December passed in search of Archana but the searching didn’t help. The special investigation team of Delhi also declared Archana as ‘gone girl’. They closed the investigation.
According to the chief, Victor would have killed Archana otherwise it’s impossible to find a girl for special investigation team.
Shyam also though if Victor hadn’t killed her he would have used her as a bait to get the laptop. He had to accept Archana had gone.
*
When Archana had entered the school campus at Deoli, she was no longer Archana. She was Surbhi. She felt it would be a wonderful place for her son to grow up in, with plenty of room for him to run around as there were a vast playground and a considerable garden. Later, he would have a small tricycle. There would be all the secrecy and security here that they would need, for Archana was determined that this was going to be a world that belonged to her and her child.
The mistress selected such a safe place for her that Victor could never reach to Archana even he would come to know about her hiding place.
Deoli being a training centre of C.R.P.F. is always crowded with soldiers. To trespass in this school and especially in the girl’s hostel is impossible for Victor.
The mistress told her tales of Victor and warned her never to go out from the campus even by mistake.
To save from Victor, she wasn’t supposed to use cell phone or internet. Archana shut herself off from the world in every possible way. She stopped reading the newspapers and would not watch television. She was afraid perhaps any human eyes even from newspaper or television could see her. Her universe was here within the campus of the school. This was her nest, her womb, the place where she was going to bring her son into the world.
*
Deoli is a town having a population of thirty thousand but for people of the deserted state like Rajsthan, it is a city. The city located in Tonk district and 85 km far from Kota. People of Rajsthan, as well as other states, became familiar to Deoli due to two reasons – one is ‘Train to Deoli’ a story by Ruskin Bond and other is C.I.S.F. training centre.
In the residential school of Deoli, the primary school is set up for children of officers of C.I.S.F. training centre. the facility is rain in the hot summer for the parents from the village who are fascinated to send their children in English medium.
Every mouth has different rumours about Surbhi. Some would say Surbhi is a handicap lady and in a small town like Deoli in the deserted state of Rajasthan no one is ready to serve as an English teacher hence she got a job.
Some would say her husband was in the army and martyred at Kashmir border hence she rewarded the job.
The C.I.S.F. chief could not neglect officially reference letter but in fact, an order was written by the mistress of government hostel at Gohana as she was her Hema Malini at the time of the release of Shole.
The C.I.S.F. chief and the mistress could not marry due to social taboo of that time and the mistress was still missing and the people knew the chief was a widow but people were wrong. No one knew the past of this couple as this secret was also buried in their belly like many others.
Surbhi didn’t want to let anybody know the reality.
She never went out of the campus after she had come here. No the footsteps on the sand of campus were from the person coming to see her. People began to doubt Surbhi had no relative. She had no cell phone and the doubt of people turned into confidence.
She never read the newspaper. She never watched T.V. she was afraid eyes of Victor’s photo even from newspaper or T.V. could see her and…
She did two notable works after coming here.
One – she changed the ratio of students studying in Hindi medium and English medium.
Two – she had prospered the school library with Hindi and English novels.
The third notable task was not done by Surbhi but it was notable because she became Surbhi due to that task.
All mark sheets upto the B.A. of dead student Surbhi of Gohana Hostel had been suited her without ant changes.
The mistress had given her a new identity of the college on which the name was printed- Surbhi and she was successful to get PAN card having name Sutbhi with help of that college identity.
The mistress wanted to keep this fact so secret that she kept even her old lover in dark.
Mistress had deleted the fact from her mind that Archana was Surbhi and Archna never wanted to remember the fact.
*
First January didn't seem a New Year day to Shyam. He decided to leave the place. If Archana was dead he had no meaning to stay there.
During the meal in canteen he said, “Charmi, there isn’t any clue of Archana. I think I should go now?”
“Why do you always think about her?” she said, awkwardness aside.
“Then about whom I should think?” he questioned.
“Victor. He has killed Archana. Don’t you want revenge?”
