Beyond The Water
(Translation of Hindi Novel - Jal Tu Jalal Tu)
(4)
Rasbi didn’t have money but she was very hard-working, thrifty and careful. She did not left Kinjan feel there was much lack of money as whatever. She had was for him only. But if he needed her hard earned money for his project she felt he was slicing her heart in bits to feed vultures. She discouraged him, accusing him of wasting his time and money.
Kinjan, on the other hand was only after his goal. What he ate or put on hardly mattered. He was prepared to be clad in minimum clothing on his sun tanned bronzed muscular body and contented by eating fish. But money was needed to make his project successful.
Rasbi looked after him very well, cooked variety of dishes and just hoped against hope that he would give up his crazy idea.
Rasbi had heard, if boys are shown the dreadful scene of their death, they are frightened. She decided to test it.
One night when Kinjan was sleeping comfortably in his room she got up stealthily, looked towards his room, took out some black small object from her shelf, hid it in her pocket, put on her old hat and went out. She returned after three hours, entered her room and went to bed as if nothing had happened.
Next morning when Kinjan opened his eyes he was shocked. Four skeletons were lying around him with his mother’s photograph pasted on the skull. Not only this, the taps recorder on the table was playing a mourning tune. He felt very sad. But he did not lose patience and went around with his daily routine though he ate nothing during afternoon. He observed that Rasbi, who had taken out her photographs and pasted them on skulls did not eat either.
Then one day he saw his mother packing her bags. He very well knew she had no other place to go. He was shaken a little as he could not imagine his mother wandering around homeless. His father hardly stayed at home as he had joined the army when was very young. So he did not miss him but mother was an inseparable part of home, bringing rations, cooking in the kitchen, cleaning the house, arranging his clothes, making his bed, nursing him when he was unwell. How could such a person raom on roads like a destitude. He couldn’t be that unconcerned. Very quietly he unpacked her bags and got busy in his daily routine. She mother looked very agitated, then left the things as such and busied herself in household cares.
She structure of metal wires was there in the middle of Kinjan’s room-which was to be mounted securely with thick coloured plastic. This colourful plastic ball meant defeat and losing her son forever for Rasbi and a new life and ‘Victory’ for Kinjan. Time was to be the spectator.
Suddenly, Rasbi remembered how four year back Kinjan had brought home a girl, his schoolmate. This guite of her thirteen year old innocent adolescent son had terribly frightened her and there was a reason for it. When saw that girl, she remembered her own childhood. She dark shadows that surrounded her in prison still haunted her. As soon as she saw a man, a male in the campus, he was suddenly transformed into a dried tree covered with reptiles, scorpion and came lions who at once rushed towards her to claw her body. Rasbi had no time to scream during that violent assault.
When, today, she turned the key into the lock and entered the room she was shaken up. Her thirteen year old son had become a dried tree when she saw a wild reptile rushing towards the innocent girl, Rasbi was aghast and lost all control over her.
The saying goes that iron cuts iron in the same way fear can cure fear. Four years back Rasbi was frightened when she saw the eleven year old girl with her thirteen year old son in her lonely house, now she suddenly remembered that girl. She very well knew that in spite of being annoyed with her son at that time, she was still his girl friend. He curtained to meet her regularly. She might help her. And if that girl insists, the taken may be turned and Kinjan might give up his inflexible altitude. His demented craze. She girls, whom she had tried to keep at a distance from her son seemed her only hope and she started making inquiries about her. She asked to bring her home.
His girl friend had been invited to their house by his own mother. The seventeen year old Kinjan could think nothing beyond that, so he must bring her. But of course he was careful too, the mother should not come to know about their intimate relationship and reate trouble for the girl. He tried to show he had only brought her at his mother’s biddung otherwise he was not concerned at all.
Every mother knows about her child’s favourite chocolate and a son cannot hide his infatuation for the girl he likes. She was playing her game and wanted the girl to discourage her son from his mad Endeavour.
But in this game too defeat awaited her. The girl told her frankly she was there to support Kinjan, to help him realize his dream by achieving what he wanted in life. Rasbi was disappointed and felt insulted.
This bewitching waterfall had tried Kinjan’s life into a small dose of water, just a handful that Kinjan wanted to gulp down but Rasbi was afraid. It could swallow his life. What should she do? Should she order a coffin box for her or take a potion to end her life before that doomed day dawned. There seemed to be no other option. Had she given birth to this son of here to keep his body in some museum as a mummy. When actually there was no chance that she would get his get dead body-even.
