PART 2
THE PAST
Ajit had always been artistic and creative since school days, but owing to the middle class Maharashtraian background, he was forced to pursue a safer, job securing profession: Engineering! He, like many unfortunate students of India, hated being an engineer but was to become one. After 12th, he gave entrance exams and somehow managed to secure an engineering seat into an average college. But his dislike for engineering, hostel life and the long boring lectures took a toll on him and he failed his first semester. He had an option to give them again in the next semester, but he chose otherwise.
That night, with the results in his hand, he went home to his parents. His mother, a sweet lady, was a home maker whereas his father, a stoic faced man, was a bank clerk.
He showed them the result, and instead of waiting for their reply, put a question in front of them, “Is this how you want me to be all my life? A failure!!”
His father, was first taken aback, but quickly composed himself and said, “So, you have ATKTs. I’m sure you aren’t the only one to get it. Stop fooling around and study hard next time. And next time, don’t bring me such disgraceful result.”
All this while, his mother was looking at her son, standing at the kitchen door. She could see that he was seething inside, not more of anger but more of suffocation. She was concerned for him. But that night, she also saw a newside to him. He looked decisive, he looked firm, his eyes had a sparkle which was missing all these years.
The silence was broken by Ajit’s words.
He said, “I don’t want to waste my life doing something which I am not interested in and feel like a failure all my life. I have decided to quit engineering.”
“Quit engineering?!!! Are you out of your mind??? And what do you want to do once you quit? Work like a clerk all your life? Here I am, trying to give you everything I never got and you…..” said his father, who was now on the verge of losing it.
“What you want to give me and what I need are two very different things dad. I want to do something else. I am quitting it. That’s my decision.” said Ajit…
Whaaaammmmmmmmm…..!!! Before Ajit could realize, what had happened, he felt his right palm resting on his right cheek, trying to soothe it. He saw his father who now was few inches away from him, his hand raised in the air, and his mother’s scream from the back, all at once.
After that night, Ajit never spoke to his father, nor did his father make any attempts. He soon quit his engineering and took admission in one of the good Arts College in his city.
Once in, he didn’t leave any stones unturned. Be it debates, college fests, sponsoring, event management, Ajit was everywhere. It was as if he had gotten new strength, new life into his wings. Out of all the activities he pursued, what he loved the most was working on the editing team of the college magazine.
Owing to his initiative, the college magazine was redesigned and lot of fresh talent was looked out for who could contribute to it. And it was in this scenario, where the first year student, Saroj Kaushik had entered into that empty classroom, where Ajit sat, surrounded by the pile of papers.
And this meeting turned out to be the beginning of a new phase in their lives…..
College life went by in a swift, mostly because everything Ajit and Saroj did, they loved it. They were always together but never alone, groups surrounded them all the time, specially the editing team. With Ajit’s initiative and Saroj’s creative ideas, the redesigning of the magazine was a huge success. In spite of being surrounded by people all the time, these two found alone time only while walking Saroj towards the bus stop. It is in these moments, that their friendship grew stronger, the moments where they really connected with each other on a more intimate level.
It wasn’t that they were playing hide n seek with each other or their feelings. They both were mature enough to understand and value their feelings and let it evolve with time. Some over enthusiastic batch mates had already declared them THE COUPLE of their Arts section, but neither did Ajit and Saroj deny it, nor did they encourage it. They just didn’t let the outer forces affect them at all.
Ajit had found a confidant in Saroj and Saroj had found a person with whom she could be herself. Two people who understood each other well. The best thing which Ajit found in Saroj was that she never provoked him or manipulated him into doing anything he didn’t want to do, or those subtle nudges which women throw at men to show their manly prowess. Nor did he had to prove how sensitive or feminist he was when it came to women’s right. In fact, Ajit was sensitive towards human’s needs, be it a man or a woman.
Whereas, Saroj liked being with him as there were only few people in her life, in whose presence, she didn’t have to pretend anything. Neither pretends to neither dumb herself, or act smart, or be cheerful nor be anything just to belong with them. Ajit let her be the way she was, a quiet, thoughtful, confident, creative bookish girl, who at times was capable of being childish and extremely sensitive.
