why I didn’t leave. That’s why you came back?”
He looks at her. He was waiting for the answer.
Annie was looking at him.
“Annie..” Arif
“uh. Yes right, That’s why I came back” Annie.
They both were in thoughts and suddenly some voice interrupts their thoughts.
“That’s really great analysis Arif” someone from their behind interrupts them.
They both are in shock. Their eyes are wide open. They turned back. It's Raymon. she gives evil smiles to them. And all of sudden she kick Arif. he gets hit on the wall and falls. Before Annie should do anything she hits her on the head with the back of the gun and she falls.
“You really made a mistake Annie”
Raymon was listening to them. She just came there to meet Annie. She was happy that Annie was back.
Annie and Arif are in the Cellar. It is all dark place no window. There is a fence before them. Annie opens her eyes. Arif is already awake.
“Good morning”
“Both are awake” someone yells from outside the cell to notify Albert.
Albert comes with a chair sits before them.
“I never thought you will do this. I was having such expectations from you. But doesn’t matter now. ”
“You know what Annie when I got the information that Meera and Bagus ran and you didn’t. I felt like you are a true child.”
Annie neglects him.
“Academy head was so happy she wanted you to enroll their”
“What?” ANNIE.
” Ohhh. I am sorry you really don’t know about academy." he smiles
"COA academy. You know nothing little punk” he yelled at them
“still tried to run from here what you thought you will run from here .go in the outside world. enjoy life. Eat ice-creams. No, if you run we will find you we will bring you back,We will kill you. We will not stop haunting you”
Annie and Arif. both were in shock they were not having any idea there are more org of COA like "The Academy". She knew there are more bases it was just thought. but Acemdy, She was lost in thought of how many bases are there?, how many academies are there?. How many kids are trapped here.
“I had so many expectations from you. But its end now”
“Get them in line” he stood up
“Sir. It's urgent from the Academy” Raymon gives him a phone
“What?”
“But”
Next minute it felt like he is not boss of here. The way he was talking before all changed. “Yes mam”
“Both?”
“Yes mam”
He hangs the phone and throws it on the wall and yells.
“We have to send them to to The Academy”
“What?” Raymon
“didn’t you heard me?” he yells at Raymon
we really are weird. we wish for the stupid things. We feel happy when we get praised by people. we want condolence, sympathy, comfort from others when we are sad. Even though we say we shouldn’t expect things from others, we expect a lot. Sometimes we lie to ourself to be a hero in our own eyes. We give reasons for ourselves to feel proud. That’s what I didn’t want to accept the fact that I came back because I feel this place like home, I didn’t want to accept that I am afraid to be part of society. That was making me feel coward and ugly in my own eyes.and by giving the reason of kids. I guess I gave my self a Excuse to feel proud of my self.
