"Wish you a very happy anniversary Paavani" "To you too" Paavani smiled at her husband Dhrumin. It was their 24th anniversary, but she was unable to make up her mind whether her marriage had been a happy one or not.
Theirs was an arranged marriage, bringing together 2 high profile and terribly busy persons was a mammoth task for both sets of parents but when they had both refused to look around for a match for themselves, the parents had to pitch in. They had met a couple of times - over a period of time of course due to their busy careers - and had interacted through emails and chats. Things seemed to have worked out after they had discussed everything that they wanted to and it culminated into a perfect match as everyone called it. Yes, everything was perfect; everything was going on as planned. They were both holding great jobs, working hard, having a great time together. There were no problems in their lives, minor ones maybe, but none of them important enough to affect their zest for life. Financially they were doing very well, enjoying to the fullest what they were doing. Both sets of parents were independent but were around if required, and the requirement soon arose.
When they were discussing and planning their marriage, discussion about kids did not arise, of course there was a long time to go before planning kids.....or so they must have thought at that time, but when Paavani had to visit a gynecologist for her irregular monthly cycle, the doctor advised her to start her family soon. "You are not getting any younger Paavani" the doctor had commented and both sets of parents seemed to agree with that. "We are going to be around, why do you have to worry?" they were all eager to welcome a grandchild though they had never put any pressure on her. Dhrumin seemed to be indifferent to the whole issue, "You may want to have a kid, or not want to have one; you may want to have now, later...or never, it doesn't matter to me" "I will be around whenever you need me, but the decision regarding this issue will be entirely yours, especially because despite all talks about gender equality, the fact remains that YOU are the one to be most affected."
Some of his words Paavani did not approve of, but his promise to be around made her reach a decision. She did not take long to conceive, everyone was ecstatic, more so when she delivered a beautiful princess.
She had to resume office in a few days' time but there was no cause to worry...her in-law's had already reached to be with their grandchild as planned. Her parents and her in-laws were to take turns to be with the baby, they did not want Paavani to take a break especially when they were around, physically fit enough to care for the child. Everything was going on as planned when a visit to a pediatrician changed everything. Destiny has a way of turning your life topsy turvy however meticulously planned it is, as it did to this couple. Kavya, as the baby was named, turned out to be suffering from cerebral palsy. Everything around them seemed to have stopped for the parents and the grandparents. There were spells of denial, then blamegame, then gradual acceptance followed by umpteen visits to doctors. Paavani's leave was extended of course till she decided that she had to give up her job to be with her daughter. Her education, her job, her talent, her prospects - nothing seemed to matter any more. She knew both sets of parents genuinely wanted to help, wanted her to thrive in her career. They were keen to look after Kavya so Paavani could continue with her job, but that would have been possible had Kavya been a normal child. Paavani knew it would not be proper on her part to leave a child with special needs with people who were themselves getting old and needed attention.
She left her job and started spending most of her time with Kavya, taking her to innumerable specialists, therapists who helped her with speech training the child, physiotherapy sessions, etc. As planned the parents were always around, and Kavya could benefit tremendously from the numerous sessions her mother took her to. As far as her dad was concerned, he was always around when her mother needed him, but never otherwise. He had engrossed himself completely in his work...he continued to go up the career ladder, staying away from the house more and more. Many a times Paavani wondered if he was trying to escape from the harsh reality of his life, or was he having a good time away from home while she was going through everything alone...and then she would remeber all the times he had been around when she had asked him to.
Yes, a child with special needs had brought her world down, but she had somehow managed to rearrange the broken pieces and created another world but she was not sure whether Dhrumin was a part of that world or not. When he was away, he was totally lost for her but whenever around, he would be the same old loving and affectionate Dhrumin.
They were into the 25th year of their marriage, a lot had changed in all these years. Her parents and her in-laws had departed one after another but by that time Paavani's efforts had paid off and Kavya had grown capable enough to look after most of her needs. In fact her parents and her in-laws, while they were alive, had suggested that she take up a job as Kavya did no longer need her to be around all the time, but she had been away from the job market too long and did not possess necessary skill or confidence to go back to the office. Dhrumin had got busier, travelling more and more, spending less and less time at home. In fact there were also ruomours of his growing friendship with the M. D.'s just divorced daughter Lajja. Of course it had affected Paavani but she tried to attribute his action to the situation at home.
Another year had passed. It was their 25th anniversary today. Dhrumin was growing more and more remote, he had long ago stopped discussing his work with his equally intelligent and qualified wife. Paavani had not expected him to remember their 25th wedding anniversary hence she was not disappointed when he did not wish her, but there was a knot in her stomach after he solemnly announced that he would be bringing Lajja home for dinner as he had to make a lifealtering announcement in front of both the ladies.
The cake that arrived from the confectioner seemed to be making mockery of their 25 years of togetherness but Dhrumin was in a lighter mood that evening, probably because he had achieved what he had set out to achieve at the beginning of his career, he was now the CEO of a small company. Lajja was not the only one he had invited, there were a few more people who were important to them both..but Lajja was the only one who had stayed on after the party.
"I have to tell you something Paavani" the moment had arrived. Paavani wished to run away but couldn't and suddenly she felt light. Drained of all emotions she was now ready to face whatever came her way because she knew he would never, ever ask for Kavya - everything else she was ready to give up.
"I have resigned from my job Paavani. I think I have earned enough to see us through our old age and Kavya's lifetime." "I know I haven't been able to do much for you and Kavya but after you left the job, I had to work harder to earn more. I could trust you to handle Kavya and then you had our parents to help you so I concentrated on my career. I had to make provision for Kavya after we are gone. And I did not want to quit with my dream unfulfilled. I wanted to head the company I had started my career with, my unfulfilled dream would have made me unhappy, and would have in turn brought unhappiness to you too."
Lajja rushed to the kitchen to bring him water as he paused for breath, Paavani was unable to move, numbed by the thought of what he was driving at. After a sip of cold water he resumed "It is not that I was unable to understand what you were going through. You had to give up your career without any fault of yours. I could have done that, but I did not have the courage to do that and so it was you who had to take such a decision. Though you never complained, I could sense a trace of regret whenever I discussed my work with you, so I stopped discussing my work, my accomplishments, my promotions with you. I started to feel guilty whenever I achieved something professionally till.....till I met Lajja."
"Lajja is almost your age, recently divorced. Her dad assigned me the task of initiating her into the corporate life. I trained her and she is now capable enough to handle a business on her own, of her own, she is planning to go into furniture business - big way. i remembered you telling me that you once dreamed of designing furniture for kids; I also witnessed your creativity and talent when we were designing Kavya's room - how you combined your aesthetic sense and Kavya's needs to create unique pieces so I talked to Lajja about it and have given my word to her that you will take care of the kids's units. You had to throw away your career Paavani, I will not let you throw away your dreams. It is now your turn to go out and live your dreams, I have lived mine."
"I am not here to see you both getting emotional Dhrumin" Lajja winked at him reminding him of the purpose of her visit....she was to watch over sleeping Kavya while the Silver Jubilee couple drove to the drive-in restaurant for a midnight snack to celebrate their role reversal.