In this world where everyone is either trying to fit in or stand out, these two just let each other be, the way they both were: Unfiltered, unmanipulated.
With this privilege which they both realized soon enough, they didn’t want to leave each others’ side. BOTH OF THEM!! So, without any much drama, Ajit had decided to take their relationship to the next level on the soon arriving Farewell cum Fresher’s party which the juniors had arranged for them.
On that day, the whole college was in the festive mood, and as usual Ajit was surrounded by a pool of people, along with few professors. Everyone wished them luck for the finals and wished them for their live ahead. Ajit mechanically shook hands with everyone while fixing his gaze at the college entrance. He was waiting for Saroj, to his surprise, was late today.
The party started at Six Thirty in the evening. Soon, it was Seven!! Seven Thirty!! Eight!! And Saroj was not yet there. Ajit was getting restless by each minute. He kept calling her, sending her texts incessantly.
Just when he couldn’t take it anymore, he decided to leave college and go to her place. He started walking out of the college entrance and as his walked towards the bus stop, his phone beeped:
“I’m sorry Ajit! I couldn’t come today!! Not feeling well!! Don’t come home!”
That’s it!! Ajit was perplexed! That’s all she had to say after fifty missed calls to her?!! He tried calling her once again, but this time her phone was switched off. For the first time, Ajit was angry on Saroj for such careless approach of hers. He decided to drop by her place tomorrow morning as he had questions and he desperately needed some answers.
That night, Ajit was restless throughout. He was waiting for the sun to rise, for the day to begin. And as soon as it happened, he got up, got ready and left his home. He took a train, as it was the fastest route to Saroj’s house. As he sat in the train, he kept looking at their last night’s chat thread between, where he had sent almost twenty messages to her and all she replied was,
“I’m sorry Ajit! I couldn’t come today!! Not feeling well!! Don’t come home!” Every time he looked at it, he felt it’s so unlike her.
Thirty minutes passed and soon he arrived at his destination.
He quickly took an auto and went straight to her house. In fifteen minutes, he was at her place. Ajit got out of auto, paid the driver and ran towards her house, as he could no longer contain himself. He rang the door bell and waited restlessly for the door to open. After, two or three more attempts, the door was opened by Saroj’s father. Ajit hastily wished him morning and asked to meet Saroj.
On which her father said, “Beta, Saroj left for Delhi last night itself. She won’t be coming back. Didn’t she tell you, she’s engaged to be married...”
Ten years had passed since that fateful morning when Ajit stood at Saroj’s door, shocked and feeling betrayed. Yes, he was tremendously hurt. But more so, he was quite confused as to why would Saroj hide this from him? Why couldn’t she tell this herself? Why didn’t she give their relationship a chance to blossom? Why? Why? Why? There were many ‘whys’ which by now have formed a tangled web in his mind and were just left hanging for the past ten years.
Initially, though it was difficult, Ajit had learnt to live with that pain and move on with his life. He moved on so much and at such a rapid pace, that all he did was work, work and work. He started ‘Creative Wings’ within seven years of his career and equally soon established its niche in the market. He loved his work! It gave him joy and a sense of satisfaction. He was happy.
Yet most nights he would spend staring at the bedroom wall, feeling the vacuum which Saroj had gifted him as a parting gift. He often wondered how would she be? How would her husband be? How many children would she have? Would she be happy? Does she even think of me or is she so happy in her blissful marriage that everything else seems futile? And with his unanswered questions, he would doze off, only to wake up the next day beside them.
However every pain, no matter how excruciating, has an expiry date. And his expiry date was on 26th November 2016, the day when he along with his colleague, was taking interviews for the position of a marketing executive.
It was this day when into the interview room entered SAROJ KAUSHIK, wearing a black cotton kurta, white palazzo, a black round bindi, dark chocolate shade lipstick, no makeup, just a line of kajal under her eyes, paired with oxidized jhumkas in her ears, and a watch on her left wrist. She held a cloth folder in her left arm a handbag in her right.
