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A flashback for memory losers

Some ladies think that after having "that" with someone they may cleanse their body and attain sanctification. Jawaharlal Nehru University students also believe in such things.Many yogis of the north undergo tapas with out bathing or performing oblations or having food, thinking that they will realise parabrahma and obtain siva bhandam Years pass and they attain samadhi Maybe in the next birth they become devotees of Lord Krishna and leading a happy prosperous family life performing all rituals and oblations without even questioning or rationalizing the daily rituals. Only their children will be of good character. That is no place for jealousy thinking that they had good children. Others cannot copy and paste their life.They don't feel publicising what they do.It is their will It is a good philosophy to think that nothing is good or bad in this world and should accept anything that come uninvited into your life. And never reject it. Once rejected never repent or revenge or try to prove that I was right.This is what I learned from Mridul Madam and my father? This does not mean that I will have lots of unwelcome friends in my life.This Vinods family members and elderly people should realize. And Dr. BM Anil Kumar should know that I would remain a good introvert my whole life. No, negative self talk as Mridul madam apprehends or that I am going to commit suicide.I want to write everything!

At the right time prescribed by a good astrologer, my parents had done religious rituals so that my marriage will take place. As prescribed by an astrologer it was my peak time.I, my father and some others knew this very well that we were offering Pooja's in a religious institution.

During those days my father was contacted by someone. Which I was not that aware. Once my mother had a person talk with me. And told that a proposal will come which is not that good.

Let them come and go She told this very secretly and told me that my father also knows this so you need not ask him. He's already aware. But I could not understand what it is? Then she told me that horoscopes were matching and it will be very lucky if it take place, but it is not that good. But I could not understand it as if fumes were in my brain and I slipped from the staircase,I was in deep trouble.

I joined bachelor's degree for economic in mar ivanios college when I was 17 -18 years old

were having university exam for the second year.After the first exam for the main subject economics I was having viral fever. So my mother told me that my father will drop me to the college since the exam will be conducted in the afternoon. My father told that he's going to his office. He has an urgent matter there and he will come back immediately after but even after 2:30 p.m he did not came back.My mother called my father. And he replied. If she is not well don't let her go and write the exam. But my mother asked me to wait until he comes back. He came back dropped me to the college in his old fiat car

When I went to the exam hall, after scolding me they allowed me to enter the exam hall, but they told that it was too late. There's nothing beneficial in writing the exam. And where was I? Until now ? My friends started murmuring that I was wandering here and there with someone and they knew who he is. I was very upset.


Felt like fainting so I went out of the exam hall after give after striking off the answer sheet and submitting it before the invigilator.

Later, I did not went to write any of the exams for BA degree second year and did not attend college during the third year for more than three or four months, but professors told my father to let me come back and write the exam since my attendance during the first and second year was almost a hundred percent. So there was no issue for them. Let her come occasionally. And it will be 75 percentage attendance.


Although my father's intention was to stop my studies since someone phone called him as he told me it was me " Meera .G.Nair" who told him that , I was not very well since I used to study a lot so I should stop studying.


During the third year,my brother found a new tution centre where he used to take me,in the transport bus according to my mother's advice almost all days in the morning And I used to come back along with my brother in auto rickshaw After the third year exam I was very depressed that I will not get first class, because of weak performance in subsidiary exams, but when the results were out I had first class. And my tuition master called me from his own parallel college and was almost crying and happy and wished me all luck for the future.


In the meanwhile, when I did not attend my college studies for some time my father Sasidharan Nair got an anonymous letter by post in Malayalam.It was addressed to my father. "Shashi chetta, Why are you not calling me? You forgot me? I am waiting for you for long time…." It was more than three pages. Postal letter written was in Malayalam in bad handwriting And my father told that it was he who did this

thinking that he's great. Then, I asked him who this he is. My father told that it was my grandfather. Who else ?


During the my third-year bachelor's exam. Meera g Nair was seen outside the exam hall very much worried. She said "how can sathya Sai Baba say this about me". As if someone fooled her also.


