Beyond The Water
(Translation of Hindi Novel - Jal Tu Jalal Tu)
(14)
“That’s ok Baba, but please tells me why you shouted Panna Panna when you saw Kinjan?” Emra asked.
Baba explained, “This ‘spirit’ that got itself stuck to Kinjan had appeared before me previously too, so I recognized it…”
Emra was astounded. Not a single word came out of her mouth and she just gaped.
She was bathed in cold sweat as she realized that the Baba was already well acquainted with the ‘soul’ or ‘spirit’ Panna, whom he had seen through Kinjan. He furthers explained that it is a spirit that has been wandering for the past four hundred years. It was incarnated and during rebirth got human body but couldn’t be pacified hence is compelled to wonder.”
The Baba continued, “The more obsession a person has for his family, caste, religion or socially the more is to be pitied. He doesn’t realize what ultimately happens in the life-cycle to his self that he regards as an identity connected with a group. He is unable to think about it. He has no proof to apprehend the cause and process of creation. Still he considers his physical appearance as an end and is perplexed throughout his life.
The Baba further added, “Years back this ‘soul’ was born as a woman and was living as a maid in the palace of a ruler.
One day due to some political turmoil, a ruthless and cruel ruler entered the palace with a naked sword in his hand to kill the future king of the state who was just an infant and was in care of this maid. The devilish assailant was bent upon killing the child. Just as the man going to commit this heinous crime was in the grip of devil, in the same way this woman, the prince’s nanny was overpowered by a sense of loyalty towards her ward, the future king. A flame seemed to grip her when she took a decision, a positive decision considering neither part nor future. She hid the prince in a bamboo basket and arranged to send him out with someone she trusted. She put her own son in place of the prince. Hence that innocent child, abandoned by his own real mother was brutally murdered in cold blood as the sword of that ferocious villain split him apart.
After relating this incident, the Baba burst into tears as if he himself was responsible for what had happened. Emra’s heart was heavy too.
After all this, this mother couldn’t convince herself why she did it. The most powerful and sacred relationship is still knocking around the labyrinth after this instance. When a die (female deer) dreams of the impossibility of saving her young one from the clutches of a tiger, this instance makes humanity murky just as that small tamarind shaped saffron coloured fish ejects smoke and makes clean water dirty. When a bird attempts to challenge venomous snake to save her eggs, this instance breaks her spirit by spreading darkness.
Emra’s both questions had been answered by the Baba but the turmoil for her hadn’t stopped. The Baba first shocked her by telling that the soul hadn’t found peace till now and yet another bigger shock shook her when she came to know that a few years the ‘soul’ was reborn in this earth as Kinjan’s mother.
Emra’s eyes opened wide and next moment she fainted. Soon all the dogs around the Ashram and even outside started howling and wailing.
When the chief saint heard these sounds, he ran barefooted towards the underground residence. The whole organization of the Ashram got upset.
The Baba was unsteady, unable to balance himself. The group of persons serving the Ashram just heard a few words the Baba had muttered. “This Ashram is soon going to perish. All of you go somewhere else.” The saint also reached there and as he tried to support the Baba he heard his last words, “I have for the first time in my life broken the pledge I had taken by talking to a woman. My divine powers have left me…I have to go back now…” he closed his eyes peacefully and fell down. His soul left his body, and he passed away.
Emra, who was in a state of coma, regain consciousness after many days. By then all the conventional services and rituals that were observed after the Baba’s death were over. It was only after the Baba left this world that she realized what price he had paid for meeting her.
There was none with whom she could share that her actual name was ‘Emrald’ which later became ‘Emra’. She had also come to know that in the Baba’s country ‘Emrald’ a precious stone was known as ‘PANNA’. She never disclosed the fact that before renouncing the world, she got married many times, had children, but as her nature and her destiny would have it, each time she was left alone. Ultimately she left all and became a run.
As each word of that old diary penetrated into her heart, Perina longed to meet Emra, just once. But, so much time had elapsed, she did not know where Emra was, whether she was alive and in case she was still alive, where was she?
The shock of Baba’s revelation before his death that the Ashram would perish soon staggered Perina. When she told Kinjan about the diary and the Ashram, he was conscious stricken and thought remorsefully he should have gone to meet the Baba at least once. But one cannot unwind time. The past never returns, it just leaves you with its memories.
The diary had one effect on Perina. She never lot Della’s daughters out of sight. The instance of the Baba, who had taken a pledge of never talking to a woman, filled her with an unseen binding to the girls and a very strong of motherly affection rose in her heart.
