How my slogans evolved
Free Thoughts-
In Search of Meaning of Life
BY
JIRARA
All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, for any commercial purposes without the prior permission of the author and/or publisher.
© JIRARA (The Author), January 2020
Published by JIRARA
On matrubharti.com
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction as far as all the characters, their names and the names of all the events are concerned and all these are imaginary and hence any resemblance to the persons (and their lives) dead or alive, and any places are coincidental. Even if a few events might look real, these are fictionalised and the associated names are changed in order to maintain their privacy. No intention whatsoever is meant to hurt any feelings of whosoever. The ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘me’, and ‘mine’ (if any used) do not necessarily mean the author of this book, and these and other such pronouns (her, his, he, she, him,…) are used for effective personification and dramatization.
Dedication
To my mother
Smt. Trikamkunvarba R. Raol (Sitaba)
who has given me lot of love and taken immense care
and
In loving memory to my father
Sreemaan Vakil Ratansinhji Motisinhji Raol
(Advocate), my Baaji, who helped and guided me
to ‘think’ about “Life”
Also, this book is dedicated to my late grandfather, Sreeman Motisinhji Jethisinhji Raol, who was a Diwan of the erstwhile Kadana state. He once, while on his way to home, heard a crying girl baby who was abandoned near/under culvert, and he brought the baby home. This baby was named Rupanjiji (‘beautiful sister’), and grew up with my father, his elder brother (who later became Prant Officer in Baroda city), and their sister (as told to me by my mother several times; and I want to ascertain here that I remember to have seen this Rupanjiji myself when I was a young boy in the house hold). Eventually she was married off, and she had her children, and grandchildren, some of the latter had also kept some communication with my mother up to some recent past.
How my slogans evolved-
Free Thoughts In Search of Meaning of Life
1. A mortal man (woman) doesn't know how to live without an identity.
2. Only ignorant and real saint have no identities.
3. Ignorant cannot have any identity.
4. In fact, the saints and seers do not need any identity.
Who am I? From where did I come? Why am I in this place, on this so-called Earth? When we grow up (or are growing-up), and start understanding our environments (a little-by-little, a bit by bit) our curious mind starts asking such questions, in fact whatever today we know about the Universe, and ourselves is mainly and primarily because of our curiosity (which is inherent due to the nature’s evolutionary process of millions of years, and the main reason for this curiosity is that we all humans and the animals wanted security of themselves). And we keep searching answers to these questions, perhaps for the entire life, and even for generations (for the sake of formality four generations are considered as a century). In fact, the humanity has been asking such and other similar questions for last thousands of years! In fact, some answers have been provided by our (world) philosophies, however many are of circular type, and self-involving or self-pointing. These philosophies also claim that there cannot be explicit answers to such questions.
Interestingly and ironically, we are so called ‘mortals’ (with limited span/time of existence) on this planet; although one very profound eastern philosophy tells us that we are ‘immortal’ or at least our ‘soul’ is immortal. The so called ‘soul’ has no physical existence, like our bodies; however, it points to or signifies an active and live existence of a human being, with some inherent intellect and ‘computational intelligence’ of the biological neural network (BNN) of the human’s brain. A collective mechanism of, the external and internal, stimuli that excite the BNN, which in turn ‘generates’ the thought-processes, the field/domain of these thoughts can be considered as our ‘mind’, which cannot be seen but experienced and felt. The intricate interplay of our minds and thoughts (strengthened by our experiences, and learning) evokes a desire to seek an identity for ourselves to show we are different from many others. Despite the ‘soul’ being immortal, our daily routine life is plagued with myriad effects and experiences of sheer mortality, and we seek an identity for our self, work, and position in this world. We will, for the sake of this discussion, consider all the people living on this planet Earth as our world (including other biological species), the complete system with the Sun and its entire planetary system as our Universe (or the Universe), and the entire gamut of galaxies and stars including our own Solar system as the Cosmos (often, the latter is also called as the Universe).
We have several types of identities: names, surnames, pet names, nick names, aliases, maiden names, formal names, and even ‘fake names’; father (mother/sister/brother)-in-laws, nieces and nephews, uncles/aunties; numerous festival names; managerial/positions’ names; names of several types of events/places; CEO (chief executive officer), CAO (chief administrative officer, chief analytics officer), CMO (chief medical officer); outstanding/distinguish scientist, emeritus professor, chancellor; MP (member of parliament), MLA (member of legislative assembly), VIP (very important person), VVIP (very very important person), and so on…; the list is endless.
And yet, we are never satisfied with all these, and we continually search a unique identity for ourselves. In this world there are nearly 7.8 billion (780 crores, in India we are nearly 137 crore) people and each one has a name! There are thousands of biological species (including ourselves) on this Earth, and each has a unique name; and many of these are very complicated.
