I lost him…
Seriously….
How can he do that to me..
Wait a moment , let me recall what was happened exactly..
Last, when I smile? Before a week? No, before ten days he left me and ended everything with me. I think after that I didn’t smile.
Really!!!
So, you say that you laugh , you smile , you were happy. Right?
Actually No, (sad face , eye pointing towards earth).
Yes I laugh, I smile ,. I smile for his laugh, for his success, for his pj’s, for his comments, for his prank, for his love (blushing). He love to see smile on my face , he die for it . So, for him I smile.
You smile , you were happy. Right? Then where are you in this?
Ok . Move ahead.
When I cried last?.
How stupid?(tapping on her head)
Just few hours ago.
So , what was the reason?.
You know , he break up with me (tears rolled down from her cheek) . Which is unbearable. That makes me to cry.
And before that??
It not make sense. I cried many time . Even he says that I am ‘Rotlu’ type. (Her lips expand slightly) because I cried over silly things like, when he didn’t receive my call. When he drunk, when he ignore me ,when he forgot to leave morning message , when he chat with another girls , when he forgot memorable days of us, I cried when he forgot to give me tight hug when we meet. Yes, I remember, I cried a lot when he was leaving for Delhi. Its to hard for me to bid him with good bye.
So again you loose . Where are you in all your cry?
Fine!!!!Let me answer this.
Last when you get ready , put on make up and were new cloths?
Recently. His birthday party was there. I take complete two hours to get ready. (Lost in memory) . I shortlisted two party wears, one of pink (my favorite)and one of red color. He selected red one. I wear that one with open hair , put dark red color on lips. When I entered , he pretends like he was dying ., He compliment me , “killer look”.
OH !!!great . What about your favorite pink color dress.
(Her eyelids fall down with disappointment)
Do you believe in god?
Obviously yes.
If god wants to give you something. What will you ask for?.
He.
What for you? .
His happiness, his safety, his success.
Nice . Great.
What’s you favorite color?
Dark blue. He loves it .
OH !! I see, he love so ,its your favorite.
(Again disappointed)
What is your mobile password ?
OH come on!!! His birthdate obviously. Not only that , my email ids, social media accounts all have password related to him only.
Nice. You set that because , you may forgot about you , but you will never forget about him, his likes, his dislikes, his wishes, his birthdays. Right?.
Seriously dear!!!You loose again. You have to achieve good score to beat him, to lead leaderboard.
Now be serious and answer this wisely. (Scolding)
What you like to do, just after getting up in morning?
Like to do video chat with him, if not then my whole day will ruin.
And what before going to bed at night?
Obviously , I like to hang up with him.
What’s your weekend plan?
To spend time with him. To go for date with him.
What is your favorite movie genera?.
Love stories. Romantics. I hate action movie .
Which movie did you watch last time?.
An action movie of his favorite actor. It was a good date for us. (Blushing).
OH! I hope you are honest with your answers.
Seriously dude!!!!!
I cant understand.(scolding).
You accept everything because you want you relationship to be more strong. You tolerate everything because you don’t want any clash in between both of you. You mold yourself according to him, you change your preference, only because you want to make him happy. You want to be with him. You ignored everything, because you want his attention. Your priorities are changed . Your choice are converted to his choice. You changed . Don’t you think that your life is centralized to him only.
(Standing in front of mirror with full of disappointment and guilt. Guilt for herself).
My dear , where are you in this ?.Any way you get temporary relationship ,but you lost real you . Yes you lost yourself.
Oh Lord !!how cruel I am with me. I didn’t take care of myself.
Rishika gets up , take her mobile and dial his no.
Today she realize something , something that need to be realized before. She don’t want to waste single minute. Anyway its not too late now.
He decline her call.
She tries again and again.
Finally he receives call.
Rishika shouted literally.
Heyyy!!!
You lost me.
I lost you , but I found me.
With strong felling of self realization, she smile , she laugh , she cried . She put that her favorite pink dress. And all set to watch her favorite movie.
DEVANSHI KANANI
