After three months of meeting last time, We met again. Pranay messaged me on my mobile to come early to meet him. As usual, I could not resist the feeling of being with him. I decided to go with him.
I reached the Bus stop and found him standing near the bench at the bus stop. As soon as I arrived there, We saw our Bus was about to start. I got on the bus first & Pranay followed me. I chose to seat at window seat & Pranay set beside. We were silent. None of us utter a single word. Our hearts wanted to speak about lots of things but we couldn't. Lots of things were running through my mind. Pranay also was much confused how to start.
It was little hot inside the bus. So, I was trying to open up the window. The window glass was tough to move. I tried but couldn't touch it. I looked at Pranay expecting him to help me. He understood. He gave a sweet smile & moved the glass & open the window. I thanked him for that. It was very very formal. After that we again became silent. The bus started. We still were not able to say anything. We both wanted to talk, but none of us began to speak anything. I wanted Pranay to talk about something. I wanted to hear his sweet voice. I tried to tell him how much I missed him & how much I love him. But, I could never express it. After 15 minutes of silence, Pranay took his mobile & was typing something. I thought he was replying to someone. I didn't like that as always. All I wanted him to concentrate only on us. I thought that Pranay would be busy in texts & would not bother about me then. But my prediction was wrong.
He typed something. Suddenly I felt his touch at my hand. It was a feeling I always loved. I turned my face towards him. He was looking extraordinarily cute. His face still expressed Innocence of him, and that is the reason why I always am nervous in front of him. I looked into his eyes. It was full of emotions. I could see lots of love for me in his eyes. I wanted to gaze into his eyes for long, but he silently pointed towards the mobile screen. I did not understand why he wanted me to see his mobile. I took the mobile & read; he wrote something for me. I read it carefully. I read it many more times. The whole world stopped for a while for me. It was unique, more than unique to me. I didn't want to come out of those words. My heart filled with lots of emotions that my eyes could not control. Tears rolled down of my eyes. I wanted to cry more, but suddenly thought of controlling myself did not allow me to do so. I had to act tough. I turned to other side & wiped my tears. But my heart was thrilled with the satisfaction of his words he wrote for me. He had written,
"I love you so much; I can't live without you. Try to understand, please. I need you."
The only thing I wanted from him was his love. I was living at that moment. It was a first memorable moment of my life. He had told me "I love you" before that day, but that day brought something extraordinary feeling. I wanted to say to him that I too love him a lot & I also don't want to live without him. Maybe I needed him more than he did. But I had lots of things in my mind. I need to control myself. If I were weak, it would be much more painful later. That was what I was thinking.
I returned his mobile & set silently again. He wanted me to speak something. He was eagerly waiting for my response, but I didn't. I had to be sturdy & durable. He was gazing at me peculiarly. I was not able to make eye contact with him after reading that text. I knew if I would, I would lose control over myself. So, I avoided looking at him. He thought for a while & again typed something. He handed it to me. It was written,
"Sorry, for the last time baby."
I looked at him. That time he spoke, "sorry, It will not happen again. Please sorry." He apologized.
He was looking serious; I could see he was speaking very heartly & all he wanted me to understand him. I couldn't control myself further. I wanted to stop that serious conversion at that time, I replied to him with a smile.
"I am not a baby kid "
He smiled back at my comment. The atmosphere turned to light. We both were laughing for a few moments.
After that, we talked for a while. He was trying to make me understand his feelings. I too wanted to listen to him always saying he loves me a lot. But the only thing needed was self-control. I had to be strong enough to control my feelings. He knew that I love him a lot, but he wanted me to step forward to him. He thought that I didn't believe him & do not have trust in his words. He was not entirely wrong about that though. I had doubts about his feelings before. I always knew that he never had evil intentions to play with my feelings, but I thought that his feelings for me were temporary affection or maybe it could be an attraction.
I tried to convince him about it, but he was firmly saying, that it wasn't just an attraction. It was love.
He was continuously speaking about his love, & I was listening to him without giving any response. I had to be tough. He was telling me, ' I swear... I love you so much. I never loved anyone this much." & while speaking this, he became more nervous & emotional. His eyes were moistened & then tears rolled down to his cheeks from his eyes. His eyes became red due to tears. It was happening all of a sudden. I never expected that. I could not control myself watching him with tears. I held his hand between my hands tightly & told him I love him too very much & I am always there for him. He was gazing at my eyes wanting the assurance that I believe him. He tightened the grip & held my hands more tightly. Tears were still falling from his eyes. He was looking adorable that time. I was again falling for him.
I never thought he would be so emotional. I wanted to hug him tight & wipe his tears. I wanted to kiss his tomato red cheek & nose. I want to kiss his eyes & the tears which were the proof of his love. I didn't want any further evidence of his love. Those tears were speaking a lot.
We both stared at each other for a while. I was not able to speak anything. All I wanted was to hold him tight, but I couldn't do that. We were on the bus, & the coach was about to reach the destination. I asked him softly to calm down. Then, I told him that I love him so much. He was satisfied then. He said to me that he never had tears for anyone, but that was I who didn't trust his words & that was hurting him. We set quietly for a few minutes holding hands tight without speaking anything. Maybe there was no necessity of words. Our eyes were talking & the tight grip of our hands was building the bond of love closer. For the first time, I was feeling the depth of his love. It was the best moment of my life.
That day was indeed very special to me. I felt like I had the whole world. I wanted that moment to stop forever. I wanted to live my entire life at that moment. Nothing else was needed.
When you begin to love someone, it feels good, but it feels the best when that someone loves you back with more affection. I had that someone special in my life. I was exceptionally very happy. Happy to have love in my life......
But the question arises... Till when..??? Was that just a dream or it was for lifetime???????