Ironically enough, we have even given specific names to certain Gods and Goddesses, even though we often say that these deities are infinite in their powers, and encompassment, and are immortal. We the mortals have to have some identity not only for ourselves, but also for others surrounding us, whether they matter to us or not. The quest of identity seems to be imbibed in our nature and we cannot live without it.
I often feel that the ignorant (very lowly educated, untrained, and illiterate; due their constraints for which they can be considered only partially responsible) people have no identity beyond their names given by their parents (or some social conventions). Often, it is said that the ignorance is bliss, but I feel that, if we are ignorant of say certain fields, then our awareness is highly limited. If I want to travel to some place, then I must know many things - about the logistics, safe travel tips, and availability of certain facilities, etc. More we know about anything, more certain are we about the success of our pursuits in that field.
I had joined my first regular job with a first class Master’s degree with a certain specialization (and with two years of experience as a teaching assistant elsewhere) and yet an intermediate senior used to treat me as if I was a ‘dumb’ guy, and used to subject me to (sometimes odd) questions every day to calibrate my knowledge; this was terribly irritating, and often humiliating, because of his low-mannerisms. This however, compelled me to study more and more of the field for/on which I was working to become familiar and up to date. Eventually, this turned out to be a very rewarding experience for me in a very long run of my professional career; and in the process, in the passage of four decades, I self-studied several difficult engineering subjects, beyond and in addition to the prescribed curriculum of the Universities for my degrees.
The real saints do not have any identities (even though they have names), in fact they do not need any. They are beyond such chains and shackles of self-crisis. By virtue of sheer studies of various books on philosophy (-ies), for decades (at least one decade is needed to be competent enough) during their initiation years, they have acquired tremendous knowledge and wisdom, so that they do not really need any identity; and yet some might be still yearning for more fame (and money), and hence, again an identity-crisis; they are ‘mortals’ anyway!
What is wrong with an identity? The pomp and show, devoid of any concrete achievements, attached to such an identity is highly and always deplorable. One can strive for an identity but, with a concentrated attempt to carve out a niche about oneself, in the pursuit of her/his field of work. The identity for and with a show is hollow and prone to failure in a long run, whereas a selfless and dedicated pursuit of one’s duty, technical or otherwise is sure to succeed. Any superficial smartness devoid of the knowledge of the depth of the issues would create a false sense of security and support, and would prevent a full development of an individual, in this increasingly-becoming-sophisticated-and-complex (IBSAC) world.
Very recently a political leader changed his affiliation to the ruling party, after service of decades to his previous party. When he got elected, the local area people felicitated him, and the show went on for nearly two hours. A lady who had faced several problems due to mismanagement of waste in the area nearby her house, was told earlier that she should come with the photographs of the abused places, to attend the function, where in one of the organisers would help her approach the politician and then she can show the photos and present her problems. The lady waited for two hours, nobody bothered about her and her issues, and finally she went home absolutely disappointed. A real good politician, without an identity-crisis, would have shunned this pomp and show, and straightforwardly approached all the participants who had to say something for the development and betterment of the area.
5. While you are living (with) in several constraints, and when you overcome one, and feel comfortable, another springs up in a shortest possible time.
6. The dead-ly constraints, often in our lives, are immoral.
While at HAL market (in Bengaluru) one evening, I had a parking problem, so, one gentleman gave me place, and I parked my vehicle, and when I had just then finished, I saw a car suddenly cropping in front of me!!! My happiness was short lived. Later on I could come out only after another neighbouring vehicle cleared a way for me.
Our life (life or lives used in either singular or plural) and its dealings with the world around us have become very complex, and the sophistication and the complexity are increasing day by day. And due to variety of several interactions with people that we encounter on daily basis, it so happens due the nature of things, that when we overcome one hurdle, or hiccup, another is just waiting to catch up with us. Often, we do not know how to cope with such things, because there was no prior information/intimation!
We have so many constraints: physical, psychological, emotional, and even intellectual. Our brains house the so called biological neural networks (BNN with billions of neuronal elements), which are our thinking machines; in fact these “adaptive chemical circuits’ mechanisms” are connected in parallel; meaning many (even all) such circuits function concurrently. Despite their huge numbers, the brain has to work still under some physical and physiological (including chemical) constraints. Perhaps, mainly due to this we face several constraints in our life, we also have to interact with others who have similar constraints like we have. The same situation applies in other domains: houses, streets, roads, networks for TVs and internet; which then build up the towns and cities; and we encounter several issues and problems; failure of water supply, damage in electrical supply lines, potholes on the roads, accidents, and failures of many things in our own house: taps, fans, radios, PCs,/network, mixer, geyser, microwaves, gas leakage, water filter, and so on…
Our life is so interwoven with our desire and goals, and the means, instruments and gadgets that we have to use all these to achieve our goals, and hence we are bound to face the situation that when one aspect is resolved, the next is just about to spring up; since many things are working in some unison, and when any one will fail or give problem cannot be so much foreseen in advance, how much we might be careful and alert; because their life-cycles are different (and associated warranty periods are also varying). This is not to say that we should not be proactive. These constraints are, in their functionality everlasting; and we gather the impression that they are ‘immortal’, and as if they are after us, not allowing us to live with/in peace.
