Be nice. Don’t be loud. Don’t be stubborn. Don’t argue. Be modest. Be respectful. Don’t speak out. Be a good wife. Be a good daughter. Be a good sister. Uphold the family honour.
One way or another, these are things we hear almost every day. We are subjected to a vast set of rules simply because the world thinks that the 'fairer sex is born weaker.' But even adhering to these rules doesn't always help us.
We decided to list down the most common problems an Indian girl faces in her life.
1. Shielding Ourselves From Stares
'It's natural for men to stare.' So we need to cover up to help men to not stare at us.
2. The Risk Of Being Groped
An extra layer might lower chances of getting stared at, but being groped doesn't stop even at burkhas.
3. The Consequences of ‘Coming-Of-Age’
Once she turns 21, getting a girl married becomes her family's top priority. Parents, relatives and even their friends eagerly undertake a mission to find us the perfect match.
During this search, we are 'advertised' on the basis of our physical attributes like our complexion and features and not our educational qualifications.
As if being judged by our bodies wasn't enough, we even need to make a payment in the form of dowry to get men to marry us.
4. Constantly Being Labelled As Someone's Property
All our lives we have been objectified. To our parents, we’re their 'paraaya dhan.' To our boyfriends, we’re their 'chicks.' To a lech, we’re 'maal' and some families even call us 'bojh' or burden.
5. The Paradox Of Making One's Own Choices
When a girl talks about making her own choices, they are always presumed to be about smoking, drinking or having sex. Give us a break, there's more to life than that.
6. Presumptuous Stereotypes
If we are one of those girls who smoke, drink and are sexually active, we are by default 'available' and 'asking for it.'
7. And our problems don't just stop at lecherous men and the crusade for marriage. We get judged by our own gender as well!
How education changed life of girls in India
Education is globally acknowledged as the most powerful because it suggests of empowering women and ladies and protects them from the violation of their human rights. Investing in girls’ or women’s education can transform, and even save, lives—the lives of girls and women, and the lives of their families and communities. It is one of the most effective ways to achieve positive, sustainable change in the world, for everyone.
Certainly Education of girls and women let them gain greater knowledge, skills, self-confidence and capabilities, improving their own life prospects—and, in turn, an educated woman provides better nutrition, health care, and education for her family. In fact Education enables a woman to take greater control of her life and gain inclusion in decision-making processes, which unleashes her potential to contribute socially and economically to her family’s and community’s well-being. Do you know that India has the potential to become the human resource capital of the world?
However, discriminating women may have a harsh impact. It is estimated that more than 50 million young women in India neither study nor work. Although the fact is that female population is still considered as second-class citizen in large part of our country. It is only ironical that last September, Google celebrated the 100th birth anniversary of Asima Chatterjee, a renowned Indian woman scientist who pioneered the work on medicinal chemistry in the country. In India, it is popularly said that a woman is either someone’s daughter, sister, wife, or mother, indicating the various stages of her life. But, it also indicates the fact that we never allow women to be herself. According to statistics, around 63.5 percept female students quit school during adolescence.
1 Create a safe space: Women in South Asia often have nowhere to gather with other women and talk about issues like gender equity, women’s rights, or health. READ Canters provide a safe, trusted space for women to gather and learn.
2 Support independence and mobility: Most women in rural Nepal and India have to ask their husbands for permission to leave home. Because of their local READ Canter, a large majority of women (75-77%) report being able to freely travel outside of their home unaccompanied.
3 Teach women to read: If you are illiterate, simple things like reading signs on a road, numbers on a phone, or directions on a medicine bottle make daily life a struggle. READ centres teach thousands of women to read each year.
4 Increase savings and income: 63% of women increased their savings or income after joining savings cooperatives at READ canters in Nepal. Savings cooperatives allow women to invest money and then take turns receiving micro-loans to start micro-businesses or invest in education for their children.
5 Teach job skills and seed businesses: Women learn beekeeping, mushroom farming, sewing, and other income-generating skills through training programs at READ centres. One in five Nepali women report going on to start her own income-generating business after joining a savings cooperative and taking skills training at a READ centre.
