A Letter to Parents
(Part- I)
(Dear Respected Readers, lots of blessings are required to be a parent but justifying yourself as a parent is much more challenging and required lots of efforts. This article "A letter to Parent" can be read and enjoyed by anybody but highly recommended to all newly being parents and those who are going to be parents in the near future. Here we have some insights about- how to do the right parenting. This is going to be published in two parts, only to make its readers understand it better.)
Dear Parents,
I found it important to write a letter to you because the future of the whole world is in your hands. You are defining the future of the world. It largely depends on you how the future world would be. I do not believe in ‘Children of today are the future of the country'. Rather I do believe that its parents of a country who define the future of the country in narrow sense and future of the world in its wider sense. So, it is absolutely meaningless or difficult to achieve, the better world through educating children, which can be easily done by educating parents. Because an educated parent only can make well-educated citizen for the world.
I say so, after making a study on the complexities of the human mind. The human mind is such an amazing machine which can make or break the world, but never can be in rest. In other words, you only can direct your mind either in constructive or in a destructive way but certainly cannot put it in rest. It sounds a lot when it is in rest, as this is against its basic nature. But the remarkable finding is that, whether a mind will go in a constructive way or in it it's opposite, it largely depends on how it is feed in its initial ten years. It is found to be seen that, any attempt beyond this stage to change its direction is least effective or next to impossible. It means, how life would be is planted in its initial ten years. And it is no surprise that a child spends almost 70% of this time with his/her parents. So if the present world is heading towards very difficult situations, it is parents who should be held responsible first. And if we are looking for a permanent solution again we need to back to parents only. Because the real key is in their hands.
So this letter is an appeal to all parents to understand their responsibilities and ensure their participation to make this world a better place to live in. So, my dear parents, let's start with a very basic question, ‘What is a child?'
Most of the parents are with the wrong impression that they are everything of their children. And this wrong understanding is the reason behind all troubles and sufferings. This beliefs is so deep in them that, they refuse to accept their small children as complete humans all by themselves. It refuses them to accept- a child has its own emotions, thoughts, believes, etc. A child has its own approach to react at happenings of the world and grow accordingly, which parent refuse to accept. Parents expect children to react as they want. They impose their expectations, emotions, believes on their children. Every parent wants their children to number one in each and every field. This creates an unnecessary burden on children. Their natural growth gets disturbed. Basically, a tussle happens in between two set of emotions, beliefs, thoughts, etc.( in one end children and in other parents).
But unfortunately, in more than 90% of cases children become a victim of it. In rest, 10% cases differences happen, if child's inborn qualities match with the expectations of parents or if the child is so strong that, it does not leave own natural growth process irrespective of what happens. But in most cases, children are forced to live up to the expectations of parents. In the process of fulfilling parent's expectations children miss out their own natural way of growth, which not in the interest of anybody (nor parents not children, not the society nor the world in large).
Dear parents, this is not the right process of parenting. Have you ever thought what happens to a child when he/she is forced to perform against his/her own interest? How badly his/her emotions hurt? What happens to his/her self-confidence? To make a test put you in the same boat and try and check- you may understand what kind of injustice you do with them. But why is this? What is their mistake? Like every living being, every child has its own life and he/she has every right to live in own way.
Or is it is because they look for your support? They look for your support because they need you to fulfill your dreams, but certainly not to be a victim of your dreams. In name of making their future secure you just crush down new possibilities. And if you believe your children obey your opinion because they respect you, then in most of the cases you are wrong. They just obey you because their financial and physical limitations force them to do so. But once they go strong they start to victimize you and society. This is the reason why family life is in great trouble now. Family life becomes strong and successful when there are love and respect for everyone to everyone.
Then how can we be a good parent? To be a good parent is never so difficult. To be a good parent, first of all, you should respect a child as a completely human and understand your responsibilities as well. How much you have done to give birth to a child? It is true that a mother suffers a lot during pregnancy. Her suffering cannot be expressed in language. But with all due respect to mother, a mother only participates in 10-20% of the exercises required for the child's growth in the womb. Lots of things happen beyond her knowledge. No mother can answer when and how life enters, how a child grows, how its mind functions etc. Even none can. So if you will look at the activities happens to a child and even to human or any living being are taken care of by nature all by itself. Nature does most of the thing happens to any living being.
If this is the truth, then just evaluate your claim on your children. You just do something of the whole being of the children. They are purely a product of nature- nature takes care of them. They are already fed with some qualities (some skills, abilities, nature, behavior patterns, etc.). Do you ever teach a child to cry? Do you ever teach a child to move own body, laugh, anger, walk, etc? You just facilitate them. In the same manner, they are also burned with their own set of natural skills, which get expressed with the passage of time.
Then what is your role as parents? Will you just keep on watching? No. You have to play a big role in identifying those hidden qualities of your children and connect those with the real world. Don't change your children if the real world is different. Rather find space for your children to get expressed. There space for everything in this world. Then why cannot for your child? Right parenting depends on putting skills of your children in the right place at the right time as required by the world. Not either way like, adjust the child as the requirement of the world. Do you have ever thought why did your child take birth now? It is only because he/she has something to show to the present world. But it largely depends on parents whether those skills will get expressed and end all by itself. That is something which will rate or scale you as parents.
Never put a burden on your children. Do you understand what is a burden? A burden is something which is too much to carry or achieve. When you burden a child it suppresses his/her internal qualities, which never in the interest of anybody (neither you nor your child). It may give you temporary outcomes but in the long term nothing is more disaster than this. Yes if you think if your child is capable of something, first develop his/her skill levels before handing over new responsibilities. Now it will not be a burden but a challenge, which you kid, can do for sure.
Do not suppress the emotions of your children like- cry, anger, laugh, etc. Because these are some mediums through which a child learn to express his/her feeling. And these emotions have great potentials all by themselves. You can channelize those to get the desired outcomes.
Like these so many other practices can be implemented to give a proper upbringing to your children. But this starts only if you acknowledge and respect a child as a completely human and pay your full attention to identify those qualities in which your child is good at and facilitating how those can be expressed in best possible way.
Remaining is in Part-II…….