In essence, we perhaps, become wiser and wiser due to these constraints, and come out with newer solutions, and means to handle these, and still make some progress towards our goals. We become adaptive, smart, and confident to handle difficult problems in our life, and we feel and experience a sense of security around us.
7. When, in my life (much later, after retiring from the GOI service) I was thinking, I am a perfect person; (then) my dearest and nearest ones (no offence intended at all), started making me realize that I am an ordinary soul – this is a ‘humble’ beginning of (my) self-realization.
I was always very studious person, and in most years of my schooling, and higher studies, I maintained first class performance (except once). I had least interest in sports, and gym but I was often used to perform many types of asanas (some simple yogic exercises). Eventually, I got B.E., M.E, and Ph.D. degrees, without taking much help from tuition classes, and colleagues. Eventually, with work experience from high level and reputed science and engineering research organizations, and two reputed universities (where I happened to be a teaching and research assistant), I got a lot of confidence in my area of studies and research with a lot of theoretical and practical experience. So, I started becoming a self-made man with some achievements. Concurrently, I used to read on Indian philosophy, popular science/physics, evolution, and non-fictions. Much later during my retirement, I started reading fictions, and mainly the books that have won some prizes.
I kept feeling that as far as my field of expertise is concerned, I am nearly a perfect technical professional. Also, I travelled to several countries, and to some countries more than once, on technical assignments and deputations. I wrote 7-seven technical books, all published by overseas publishers, and guided 11-eleven doctoral research scholars (DRSs), who got their Ph.D. degrees from their concerned/reputed Universities. So, my confidence had enhanced considerably. Again, concurrently, I used to help in our house work, planning trips, visits to relatives/friends, attending social functions, technical events (even organizing a few of these), and taking care of the family in various ways; the latter in matter of health, security and discipline.
The people at home are as such (nearly) non-technical persons, and though they have a good appreciation of my hard work and achievements (for this technical domain of mine), I remained just as a usual, common, and ordinary man: some started finding my faults, pointed to my follies, and limitations (of course I have/had a few of these); when (ever) I moved or remained much closer to them, so to say as I felt so. It is in this process that despite all my achievements, awards/prizes, and attention that I had got in the sphere of my work and connections, I started feeling that in some coordinates of my life, I am a point that is too faint and not so significant that I had thought or imagined of. And I started realizing that in this Universe, I am an ordinary person. This was a ‘humble’ beginning of the so called ‘self-realization’.
8. When my PCs aren't working, I feel half-dead.
9. When my (inter-)net is not working, I feel my communication with ‘God’ (though I do not tend to believe in one) is snapped.
10. When I don't have any technical work to do for a long time, I feel miserable, and feel I am a ‘useless’ person.
My technical work was and has been so much PC (earlier main frames, and then mini computers) dependent for nearly four decades, that when my PC (at my job place, or my own house) failed, I felt really miserable. Even, one day’s delay is difficult to tolerate. PC was and is my strongest companion after my wife, since I did not and do not have any girlfriend. Earlier, there was a PC given to me at home from my office (because I was then a head of some division), then my own PCs, nearly three/four units were changed/upgraded in the course of last two decades. Now a days, I keep two PCs as a hardware redundancy (since now I am a retired person, and hence I cannot utilize any PC in my previous office).
A PC has been backbone of my achievements: all the seven books that I wrote, all the DRSs that I guided, and all the technical papers (nearly 150) I wrote, all could be done comfortably only because of these un-intelligent (in fact some have programmed ‘computational’ intelligence, some logic, etc.) PCs. When I sit in front of my PC, I feel so enlightened, that even if I do not have any technical piece of work to be done using it, I just open, and start browsing net, or even take pleasure in deleting old files, and folders, even stored (nearly duplicate and similar) photographs.
In these days of information technology, and its explosion, I cannot imagine myself not using the net at least once in an interval of one/two hours, even if I do not have any major usage of it. If the net is not working, I get baffled, deprived of my privilege, and now much sooner, without waiting for it to come/revive on its own, I start searching the net-provider’s help line and just register the complaint. Especially, when I am writing a book and searching material from net, and if the net goes, I get really upset, and I feel as if my commune with the ‘Lord’ of the Universe is snapped; despite my much lesser and lesser dependence and invocation of her/him and their prowess: I feel the ‘evolution’ (science of biological species) has answered more questions in respect of the problems of humanity on this Earth, rather than any religious belief (and/or any god whatsoever). Although, the net has caused problems of more computer-viruses, these are handled by anti-virus treatments, and the hold of the net on my (our) mind/s remains steady and profound. I have had derived a lot of benefit of the net, in searching technical literature for writing my books, and guiding my colleagues/students. I feel that if the PCs and the net become truly based on the (artificial) intelligence (AI), then we can imbibe/wire in ‘God’ like properties/characteristics (and of course not any hypes about/on Gods) in them, and then these gadgets will become really ‘Godly’, of course not the Gods in themselves.