In the year 2014 just after my brother's engagement took place and marriage was cancelled,my brother went back to Ernakulam to his office. A few months later my parents received two postal letters one for my father and another for my mother.Both of them sat together a opened their respective letters,I was asked to keep distance. I thought it was my brother's letter. My mother's letter,I peeped through and saw was my father's letters Xerox copy.My father' s letter was written using Parker ball pen in very bad Malayalam handwriting.My mother tore her letter without reading and was crying. So I asked whether it was my brother,she told that he was not that kind of a person. My mother told my father not to read the letter,but he took the letter with him and got into his room. When he came back his face was glowing as if he was spellcast by the literary talent of the writer.My mother told that it was not my brother but his " friend" .Then I remembered my brother chanting mantras in Pooja room reading a piece of paper, he showed me for just one minute. It was the same handwriting. Someone was helping my brother to overcome his difficulties. It was in 2011.


After my engagement took place and marriage did not take place ,in 2017 my father and all relatives started to blame me. They knew that it was my fault for breaking away from the engagement with in one or two weeks. My father's relatives blamed me for being furious unlike sophisticated ladies,they see in life and that I talk vulgar things. Later in 2018, Mridul madam used to invite me to her cabin at times. She told me that, I was writing emails to a lady staffs husband. And that I should stop sending emails to him .So her husband wrote a complaint to them.He told them that they were married more than 15 years ago.It is a defame for his wife. So Mridul madam advised me to control my character and not to pester other people's husband.Their family life is in deep problem due my emails send to her husband.She also told me if I have some issues I should settle it with in my family and not to go after other's husband.She also told me that her daughter married at the age of 29.After three or four months she again invited me to her cabin to advise me not to trouble another lady's husband if I am not unmarried it is my problem not her. Then I asked her who that lady is and what her husband's name is? She did not give me a proper answer.That is why I made it public.Vinod s relatives are bad charactered.It is their problem.If Mridul madam wishes to transfer me let her try with chief minister. She will only fail other than official harassments which I could not prove with evidence.They may do as they wish.I changed my name for numerology sake and not to hide my real character.It is planning board official's superficial thinking.Let them over think.



Iknow very well that Mridul madam knows well to assess people and validate their sins and virtue. Still I wish to tell you that someone in pattom planning board office used to gossip that she thought that I was already married and my delivery was over because my stomach was bulging and things like that. Ok I am not that fit I agree doesnt mean that she should contact my relatives or keep in touch with my family members or buy my house for them.(Why what is wrong in it? They may wish to buy a house.So they must have enquired.These are all nonsense.Manju,I tell you you should concentrate on work alone don't pull up your family matters into your work.This is the only thing I expect from you? ) What if they really cheat my parents and buy the house? I will show you that album with protruding teeth and squinted eyes everything else was okay.I felt ashamed of myself so I never showed my engagement photo album to anyone.Thank you film director rajeevnath for saving my future,he never believed in horoscope.Karma Chandran is just a Binami someone else is behind this,who is the person behind this ,I don't know.He could park two cars and could lead a spacious life in my only house constructed by my dad. There is a genuine reason, it is very difficult to ride a car through jayabharath hindi vidyalaya road and the next leading road is very narrow for bolero vehicle (In the gps location of ebanazer mar Thoma Church perurkada Trivandrum the road is sticky during rainy season!)In the year 2015 they must have tried and had a scratch on their car when they went to chellapans house. So their family members came to see me for an arranged marriage when my family was living in kudappanakkunnu in 2016.I changed my name in 2018 for numerology sake but if planning board officials think that I did it to hide my character what could I do,it is their superficial thinking.Let them over think. Meanwhile in 2017 senior administrative officer Radhakrishnan sir invited me to his cabin to tell me that he is receiving anonymous postal letters from a person with the same handwriting writing abusive things about my bad conduct in the office and about my character. I thought it must be evaluation chief or joint director Madhu sir,those days chief was ill .So I mistook him.