Emra’s diary brought another noticeable change in Perina. Many questions rose like smoke in her consciousness and were soon ablaze. Her life changed. She spent most of her time in reading God knows which type of books. She was totally engrossed in them.
The question that agitated her most was how cans a man known and respected for his spirituality achieve divinity by keeping himself away from women. Can he forget the moment when he emerged into this world? Is there any way of entering this world without the help of a woman? How can you neglect the woman in whose womb your own body was formed and who tolerated the severe labour pain to bring you into this world? Is it not a contrivance? A manoeuvre? Which God keeps the condition to abstain himself from woman to achieve divinity? Is there such a god in any country or society who can claim to run the world without woman’s role in it?
Della was surprised to know that most of her mother’s time was spent in library-where she went regularly. Even in market, she was more interested in book-stalls rather than the shops that sold clothes and jewellery. Della’s daughters, Sona and Silva took this change in their grandmother quite seriously hence Della was convinced that the career of her daughters was in safe hands. She spent some time with her mother and daughters and then went back to China.
Kinjan’s obsession of collecting all sorts of things was gradually changing as he was more interested now in discoveries and research. Perina’s interest in old books was of great help. No one knew what Perina and Kinjan were searching? What they were trying to find out? Sona and Silva, who had crossed adolescence and were on the threshbold of youth treated the old couple like friends.
Perina was the one who had taken charge of Kinjan’s business. Kinjan now hardly went out and Perina, whose curiosity kept her busy moved around quite a lot. She was more interested in going to Countries to work for the cause of women where people were narrow minded. She was bent upon questing the chiefs and in charges of the Countries who were trying to finish the existence of woman or did their best to treat her as a doormat, the chauvinists who regarded women as an inferior species and denied even basic rights to her, people who planned to kill the female phetus in the womb. She wanted to ask them about their strategy, their blue-print for the future of their society.
But Perina’s plans, that churned her mind and soul hung in air and could not be materialized.
When thoughts acquire maturity, body gets younger. Age becomes meaningless. That is why when Della informed Mom Perina about a mission that was soon going to begin, her joy knew no bounds and she jumped with excitement. Sona and Silva were delighted too because their parents were coming on a mission from China and were going to stay in America for a considerable time. Kinjan had tears in his eyes, not only because his daughter was coming back but because the pages of his life’s closed book were rustling to get opened.
Sona and Silva, both were cheerful girls with mature mind. They were more interested in seeing places of the world rather than their studies. Whenever they got a chance of visiting some place, they never missed it. Their first choice was a place that had water. Rivers, oceans, ponds and lakes were their choicest location. Last Saturday, they went to attend the live performance of an Asian pop-star and hummed a song…
Sometimes water is on stone, sometimes water is in sand. Sometimes water is in sky. Sometimes water is on land. Deep down the earth. Thirst for drops is hidden concealing itself from all eyes; water silently creeps to that end.
Really, turbulence of water is queer; all sorts of vessels float on its waves and sometimes sink in it… Sona used to play mandolin and Silva hummed. So many prescriptions are there in this world to keep oneself young. Those who depart from this world keep on coming back again and again. Isn’t it? When Silva sang, just like Rasbi, the world did not exist for her.
Della was coming and Perina was busy with preparations. It was after years that she was coming with her husband. Kinjan also looked at least ten years younger. When Sona and Silva had last seen their father, they were not even in their teams. And now they had their nameplates at their respective doors, Sona Rose and Silva Rose.
It is a moment of great pride for a father when he sees his children’s name plates outside their doors. Perina read Della’s letter many times and Kinjan lost no time in getting two rooms constructed at the backyard.
For parents, the tidings that their children are coming are like a fragrance that spreads all around, if they could do it they wouldn’t mind pushing the sky a little higher and the horizon, a little further.
Sona and silva were very particular and gave their full support in getting the new rooms furnished.
When three generations dream of living under one roof it becomes very interesting, the brand new generation is hardly interested in having much space, they have to spread their wings and fly, they aren’t going to spend their life in a golden cage.
The present generation wants more and more space, the more the space the better, a separate room for every activity. The older generation at the last threshold of life does not want its space to shrink or to wind up its activities. The youth thinks it is their avarice, but actually it is the fear of loneliness. They do not express it words but one constantly thinking, do not let loneliness come near us. After our death all this is yours.
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