I am, in most suitable terms, a technical person, with much less interest in many worldly things, except certain basic aspects of life, or life-sustaining things and (nature-driven, i.e. biological urge to have a partner with opposite sex; ironically the modern day situation is humorously a bit different!) forces; unfortunately how the latter two aspects have evolved is still being researched. To satisfy my desire/ego, I always find out some technical work to do; read a technical paper, write a page or two for my book, and/or read an article in a science magazine. If I do not do this, I feel as if I am not attending to the fever of my mind.
Doing technical work in whatever manner, helped me in keeping my mind, and my biological neural network very active, and I continued to feel the sense of security that I am still connected to my roots. Writing my books, writing and publishing technical papers, the PCs, the internet, and the discussions with my colleagues (the staff who worked for me, and my 11 DRSs), and interactions during my guest-lecturing provided a tremendous, and unfailing support to my technical pursuits; without which may be, I would have remained largely a ‘useless’ person.
11. We are wiser, but the diseases are just ‘wise’. They know what to do, and do just that. We know what to do, but we do not do it. We are in that way under-wiser.
Most diseases are spread due to bacteria and/or viruses, the latter word is also very popular in computer-users’ circle. In that way these organisms ‘know’ what to do and they really do it: the damage to human organs/health, and computer software, and so on. In fact, the nature born viruses really do not know anything, simply they grow according to nature’s law/cycle of evolution. In the process they grow in numbers (in lakhs and millions) and damage the human organs, by feeding on whatever is supporting their growth, and in turn our organs get weakened, since their cells are attacked and destroyed by these bacteria/viruses. In most cases, these organisms are parasites and live on some small animals (like rats, misquotes, etc.), and ironically we keep destroying these animals who are not at all responsible for the infections we get; in fact these animals themselves also do not know that they are housing the colonies of the bacteria/viruses, the latter are deadly in themselves, since they are in huge number and grow (very) fast and attack our vital organs and physiological systems. In fact, their purpose is not to trouble us at all, but in the scheme of things that they have evolved (for millions of years) they reproduce to sustain their genes, through generations, and this process is an evolutionary stable system (ESS); even we have also a similar ESS. In fact, according to science all biological species and plants have also evolved from some basic bacterium (cell). Apart from this, we also house in our bodies several kinds of bacteria (some are useful and some are not).
Ironically and fortunately, we know many things due to the tremendous progress in medical science, and research. However, as far as the microorganisms are concerned, we are not very careful, as for example, in the areas of cleanliness, hygiene, and prevention of the spread of these harmful organisms. Main reason for us is that we are lazy, and careless, or a kind of ‘‘don’t care’’ persons; eventually only we suffer. We need to use anti-biotics to combat the diseases, and these microbes being ‘smart’, they develop resistance to these drugs. These organisms mutate (as per the laws of evolutionary nature, in a long cycle), and they are again ready to attack us in different ways/seasons, and then we are again caught unaware.
12. When you are flying high in the skies, and feel that you are achieving greater and greater heights, there is someone on the Earth waiting and trying to pull you down.
13. Why there are people like these, I don't understand, but the experience tells me that they are, and they always will be there and here.
14. Either they envy you, or have a sadistic nature, or they pose as if they are your well-wishers, or even watch dogs; but when confronted, they will pose as if they are innocent, or even ignorant of what ‘harm’ or ‘hurt’ they have had done to you.
***
A village-born-partially-educated-in-a-city girl named Bevija went for a usual walk in the campus where she was staying.
Vanal: Hi, Bevija, you seem to be on your usual routine evening walk.
Bevija: Yes, very much, I get time only in the evening, since for the whole day I remain busy with a lot of routine work.
Vanal: Yeah, taking care of children, their chores, sending them to schools, cooking, washing clothes, etc., isn’t it?
Bevija: Yes very much, I also have to take care of my husband’s needs and chores.
Vanal: Very much. But, I think you should take extra care of your husband, since there are many attractions in his office, and these will be after him for he is intelligent and smart.
*
Another similar day for an evening walk.
Shua: Hi, Bevija, how are you, and your family members?
Bevija: All are fine.
Shua: How is your husband?
Bevija: He is very much fine.
Shua: I think you must take good care of your husband, and keep an eye on him, since, in his office he is always surrounded by beauties.
*
Yet, another similar day for an evening walk.
Guanaj: Hello, Bevija Bhabhi, nice that as usual, you are on an evening walk for your good health.
Bevija: Yes, Bhaisahab, this keeps me in good mood, and I am charged with new energy, for the next day.
