Chapter : 3
Kora kagaz tha ye man meraa,
Likh liya naam ispe teara…
Suna aagan tha jivan meraa…
Bas gaya pyaar jis pe tera…
“Literally, I mean what is going on within you?” I heard the same voice again but I ignored.
“Toot na jaaye sapne, mai darta hun
Nis din sapno me dekha karta hun”
“Now please open your eyes and break this every day’s dreamy conversation happening between us” inner me spoke. I opened my eyes and looked straight, I found replica of mine sitting on chair in front of me.
“Oh! Today you got the correct costume, you are me now” I said and smiled.
“I am here to discuss some stuff, It is my duty to let you know our mind is controlling both of us and your heart was busy in writing someone’s name in blank pages” inner me spoke.
“What? Our mind! I thought you are voice of my mind” I uttered.
“I am not our mind’s voice, I am your voice and while our mind is controlling us now other side our heart is slowly falling in love” inner me spoke.
“So what should we do now?” I asked.
“As I told you yesterday, ‘perform our karma without any expectation’ inner me spoke.
“I am ok with that, what is the issue then?” I asked.
“Our mind” inner me spoke, I looked at him, confused.
“Chandra” inner me spoke and stood up.
“Chandra means moon and it is related to mind, something that which charms the mind, we can call it embodiment of beauty, whenever something appear beautiful to you it is because of the mothers’ divine energy there” inner me spoke.
“Ok, so she is entering in our mind and I am placing her somewhere else, that’s what you are trying to explain” I argued.
“I am trying to explain the energy here, if energy is not there then nothing is beautiful. However beautiful face some may have, if there is no life then you don’t call it beautiful. You don’t see beauty in dead bodies because there is no energy” inner me spoke and paused a little.
“It is the energy which brings beauty in kids. It is the energy which brings beauty in animals” inner me spoke.
“I still not getting the point you are trying to convey” I spoke looking straight.
“You just spoke she is entering in our mind! Correct, but parallel our mind also letting some additional thoughts which are totally based on expectation” inner me spoke. I keep looking straight for a while.
“What you are looking at?” inner me asked.
“It’s been a while when I looked at me like this, I am getting bulkier and loosing hairs day by day” I spoke.
“Could you just focus on the discussion now, please?” inner me asked.
“You are trying to convey that our mind started building expectation and later it will hurt me” I asked looking into eyes.
“Probably” inner me spoke.
“Also, there is no filter on thoughts, there are thousands of thoughts and they are coming with such a flow which will waste our time. It will create loop in mind and you will keep thinking about that again and again, and as you think more, there will be more expectation” inner me spoke.
“What is required to be done in this according to you?” I asked.
“Let her enter in your heart instead of your mind” inner me spoke.
“Aisa mat kar, Pyaar ho jayega” I requested.
“Agar hona hoga to kuchh bhi kar le…hoga hi! Whatever can happen, will happen! That’s what Murphy’s Law suggests. You just need to play your part, if she is coming to your life then you can’t control, she will come! You just need to wait for correct time” Inner me spoke.
“What is the benefit of placing her in my heart?” I asked.
“Purity which is having strength to lose all your expectations” inner me spoke.
“Place her in your heart and you will see there is no expectation, you will forget everything and you will leave everything on time. You will accept every joy, you will accept every pain and you will enjoy one of the beautiful experiences of life called Love. Placing her in your heart, you will feel her presence, there will be no quarrel, there will be no emotion, there will be no negative thoughts and there will be no questions to answer, everything will be understood and believe me, you will know what is actual meaning of love. What you are feeling right now is the love experience by your mind, it has so much questions, so much thoughts and everything messed up within, it is not the purest form, you need to experience love from your heart” inner me spoke.
“Stop your mind’s dream and look within heart – Kora kagaj hai ye man tera! Likh de naam uspe…” sung the inner me and disappeared. I looked at wall clock, it was four in morning, I went back to sleep again.