6 Build self-esteem and confidence: A majority of women (58-83%) report that their self-esteem or confidence has increased since coming to a READ Centre – helping them to become more comfortable speaking in front of groups and sharing opinions.
7 Boost decision-making power: About two-thirds of women in Nepal (62%) and India (68%) say that they have greater decision-making power in their homes and communities as a result of coming to the READ centre.
8 Impact health: Women report increased influence in their families and communities after receiving training or information from their local READ Centre on health care, family planning, domestic violence and reproductive rights. Almost all READ centre users (88-97%) access health information and services at canters that they would not otherwise be able to access.
9 Build networks: By building social networks, women have more support and greater opportunities to effect change in their communities. Three-quarters of women in Nepal and half in India and Bhutan report expanding their network through their local READ Center. Women say that once this network is in place, they are emboldened by the knowledge that they are not alone in facing issues like domestic violence, reproductive health or family planning, and that they are inspired to help other women in their community by sharing the knowledge they have learned about these topics.
10 Create public leaders: In South Asia (particularly Bhutan), women rarely hold public leadership roles. READ centres provide leadership training for women to increase their presence in the public sphere. 61-65% of women report that they are now able to express their opinions in public or in their home. Women report joining committees, facilitating meetings, participating in protests, raising their voices against violence, and organizing community programs.
According India’s constitution, women are legal citizens of the country and have equal rights with men (Indian Parliament). Because of lack of acceptance from the male dominant society, Indian women suffer immensely. Women are responsible for baring children, yet they are malnourished and in poor health. Women are also overworked in the field and complete the all of the domestic work. Most Indian women are uneducated. Although the country’s constitution says women have equal status to men, women are powerless and are mistreated inside and outside the home.
India is a society where the male is greatly revered. Therefore women, especially the young girls, get very little respect and standing in this country. The women of the household are required to prepare the meal for the men, who eat most of the food. Only after the males are finished eating, can the females eat. Typically the leftover food is meager, considering the families are poor and have little to begin with. This creates a major problem with malnutrition, especially for pregnant or nursing women. Very few women seek medical care while pregnant because it is thought of as a temporary condition. This is one main reason why India’s maternal and infant mortality rates are so high. Starting from birth, girls do not receive as much care and commitment from their parents and society as a boy would. For example a new baby girl would only be breast fed for a short period of time, barely supplying her with the nutrients she needs. This is so that the mother can get pregnant as soon as possible in hopes of a son the next time (Coonrod).
Even though the constitution guarantees free primary schooling to everyone up to 14 years of age (Indian Parliament), very few females attend school. Only about 39 percent of all women in India actually attend primary schools. There are several reasons why families choose not to educate their daughters. One reason is that parents get nothing in return for educating their daughters. Another reason is that all the females in a household have the responsibility of the housework. So even though education does not financially burden the family, it costs them the time she spends at school when she could be doing chores. In addition, even if a woman is educated, especially in the poorer regions, there is no hope for a job. Most jobs women perform are agricultural or domestic which do not require a formal education. Another reason girls are not educated is because families are required to supply a chaste daughter to the family of her future husband. With over two-thirds of teachers in India being men and students predominately male, putting daughters in school, where males surround them all day could pose a possible threat to their virginity (Coonrod).
Because women are not educated and cannot hold a prestigious job, they take on the most physically difficult and undesirable jobs. A typical day for a woman in an agricultural position lasts from 4am to 8pm with only an hour break in the middle. Compared to a man’s day, which is from 5am to 10am and then from 3pm to 5pm. Most women are overworked with no maternity leave or special breaks for those who are pregnant. Plus women do the majority of the manual labor that uses a lot of energy compared to the men who do mostly machine operating (Coonrod). Even though women work twice as many hours as men, the men say that “women eat food and do nothing.” This is mainly because the work the women perform does not require a lot of skill and are smaller tasks.
Every man needs a Woman in his life when his life is a mess.
Because just like a game of chess the queen protects the king.
- Chaitali Parekh