Guanaj: How is the Bhaisahab, he had not come for this walk!
Bevija: He prefers to walk in the morning, for he feels that by the evening, lot of pollutants would have been accumulated in the atmosphere.
Guanaj: I hope he is not held up amongst the beautiful things.
**
These people knowingly or unknowingly, sowed the seeds of doubts in the innocent mind of the young and newly married Bevija. She was ignorant of such ways of some city dwellers. The matter worsened day by day, months by months, and years by years. The life of the beautiful and innocent couple became miserable. How much explanations poured from the hubby, but all failed to calm the lady of the house. Somehow they pulled on for the life further, in order that the children are not affected. In fact, these uncommon-sense greetings from the passers-by; common campus-lanes’ walking souls (they can be easily classified as ‘idiots’), and/or not-just-so-close-friends really ‘caused’ a ‘damage’ to the couple that had a lasting effect for several decades. These people behaved as ‘nuisance’, un-mannered, un-polite, and sort of ‘lowly souls’, and that such people would be around was not imagined at all, but they turned to be there. Often, simple life gets embroiled in myriads of myths and superstitious/suspicious beliefs that are not easy to wipe out from our lives. Why the people behaved like that, I cannot understand at all.
**
Kamkaronetty (bang opens the door and almost shouts or yells): Why are you doing this?, he (Jr.) says, he does not want to continue to work with me, and would soon resign from his present job.
TheSenoure: Why so?
KK: Because you are not involving him in the new (bigger) upcoming project, and you have already made decision to involve some other persons very closer to you. This is not correct, and I am going to lose a sincere worker. At this juncture you should not be doing such maneuvers.
TheSenoure (TS) was taken aback on this outburst, since the truth he knew was something else.
THE TRUTH: The junior (Jr.) had approached the TS, in his office, some weeks back, then and told him that he was not happy with KK, and he did not want to work with him (KK), because the KK does not treat them properly. Also, one evening, the Jr. had visited the TS’s house and told how badly (details omitted) the KK treated him and his other colleagues, and hence he (Jr.) did not want to work with him. Actually, the Jr. had then received a good job in a private company with 1.5 times his present salary, and that was in his own native state, and hence the Jr. left the job, and accepted the new enticing appointment. He did not leave because he was not put in the new project. In fact the group leader under whom the Jr. worked, had never shown any interest in the proposal for the new project, and had never indicated that his persons should be involved in the project.
*
BeSenoure (BS): We would like you to take care of the group in our absence, since we are going to USA for a period of two years.
BeJunoure(BJ): Yeah, I would take care. But, I would like to apply for the RASASA (Rashtriya Sanshodhan Samiti) fellowship, and if I get it, I would like to go for one year.
BS: Yes, when we come back, you can try, and we will ‘try’ to send you to RAVAASA (Rashtriya Vaimanik Aur Antariksh Sansthan) for at least one year.
**
Interestingly and ironically when they came back, one of them said that the situation has changed due to the then current geo-political reasons, and the unit only prefers the scholars from their country. So, your chances are very low to obtain the fellowship. Then, as suggested by him, I wrote a feeler email to a senior person there, and got the similar answer. I strongly felt that both the answers were cooked up (and connived ones/schemed), and there was no such geo-political situation there, since the unit and the country had/has a policy of equal opportunity to all the eligible candidates from all (friendly to them) nations of the world.
**
There are (and might be) several such and similar stories (I have some more authentic and unpleasant stories, that I might recount in future stories) that would tend us to believe that there are very odd people, who as if seem to be ‘jealous’ of your progress, and that they would consciously (or unaware) behave in such non-common-sensical ways.
***
15. People say ignorance is bliss, I say knowledge and information are a boon. If the boon gulps the ignorance, we are enlightened; if ignorance swallows boon, we enter the dark-age.
Our age, that is the present, modern (and from near past) age is the age of information technology and knowledge discovery. In colloquial usage of these terms, both mean the similar things, but there is technical definition, say for the information, which can be thought of as the resolution of uncertainty. If by getting more data for analysis and study (for probable decision making), if the uncertainty in/about the event for which we have gathered the data, is reduced than we say that our information has increased, and in many cases we have got the new knowledge; that is we have discovered something, that was hitherto not known or scantly known. In fact, the knowledge is derived from some primary information, and additional (new) information. In general usage of these two terms, we mean one or the other thing by having the information or knowledge. Often both the terms are used synonymously. Actually, we should interpret the scenario this way: we have gathered some data (information), and then processed these data, using some algorithm (or software, or a procedure/technique) and derived some parameters, coefficients, and/or extracted some features (from these data), then the latter three aspects constitute a knowledge.
From philosophical sense, ignorance is considered as a boon, since knowing too many things, or details of a past even, which was perhaps not so good, might invoke unpleasant memories, and our present state of affairs then might turn out to be the moments of unhappiness, and resentment. The house wives must be having a lot of such experiences, the memories of which are better forgotten (at least intentionally) than remembered.