“I’ll.” His eyes grew red.
“Then stay for a month. If Archana is dead then we will focus on the hunt for Victor.”
Shyam knew there wasn’t any clue of Victor. They even didn’t know how he looks but Charmi was worried for him. shyam knew she didn’t want to see him go. Perhaps she felt fear if Shyam would go out Victor will kill him.
“I have nothing to here and that makes me boring.” He said.
“I’ll try to find some work for you.” She said.
As Charmi had said she requested the chief so he gave Shyam parttime job of office accountant.
*
She kept herself busy during the day in teaching in class, working in the kitchen and reading novels whenever she had any free time hoping she would be able to sleep at night, but the demons had returned, torturing her with unspeakable nightmares. She would never share her nightmares to any else.
Archana's abdomen was getting bigger, and she got her female students to go into the village to buy maternity clothes. She began to order toys through other teachers of her school. She had ordered a tiny tricycle. And she laughed at herself. This is ridiculous. He hasn't even been born yet. It's going to get rough. Kids grow up. They ask questions. He'll want to know who his father is. But I'll handle it. She began to think about the child in advance.
Every two weeks a lady doctor, her obstetrician would visit her and she charged only a cup tea for a home visit. Archana obediently drank more milk than she wanted, took vitamins and ate all the proper, healthy foods. She was getting large now and clumsy, and it was becoming difficult for her to move about. She had always been active in spite of her disability, polio, and she had thought she would loathe getting heavy and awkward, having to move slowly; but somehow, she did not mind it.
There was no reason to hurry anymore. The days became long and dreamy and peaceful. Some diurnal clock within her had slowed its tempo. It was as though she were reserving her energy, pouring it into the other body living inside her.
She read every book she could get her hands on about raising children, Successful Parenting, How to look after kids and Child Development and back again. She was tortured by the word parenting and she read The Single Mother. She wasn't satisfied with Hindi books and turned to the English. She read On Becoming The Baby Wise. She read The Attachment Parenting Book thrice as if she were a student appearing to any exam.
It's beautiful, Archana. Really beautiful. You've done a hell of a job. she looked at her own swollen abdomen. How long is it going to be? Another two months. She put his hand against her belly and said her own self, "Feel this."
She felt a kick.
"He's getting stronger every day," Archana murmured proudly.
One morning, the doctor examined her and said, "Another two weeks, Surabhi."
It was so close now. Archana had thought she might be afraid. She had heard all the old wives' tales of the pain, the accidents, the malformed babies, but she felt no fear, only a longing to see her child, an impatience to get his birth over with so she could hold him in her arms. Nancy, her student- a primary student once came to her room, bringing with her a drawing book and a dozen water pens.
"He'll love these," Nancy said.
And Archana smiled because she had said, "he." An omen.
The first pains came at three o'clock in the morning. They were so sharp that Archana was left breathless. A few moments later they were repeated and Archana thought exultantly, It's happening! She began to count the time between the pains, and when they were ten minutes apart she woke up Nancy who had started to live and sleep at her room for routine help and any emergency need. Surbhi was driven to the hospital, she got frequent contractions before reaching the hospital. A few minutes later the doctor was examining her.
When she finished, she said reassuringly, "Well this is going to be an easy delivery, Surbhi. Just relax and we'll let nature take its course."
It was not easy, but neither was it unbearable. Archana could stand thepain because out of it something wonderful was happening. She was in labour for almost eight hours, and at the end of that time when her body was wracked and contorted with spasms and she thought that it was never. Going to stop, she felt a quick easing and then a rushing emptiness and a sudden blessed peace.
She heard a thin squeal and the nurse was holding up her baby, saying,
"Would you like to take a look at your son, Surbhi?"
Archana's smile lit the room.
