My ode for the house wife!!
Let me kick start this article with a disclaimer- “Hi! I am Anushka (read female) and I am not a sexist!” Well, this article is not about the way a woman is treated by men; rather, I would want to focus on how a woman treats herself! Yes, there are concerns that are appalling-starting with the birth of a girl child to rape, where we (as women) can throw in very little to strike a change, yet there are areas where we can help ourselves! And all I want to do is point out those areas and make an effort there.
One fine day when I was out for dinner with my friends, I heard my girl friend tell someone “Oh, I don’t work; I am just a house wife!” It really saddened me. If a house wife, doesn’t value herself, then, God save her from how others (including her close people) will treat her. Ah, I know where this is going. It’s because at the end of the month her bank account is not being credited by the X amount! So, clearly no money=no value. Isn’t this sad? And the saddest part is the woman herself announcing it.
Common, you don’t always need to be a martyr. A woman will always save that last piece of cake for her loved ones, completely ignoring her own craving. She would rather satisfy her craving watching you devour that last piece. Well nothing wrong with that but it’s time that you give credit to yourself too. I am not saying to keep bragging over it all the time of all the sacrifices that you have made, but to value them. Value yourself! Appreciate yourself of what all you do during the day. Don’t wait for your husband, your children or your in laws for that. Of course, that would be a cherry on the cake, but at least bake the cake first!
I have worked both in the corporate field and in the business, but the hardest part was in between the both where I was – well, not a house wife, but ‘just sitting at home’. That’s when I saw the amount of work my mother did all throughout the day, with a smile on her face, and that too completely selfless! One who has never seen that (or done) will definitely say ‘oh, you are just sitting at home!’ If only she would start charging the value (in monetary terms) for all the services that she provides – cooking, healthcare, teaching, handling finances, managing the servants (as a manager manages his team), taking care of the kids and the parents which cannot even be valued monetarily, that they would know their true worth. For all the unpaid services that she provides, we become her debtors for the life! But we lax it off because she never prepares a balance sheet and nor is there any assessment to be made in future.
Eleanor Brownn, an author, quotes-“Rest and self care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” Appreciating yourself is not bad. Loving yourself is not bad. You deserve that. Nobody is judging you and if someone is just politely ask that person to exchange places with you. I bet he would rather have his mind changed. Wink wink.
Remember ladies, you are like our army people. It’s because they are at the border, we can live peacefully. Likewise, we can walk out every day for work peacefully, knowing that you are there to protect our home, caring for the children, caring for the old people in the house which otherwise would not have been possible! When you feel low about the fact that you are not doing anything other than house work, just be a little more dramatic and imagine, what would happen if you suddenly stop doing it from tomorrow. There you go, you know what would happen right?
Celebrate your being a house wife. Pat your back when you cook well. Treat yourself with an ice cream when you successfully helped your child in his homework. Go for a spa once in a while when you had a difficult time taking care of your ageing parents. Once in a while go for a movie alone. This I really don’t understand, she will go for a satsang alone, but not for a movie, wherein actually they hardly speak with each other in those 3 hours! If nothing else, just jig for a few minutes in joy all by yourself!
There has been strong statistics on the rate of suicides and depression, especially amongst the house wives. Of course, there are many reasons for those which may not be in her hands. But, I am concerned about those wherein everything else is in well in place and the one thing that keeps lingering in her mind is that she is worthless and hence depressed. That needs to be written off. It can only change when you stop yourself from being undervalued.
This article is not to belittle the one who is working (men or working women). But as we know, today, due credit is being given to them (monetary and otherwise), but I guess the house wives are yet to live their share. Since, this article will not reach a lot of house wives directly, I would like to request you to boost their confidence, appreciate them (like you want your boss to), talk (read listen) to them, spend time with them, make them your priority and please don’t take them for granted. A woman will soon forget the expensive ring, the magic dress, and a swanky car, but forever will remember how you treated her and how you made her feel.
Also, its alluring to see how many men are now encouraging and appreciating their women in life. A big ‘thank you’ to them and hope that horizon expands!
Here is a little verse that I dedicate to every house wife!
It’s five in the morning, and she is awake,
To prepare a meal for her working husband’s sake.
Oh, it’s the child now, who seeks her attention,
“Schoolbag, lunch box, home work, uniform”- immaculately done, even before his mention.
And yet when someone pops that question,
‘Oh, I don’t work; I am just a house wife!” –yes, that’s her submission.
And now would be the time to lie down and watch some ‘Desperate wives‘,
Ah! Laundry, cleaning, washing, grocery shopping can wait- let me have some fries!
The noon slowly dies, the dinner awaits,
The man likes Indian, the child western- well, hers is yet under wraps.
And yet when someone pops that question,
‘Oh, I don’t work; I am just a house wife!” –yes, that’s her submission.
Two hours standing amidst the heat of the kitchen, she fixes the feast,
It’s the hundredth time, her knees have complained, while all she does is still resist!
And just when she is about to throw herself on the couch,
Here comes the child, absolutely famished and off she plods back to the sultry region. Ouch!
And yet when someone pops that question,
‘Oh, I don’t work; I am just a house wife!” –yes, that’s her submission.
The child is off to play; now, does she have free time plenty?
Oh no! not yet, for she is yet to care for her child of seventy.
‘My back is killing me!’ complaints the mother,
Immediately, she transforms into a masseuse, no questions further.
And yet when someone pops that question,
‘Oh, I don’t work; I am just a house wife!” –yes, that’s her submission.
She befriends the X of algebra and memorizes the periodic table,
To assure the child that he is not the only one who faces the trial.
The husband is back; tired; “how was your day?” enquires the eager house wife,
“The presentation went great!” and she glows; one day she would get to answer too, if ever asked, with this thought, she strikes out the strife.
And yet when someone pops that question,
‘Oh, I don’t work; I am just a house wife!” –yes, that’s her submission.
The night has fallen; everyone is asleep except her and the nocturnal bat,
She has one last look at her family, as she gears up for tomorrow’s threat.
‘Yippieeee! Today is Sunday’, announces the child charting his plans to party,
Her lip is half curled up, when she reads a message on her Whats app; ‘A soldier and a house wife is never off duty!”
And how I wish when someone pops that question again, would she say,
‘Oh, I am a proud house wife who happily works without a pay!’
With this, I would rather not wish you a happy women’s day, but rather wish you are happy every day!
