Chapter : 5
“Karvatein badalte rahe sari raat hum, aapki kasam,
Ghum na karo din judaai k hai bohot hi kam, aapki kasam
Yaad tum aate rahe, ek bhukh si uthti rahi
Neend mujhse, neend se me bhagti chhupti rahi
Aag si jalti rahi fir pi vahi sabnam, aapki kasam”
“Mummy, you must learn doing one work at a time, either to listen all your old songs or doing your household work, literally you are spoiling my sleep and charm of these songs” I spoke.
“You will not wake up till noon, so when I am going to do my work? You should wake up early in morning or else I will stop arranging your room, look at this stuff everywhere, and see you are sleeping on your headphones” Mummy spoke.
“It’s ok if everything remains here and there, what change it will bring if all items at their correct place?” I asked arranging my pillow.
“Arranging things is just like arranging your thoughts, you will get clear idea which thing you should pick and you will be able to see all the available options to you” Mummy said keeping AC remote on table.
“Thought process can never get clear because it follows duality of nature, you will always see two option in everything, you will always find two paths and sometimes more than that and confusion lies here because you see hope in every path you have thought” I spoke.
“Hope is dangerous thing, because it leaves you at a point from where you will start changing your thoughts, changing your direction of life” Mummy spoke.
“Leaves you at a point means?” I asked.
“Suppose you are working on some project, and let’s say you realised that you are failing now, if there is only one and last project then this hope will be biggest strength to you, it will help you to fight but we humans don’t think like that. We humans always choose duality, dual options for any work like if this didn’t work then we will go that way. So when you see failure in your project you divert your mind on the other one, when you need to fight hard, you just left it with no hope because your hope in other option certainly became much higher than the previous one” Mummy spoke. I thought for a while.
“Have you observed these things within you?” Mummy asked.
“I think I let go many things like this, outlayers, MBA…” I spoke, eyes down.
“What about girls you liked, there are three four names in my mind, can we apply this theory in that?” Mummy spoke. I looked up, surprised.
“Wait…Wait…How you came to know about their names?” I asked looking at my mummy; she stopped working and looked at me with smile without blinking an eye for seconds.
“Oh Oh Oh…it is you, in portrait of mummy today” I spoke looking straight, the inner me smiled broadly.
“Why? I mean changing your clothes every day, seems like you are playing a game” I spoke.
“I want you to know what you are thinking exactly, what you exactly want and who will know you better other than your mom?” Inner me asked.
“What I want?” I spoke and laughed a little looking down.
“Duality” inner me spoke.
“What should we do then?” I asked.
“Make your plan, wait for correct time and perform your karma till then” inner me spoke.
“I can’t see any plans now” I spoke.
“It is already there, in your subconscious mind. You just need to accept that and keep performing your karma till correct time arrives” inner me spoke.
“What if I became weak or got diverted?” I asked.
“Skanda” inner me spoke.
“What?” I asked.
“Whenever you feel you are losing, you need to fight back again with energy and motherly energy will help you to fight back. Skanda means your own mother. It is the energy which will be highest in you because you are part of it” inner me spoke.
“What is happening with me? I was not like that. I used to keep my ego as my power but this time there is no ego in me, there is no ego to keep her away from me. I became vulnerable. Things are just happening with me, I didn’t start anything, even I tried to control but…you already know that it’s not working” I spoke, inner me laughed.
“You are healing my friend. The motherly divine energy advised us to wait for correct time. To wait for our time” inner me spoke and disappeared.
I checked time, it was two in midnight, I sleep again.