His name was Shlok and he weighed in at eight pounds, six ounces, a perfectly formed baby. Archana knew that babies were supposed to be ugly at birth, wrinkled and red and resembling little apes. Not Shlok. He was beautiful. The nurses at the hospital kept telling Archana what a handsome boy Shlok was, and Archana could not hear it often enough. The resemblance to Shyam was striking. Shlok had his father's black eyes and a beautifully shaped head. When Archana looked at him, she was looking at Shyam. It was a strange feeling, a poignant mixture of joy and sadness. How Shyam would have loved to see his handsome son!
Archana had wondered how she would feel about her baby, had worried whether she would be a good mother. Babies were surely boring to be around. They messed their diapers, demanded to be fed constantly, cried and slept. There was no communication with them.
I don't really feel anything about him until he begins to speak, Archana had thought. How wrong, how wrong. From the moment of Shlok's birth, Archana loved her son with a love she had never known existed in her. It was a fiercely protective love. Shlok was so innocent, and Victor so wicked.
Surbhi and Shlok were brought in her room in the school campus. She was terrified she might do something wrong that would kill the baby. She was afraid he might stop breathing at any moment. The first time Archana made Shlok’s formula, she realized she had forgotten to sterilize the nipple. She threw the formula in the sink and started all over again. When she had finished she remembered she had forgotten to sterilize the bottle. She began again. By the time Shlok's meal was ready, he was screaming with rage.
There were times when Archana did not think she would be able to cope. At unexpected moments she was overwhelmed with feelings of unexplained depression. She told herself that it was the normal postpartum blues, but the explanation did not make her feel any better. She was constantly exhausted. It seemed to her that she was up all night giving Shlok his feedings and when she did finally manage to drop off to sleep, Shlok's cries would awaken her and Archana would stumble back into the nursery. Her female students helped her in every way to cop the situation. Nancy would hold and bathe him. She and her students talked to Shlok constantly, and when he was four weeks old he rewarded them with a smile. A smile!
Her students always liked holding Shlok. She let them hold Shlok in their arms. But she could not help thinking, Shlok will never have a father to hold him.
*
March has ended. Charmi started to train Shyam. She taught him how to use a gun, how to aim, how to throw knives etc. Perhaps Shyam hadn’t noted but Charmi was taking a personal interest in him.
*
31 March, 2017, Shyam decided to leave the army unit forever.
“Are you going?” charmi entered guestroom. Now Shyam was so different, his hair was long, so was his beard and moustache. His lips had grown black due to cigarette smoke and hit. He wasn’t looking like a teacher.
“Yeah. I have to go now.” He said, “Now I have nothing to stay here. Even Victor is too far to reach.”
“Will you miss me?” she said.
“You have saved my life. I owe you.” He said emotionally, “how can I forget you?”
“When will you leaving?”
“Today.”
“Can’t you stay?”
“For what? For whom I had come to here isn’t in the world. I lost my dad and didn’t get a chance to apologize him. I have come here to fulfil Archana's dream so she shouldn’t decide like Kajal but I can’t save her. She is dead.”
“Who is Kajal?” charmi asked as she hadn’t heard that name before.
Shyam told him everything about Kajal. How he fought with his father for her and why she liked Archana.
When Shyam ended Charmi was drawn in emotion.
“Can’t you stay for me?” she said.
“I love Archana.”
“Shyam, sorry but there isn’t any chance of her surviving.”
“Charmi, I owe you my life but what you said isn’t possible.”
“Okay, Shyam.” She said, “I won’t force you but remember one thing the same loss I will suffer when you go which is suffering your heart for Archana.”
“I want to see my family,” he paused, “I want to go Gujarat, at least for once.”
“Will you come back?”
He nodded, unable to break the heart of the girl who has saved his life.
“You should go after ten days,” Charmi said, her eyes shone with happiness.
“Why after ten days?”
“I’ll manage a gun with a licence for you in these ten days.” she said, “You need it in the way to home.”
“Okay.” Shyam felt it reasonable. He wasn’t out of danger and really needed a gun.
What the strange feeling was it! Once he was eager to go Chandigarh from Gujrat and now he was eager to go home, GUJRAT.
***
To be continue...