However, in the present age, the world is becoming increasingly complex, and yet highly sophisticated, and more you know about any and/or more events, more precise you become in predicting the effects of the present state of affairs, and lesser and lesser uncertainty makes you more confident in handling the upcoming situations. This helps us in our overall wellbeing, be it health, financial matters, security and/or safety, not only for our own self, but also for our family members and friends.
16.
What happened to my goal?
I set out with a goal in my mind
and walked and walked
even I ran and ran
and on the path I slept and woke up and walked
crossed several obstacles
and eventually I was diverted and re-diverted
and in the struggle to reach the goal
I missed the actual path
and even forgot what I had set-out for!
We often set a goal, and yet we do not know how to choose a suitable path, and end up spending a lot of time and energy, and in the end, we do not reach our aim. Attaining our aim requires a well-planned procedure and thoughtful approach. In most cases, the normal humans should take a ‘calculated risk’# rather than jump into a whole big thing. From smaller steps, and a few successes, and even a few failures, we can build up a new strategy for reaching our set-out goal. In most cases, I have had taken only ‘calculated risks’, and done fairly well in field of my pursuit; since by my own nature I cannot take high risks in my life and related endeavours. (# This is not to say that, the people should take always such measured risks; if they have strengths and guts, they have freedom to take higher and greater risks, and of course this is how many great heroes, including soldiers and freedom fighters, are born in any country).
17. If your wife does not come to you, you just don’t answer her questions at all, then she will start coming to you; but then she will use the same trick for you. Follow this suggestion at your own risk.
18. A woman (wife) should not hurt ego of her man (husband), and a man (husband) should not hurt pride of his woman (wife).
19. A philosopher (a modern day saint or seer) once advised: Do not analyse women, just love them. I did not know this earlier; and have had been analysing her for last five decades, and yet, understood her very little, and now I have stopped analysing her, and am following the philosopher’s advice.
Once, not too far in time, I was waiting in the hall of a hotel, to be picked by a taxi from the University, where I was to chair the viva voce committee for one doctoral candidate. That time I was reading a newspaper, and I came across a column, which says amongst other things:...do not analyse a woman, do not try to go into the details of why she behaves the way she does, and do not try to study her too much, just love her... S/he (the columnist) meant to take them as they are and without asking too many questions, just take them in your own fold, and lead your life.
A woman in general would be proud of her parents. If you tell her anything unpleasant about her parents, she would retort immediately. A married woman prides her children, and even if they have done obvious harm to your own children, that mother would not agree that easily. So, is with her husband, especially if she is in deep love with her hubby. She almost possesses him. Her pride should not be hurt in any way. A woman, unmarried/married, and/or mother lives on the basis of her ‘this’ pride for her parents/husband/man/children. If she is hurt, she feels that her world is shaken.
In a similar way, I have observed that, the most men/husbands have a solid ego protecting their own (psychological) self. They live under this shield and function accordingly, in their comfort zone, and to hurt their ego is to hurt their own self/soul. They would get very furious, and will not be able to reconcile very easily. Such men are not easily malleable, and their ‘upset’ might cause difficult situation in the family. Unfortunately, any cultured training does not seem to have a great effect on such of their behaviours, their self-esteem is very high, and they do not want to come down to a lower level. This ego gives them a reason to survive, defend them in odd situations, and provides them a sense of some security. However, as long as they know their limitations, and honestly accept this, then, this aspect is a redeeming factor for their near and dear ones, and friends.
A wife would show her resentment to her husband on several aspects and occasions, and this often becomes a routine matter in many families, even if the members often meet and discuss various matters and sort out pretty issues and problems, in a regular manner. At times, it is difficult to handle such situations. In some odd times, she will stop coming to you, even if you give her several hints that you need her badly. In most cases, she will ask a lot of questions, as if she is an investigating journalist. Many of her questions would be routine, and it would be prudent not to answer every question; though serious aspects should always be attended to. But, she would be incessant to obtain answers for every question of her. If you stop answering such questions, then she would, most probably start coming to you. Then, the rest is in your own domain.