Rasbi did not know that giving birth to a human being doe, not mean to make them instrumental in fulfilling your dream; Dream is not an object of inheritances that you hand over to your son. You have given him life and he was full right over it. Rasbi was not keeping him safe by sending him to army. Was she!
Next morning when Kinjan, who needed something looked inside the kitchen he saw his mother had cut her vein with a knife and was still punching herself with it. Blood gushed out from wounds, the floor was covered with blood.
Kinjan’s friend who came every morning to encourage him and see the progress of his work took Rasbi to a nearly hospital. Kinhan’s girl friend also arrived after taking necessary help from a pharmany. Rasbi’s dressing had been completed and she was lying on bed, very still, very quiet. Kinjan took some time as he had called a mechanic. There had also been a problem with exterminator.
Doctor asked Rasbi to stay in the hospital till evening. Kinjan’s girl friend and other friends felt some time, them Rasbi opened her lips.
“Do you remember you were just there years old when your father took you to beach in California. The water terrified you,” she said, her gaze fixed on the ceiling.
“I am sure my father must have taken me into those waves to get sid of the fear I felt,” he said in an icy tone.
“when your father took you to lake for fishing salmons he made you eit at a distance. You were not allowed to come near water, he himself walked in scorching run to show you the basket containing fish.”
“Father must have known ultimately he would grow old and will not be there with me all my life to show me fish.”
“Shut up! Don’t talk nonsense!”
“…………….”
“You have played so much un your maternal uncle’s lap. What an excellent swimmer he was!”
Became so renowned in water sports at Columbia. Today he is on wheel chair.” Rasbi had tears in her eyes.
“She reason was aleohol, mixed with water. Water had nothing to do with it.”
“Don’t argue.”
“……………..”
“One ought to be afraid of death,” she was quiet for sometime and then said philosophically.”
“There is no fear in death itself. Death is very peaceful. Fear actually lies in fear of death,” he replied in the same tone.
“Army needs brave young man. Why can’t you go there?” she almost shrieked.
“Why make father’s and uncle’s lives exemplary in taking decision about my life? If we always follow examples from other people’s lives what to do with our life that is our own?” Kinjan put an innocent question to his mother.
Rasbi couldn’t comprehend how to convince Kinjan. The greatest problem was how could Rasbi convince herself!
The great, in fact the greatest waterfall of the world was advancing menacingly to swallow her son. How could she just be an unconcerned spectator.
Water has such a complex characteristic! Vessels sail across it in a high and mighty way and sometimes sink in it helplessly.
Rasbi tried to make him see sense in a philosophical way.
“Live your life fully. Till you get old” she smiled and blessed him like a saint.
“Is it in our hands?” Kinjan smiled too.
“My dear son, old age is so beautiful. Your whole being is saturated with experience you have gained. So many people who met you during life time. Continue to join the caravan of your memory. The marks of your mischief are there on the sands of time.”
“No more talking now. Sleep peacefully for sometimes.”
“Let me talk. Just as the more you beat the flour and butter the better sponge is there in your cake, the same way your bones in old age become pliable and hollow when you have enjoyed your life fully. They lose their proud stiffness.”
“Mom, you should take some rest….”
“Rest! Yes son, one feels so calm! Eyes have shadows of those fun fairs in which we used to roam around, Teeth still remember the taste of sweet of sweet and sour black and yellow fruits eaten long back, face becomes a tree on which memories are pasted like mulberries in the form of wrinkles, unstable feet on familiar are inseparable part of an exhaustion of spanning all roads on foot. Son, don’t let this blies slip from your hands, you must grow old.”
“Oh Mom! Even you have not grown old at present and I am so much younger than you”
“Yes, you are very young. But just think about it. You must live. Tell me, you will live, you have to remain alive.
Kingan laughed and continued to laugh. It was the laughter of an insane person. A nurse enterned the room. She was confused and could not make out whom to give injection.
Rasbi was back home after three days and got busy in different household cores, just as a spider starts working on cobweb automatically as soon as it reaches a well.
Kinjan’s closed boat was taking shape. It looked like a multi-coloured ball. Next day he wanted to take it the river for a trial. His friends Arnest was the only one to accompany him. he did not want many of his friends to be there. Ti would mean less work in an atmosphere of picnic.
***