When Saroj had entered, Ajit was on a call with one of his clients. So, he was standing leaning on the desk, facing his back to the interviewee chair. By the time she sat down, he was still talking. It was only when she started speaking that Ajit, as though frozen, hung up the phone and turned around.
If miracles could be witnessed, it was something like this, though just for Ajit. Saroj was expecting him. He wanted to say something, he wanted to hug her, ask her where has she been, shout on her for leaving him that way, tell her how much he missed her…but all he could say was, “Hello”…
The interview was carried by Nitish, Ajit’s colleague, a good friend, while he just sat there, looking at Saroj. In that interview, Ajit got to know two shocking facts about her life. First, she was a single mother, her husband was no more and second she had a nine years old daughter. When the interview was over, Saroj left the room and started walking towards the lift when she got a text on her phone, an unknown number: “Wait at the cafe on the opposite side of the street. NO QUESTIONS ASKED…!”
She had expected this to happen, so she willingly went towards the cafe. Rather, what she really was scared of was ‘what if he doesn’t show any recognition’. But, though angry and hurt, Ajit never played games. Never then, Nor Now.
She sat at the table for two, adjacent to the cafe wall, in one corner and ordered one Cafe Mocha for herself and one Espresso for him. In the next ten minutes, the cafe door opened, and Ajit entered. He glanced at the room, and found Saroj sitting in the corner, sipping her coffee. A hint of smile spread across his lips. Saroj and corner seat!! Some things never change!! He went towards the table, made himself seated and the following conversation ensued:
Ajit, “How have you been?”
Saroj, “I’ve been good. What about you?”
Ajit, “I’m good. I’m sorry about your husband. What happe….”
Before he could finish, Saroj said curtly, “Car accident.”
No one said anything for few moments. Then, Ajit broke the silence by asking about the interview, to which Saroj replied, “I came here for an interview only to meet you, to see you. I have shifted to Mumbai now. And the first thought in my mind was to at least tell you that I’m here. I could have come as a friend, taken an appointment and all, but I was scared, what if you heard my name and refused to meet me? Hence, this was the only way I thought was the best.”
Something in Ajit calmed down when he heard Saroj say all this. It showed that in spite of whatever happened, she did think of him, she cared for him, she thought of him.
The tangle of questions with which he had been living all these years in his head, had started loosening up with Saroj’s comeback. And unlike last time, Ajit was not helpless anymore. He had power. And this time around, he was going to use it, to keep her with him! There was no way, he was going to let her out of his sight, ever again..
It has now been six months since that day when Ajit and Saroj met. Ajit was happy for the fact that Nitish had already decided to hire her, even before Ajit could use his influence. So, Saroj soon started working.
Days past in Creative Wings as they always did, but for Ajit, it was a new life again. He felt much stronger, much happier, and much calmer to be around Saroj. For the first few days though, it took him time to sink in the fact that Saroj was really back. Many times, it would so happen that he would work for long hours at a stretch and suddenly feel that pain of not being with her, only to be reassured later when he would see her moving around the cubicles, talking animatedly to her colleagues.
Ajit observed that Saroj had changed quite a lot. She looked more confident, more self assured, unlike her college days. She was brilliant even then, but her brilliance was a calmer one. Now, however there was a lot of enthusiasm which she carried with her always. Ajit logically attributed this change to her marriage, her husband’s death and also to the fact that now she was a mother. He liked this Saroj too. He liked her in every possible way. What else could he do? He loved her.
When Saroj first found out that Ajit was still single, she was shocked. The very next thought which came to her mind was, “Had they two been together, how that life would be?” But she was just happy to be around him, near him in any possible way. Despite whatever happened in past years, Saroj couldn’t deny the fact that she still felt for him. If single, she would have given them one chance. But things were different now. She was a mother…and…and…yes... things were different now!! She would just sigh to herself and utter…“If only….”
to be continued...