20. Keep going, but think differently, one day you will be a different and better person.
The statement might sound familiar to some or many. Though, I called it as my slogan, it is most probably based on my reading of several books where a similar message might have been given or conveyed differently. However, the present analysis is of my own. Once, in a deep thought, I just happened to come out with this slogan (No. 20), it just started forming and then I wrote it down. Often, many (of my) slogans come out like that, and it is as a result of some thinking process that is going on in the background (we often say back of our mind). Much later I analysed it very closely, and I found that it has four one-word basic structure/format or the message: i) status quo, ii) thought, iii) change, and iv) goal.
i) Status quo: If you get an idea, just do not jump to implement it suddenly, unless it is an emergency. Do not hurry, it is said in our philosophy: hasten slowly. The hastening suggests a goal that should be planned in advance and no need to waste months and years in this planning process. Slowly, then means that try to proceed on the path of this goal in a gradual manner, without hurrying too much, because haste makes waste. The word also implies that there is no sudden need to quit what you are doing, but keep an idea active enough to part from it in a near future.
ii) Thought: the process of 20) involves a ‘thought’ and one should have a good thought in her/his mind, that is to say a kind of ‘principle’. This also signifies that thinking is very important for achieving some goal. A thoughtless path is no path at all.
iii) Change: A change is an inevitable feature of our dynamic life. There are routine things happening that have characteristics of changing and evolving patterns of our daily chores. A change suggests a different thing/path/method/manner. There is no point in just doing routine dull things day after day. One should come out of the stereotypes and attempt some new and different thing, one should have a new perspective about life, and the manner we live in. This involves a learning mechanism, and it suggests an evolving and adaptive process.
iv) Goal: Everyone should have a goal in life. In fact, in the Universe, as such there is no long term goal; according to the present day scientific information, our Universe is just expanding. However, we, the human beings can have some goal, and there is no point in having too-long term goals, since the situations might evolve (in fact develop) and our ‘such’ goals might remain as un-realized. Hence, it is a good practice and to be prudential to have some short-term goals in our lives. A goal that is sensibly chosen, can keep us active and alert. This will continuously drive us to achieve the very goal by providing us some stimuli. It is imperative that this goal should be such that it makes us a different and better person; the latter qualities are to be defined properly, and this depends on each individual and her/his mental makeup; the discussion on this subject is deferred to some later time; because it is a complex and sophisticated process to set up a greater goal in one’s life (especially in modern times, due to mixing up of issues and priorities; since one’s life time sacrifice is considered as useless by the other, and vice versa). There happened to be great people with tremendous achievements from both, the highly differing and opposite sides and the common ordinary people in any community, and nation get perplexed which side to take. It is suggested that any progressive community (and even a nation) should have a single ‘thought’ about the evolvement and development of the people of the unit, such that this goal is respecting the greater humanity, beyond the petty small issues/narrow divisions (due to differing religious beliefs/cultures/conventions/inclinations to a polity/life styles, and the like) in the societies.
20a. Be always fresh (F-R-E-S-H) to achieve 20: being accidentally creative.
Mr. Todd Henry, who is the founder and CEO of ‘The Accidental Creative’, a company that helps people and teams to achieve their goals, gave this word: F-R-E-S-H. He is the author of the book with the same title. Here, some aspects are analysed in our own way (Partially contributed by Ms. Rijutakumari H. Gohil, Gr.11, Author with six published stories in Matrubharti).
We would consider the phrase ‘being accidental creative’ as a very catchy one, and it suggests immediately three things: i) being, ii) accidental, and iii) creative; which now I would expand and elaborate as follows:
i) Being: this is a phrase that implies our existence, that is; I am so and so, I am going to become so and so. We want to tell the world that I am existing in a particular place and manner. We want to assert ourselves amongst the crowd of humanity on this planet.
ii) Accidental: this phrase signifies speed, spontaneity, suddenness, something happening fast, as is often the case with mishaps and accidents that happen, without any notice; like we say: ‘I did not know what and how it happened, it was so sudden that I did not have any time to avert it’.
iii) Creative: This implies something ‘new’, ‘novel’, often, actually in almost all the cases, different from the routine and conventional happening. Most of us are creative in the normal sense of the term: the acts of planning, managing (government, economy), scientific research, dancing, music, maintaining security, and engineering technology are the works of human mind’s creativity.
The need of being accidental creative is always there; there are several events in our lives where there is such a requirement: emergency situations related to health and/or security, sudden fire in some place, some mishaps or incidences, and/or accidents. In order to handle such odd situations, one who is involved needs to be accidental creative: quick ideas, useful decisions, simple and effective procedures, and prompt actions so that minimal time is wasted and minimal loss is incurred. In that case one needs to be fresh: F-R-E-S-H: in the sense of being alert and ready to act spontaneously.
We all know that we always need many things very fresh: air, water, vegetables, food, and even fresh-new clothes, etc. The detail meaning of the word is spelled out as follows:
F Focus
R Relation/Relationship
E Energy
S Stimuli
H Hour/Time
Now, the point is that if we want to be accidental creative, that is being creative somewhat very instantly, or within a moment’s notice, how can we prepare ourselves for this? There are many situations, wherein and where for such creativity is needed: i) national disaster management, ii) risk management, iii) sudden social disturbances, and iv) national security. The key point is that we all should be FRESH, in the sense of the term defined above. Now, we will discuss what this word implies.
F-Focus: This means that we should be always focused on the goal of our work, and should concentrate on all the aspects that are required to achieve our goal. If we dissipate our thoughts in several unnecessary things, then we are de-focused, and our spirit gets divided and greatly affected. In that case we cannot be always alert. In Bhagavad Gita it is said somewhere: Engage your mind in me, penetrate your intellect into me, then there is no doubt, you will always reside in me.
R-Relation: Often, we need to do work together with our friends, colleagues, and co-workers. And all these persons will have different ways of doing the same things. We need to keep good and balanced relationship with these differing people, so that our work is not jeopardized. This aspect falls in the category of emotional intelligence. Cognitive intelligence is what the technical knowledge and brilliance we have. But that is not sufficient, being able to keep good relation is also very important.
E-Energy: For keeping the focus, and good relations with others, we need a good amount of energy; which is also a daily need of every living organism. We get energy mainly from food that we eat, and also from Sun. If we eat fresh food we get good nutrients and energy to sustain the body mechanism always working according to our needs.
S-Stimuli: This points to the fact that all of us should be highly motivated persons. For most persons, the stimulus comes from being self-motivated; these persons rarely need guidance and directions from others. However, some persons need to be motivated and goaded into certain directions of the goal. A few need continuous guidance and prodding.
H-Hour/Time: To be focused, to keep relations, and for generating energy we need to spend time; that is some hours need to be allocated for studies, meetings, and interactions with the people who matter to us in our pursuits of goals; of course we should avoid such discussions, if we feel that there is no value addition to our purpose. Also, in an overall sense to be active, we need to spend quite a good amount of time. In order to do some supporting work we also need to spend some time/hours.
The message is that if we want to be accidental (suddenly, in a moment’s notice, or almost always) creative, we should train ourselves with the concept of being fresh, i.e. F-R-E-S-H as discussed above. Now, put this concept of being fresh, or F-R-E-S-H, into one of the situations that we have mentioned before. Let’s say that one day, you are at the office working, when suddenly, the smoke and fire detectors sound. Now as per the human instinct, most people will set off into a panic of ‘every man for himself’, and that may result in devastating consequences. In this situation, the accidental-creativity is greatly needed.
To begin, let’s start with F, which means Focus. According to the F, you should be focused 100% purely on your goal in the case of a fire: how to get everyone out of the building safely. Now in the real situation, 90% of people will be in a state of intense panic. They will not be able to focus on how to get out safely with everyone, but instead will be thinking of simply how to get out by themselves. Their thoughts will range from the questions about whether they will survive to questions about what will happen if they don’t. In other terms, 90% of the people in the office will not be able to focus. However, since you know the importance of being FRESH, you will immediately be focused on the problem at hand. Your mind will think of ways to bring everyone together and get out safely.
The next letter is R, which stands for Relation or Relationship. In times of a natural crisis, humans need to be able to work together. That is where relation comes into play. By being FRESH, you will be able to work well with your colleagues to figure out the fastest way to get out of the office without harming anyone. Since, you have good relations, you would be open to hearing suggestions, which is helpful when you must find a way out of the building. If you were not FRESH, you would not been able to work with everyone, thus resulting in the survival instinct of humans ‘every man for himself’, and this state of panic would not have accomplished anything but chaos.
Now, let’s talk about the E, which stands for Energy. As said before, energy comes from the fresh food we eat, the Sun, and the amount of rest we get. Putting this into the fire situation, about half of your colleagues do not have enough energy to be accidental-creative. Most of them would have probably gone straight home from work yesterday, eaten leftovers for dinner, not stepped a foot outside, and used their electronic devices until late at night. Due to their loss of energy, they would be too tired to think about ways to get out of the building safely. However, since you knew about the concept of FRESH before, you have eaten the right food, been active, and gotten the rest you needed. In this way, you will have the energy to face the difficult situation.
The next letter is S, signifying Stimulus (Stimuli) and points to the fact that you should be highly motivated when you want to be accidental-creative. In the fire situation, you would be highly motivated by yourself and others because you are aware that if you do not accomplish your goal, people will not survive.
The last aspect/letter in the concept of FRESH is H, which stands for Hour (Time). In the case of a fire, you do not have much time. However, if you believed in the concept of FRESH beforehand, you would have already spent a good amount of time in forming good relations, getting energy, and being active days before the fire. This means that in the time of the fire, you have the capacity to quickly become focused on your goal (of safe escape) and accomplish it despite the time limit. This is because you have spent an abundance of time on all the other aspects of FRESH, resulting in your FRESH mind, and your entire body-mechanism (Musculoskeletal) system is so well trained that it comes into play spontaneously in an emergency that is taken as an example for the discussion.
To summarize, with all of the aspects combined together, you will be able to quickly find a solution in handling any difficult situation. You will be focused, working with your colleagues with an abundance of energy and stimuli, despite the time crunch; since you were and will be FRESH.
21. It is not important what you become and what you do, but it is very imortant how you become what you become, and how you do what you do.
** A NEW BEGINNING...**
